America's Supernanny

[susiestar]

I watched one earlier episode of this show and am watching the one where she calls the cops. I have this HUGE problem. Maybe I am strange, but I cannot STAND to hear this educated woman who has clearly dedicated her life to helping children tell them they are bad.

I don't know if any of you say your kids are "bad kids". I am NOT saying that I have a problem with you. I just was parented differently. My mom was super clear growing up that we were GOOD no matter WHAT we did. We might be badly behaved, but we were still good. We were NOT allowed to hate each other but we were allowed to hate each other's BEHAVIOR.

My childhood bff grew up hearing about how bad she was. She was bad for drawing in dirt with a fingertip, for disagreeing, for anything she did. She was praised for looking nice and good grades, but was not told she was a good girl. It took a HUGE toll on her self esteem and she has had life long problems of feeling that she is a bad person. She abides by all laws, has no sub abuse issues, works hard in a school, is raising two great kids, and is involved in her community and STILL she thinks she is "BAD".

WHY can this educated woman not see that kids are very very very rarely 'bad' and telling them they are is just not okay. I feel differently about a parent saying it. Supernanny has had a LOT of education and training and experience working with kids and if she can't see how hurtful this is, what is she doing?

Yes, the adhd kid on this episode is horrendously behaved. But he is STILL a good person. Personally those high kicks would have landed him smack down on the floor because I would have grabbed the leg and dropped him. It took Wiz exactly ONE time of me doing that to learn that it was NOT going to happen in my house. He still remembers it. But I am not those parents. I do think those parents need help and this woman may be able to really help them.

I just wish she could SEE the pain that telling a child that HE is bad causes. BEHAVIOR is bad. People are very, very, very rarely so.

 

[Hound dog]

It's probably a good thing I haven't watched it then.

My mom couldn't separate behavior from the person, she still can't. If you did everything she wanted/ordered you to do you might be considered good. (notice the *might*) If not, you were bad. Or you could just tick her off or come near her at a bad moment in her day and be *bad* (if not worse).

My sibs still suffer from self esteem issues, I got therapy and still have some issues but nothing like theirs. My mom for the life of her can't figure out where their issues come from. *sigh*

I taught my kids like your mom did.

I can't stomach someone who tells a kid they're bad, even if I know they're referring to the behavior......make it clear to the CHILD you're referring to the behavior. They can't read your mind.

 

[DammitJanet]

She does NOT say that a child is bad and she will go out of her way to correct the parents if they are the ones doing that.

 

[buddy]

I remember thinking I was glad she clarified to the parents that there are NO BAD kids and that they do bad behaviors sometimes.... Maybe she slipped in an episode? I actually thought that was a good thing because even Q knows the difference and will call me on it if I make a mistake. I usually go out of my way to say that was a really unkind behavior instead of you are mean...etc.

 

[susiestar]

At around 25 min into the show she sure as sugar DID say that. I rewound and watched and listened to it six times because I could not believe it. I am glad it is a slip of the tongue, but she said he was a bad kid and she was INCHES from his face in an intimate discussion with him. I was HORRIFIED. I am glad it isn't normal. I haven't seen much of her show so it made an impact and that was why I asked here about it.

 

[buddy]

I'm glad it isn't normal either but still for that ONE kid, that is really not cool. Hope she had much more time with him than that and made herself more clear.

 

[susiestar]

I think I am hypersensitive to this. Partly from hearing my friend's parents and gma, partly from hearing so very many parents around here saying it. These are NOT all very young or uneducated parents. I was just completely shocked to hear it from someone who went into her profession and became so successful BECAUSE she didn't want her kids to be abused. Or anyone else's.

But we ALL make mistakes and I know I have said things that I didn't mean or wished later I hadn't said, and I also sometimes mangle what I am meaning to say. So I will operate on the premise that it was a mistake. I DO think she handled that family well.

Does anyone know if they offer any "aftercare" or ongoing help/advice/support to the parents on the show?

I wonder what would happen if she had come to our home when Wiz was at his worst. I think she MIGHT have enough to stand up to him, but by the end of the week I think she would have been incredibly confused. Of course, difficult child and kids behaving badly because parents are not being consistent/actively doing anything but shouting are about the same as apples and space shuttles, in my opinion.