So last time I posted, my son had headed back to college the day after the worst Christmas of my life, to appeal his suspension. He did and he's re-enrolled (we called the college and checked to make sure he wasn't lying about it). Why they'd let him back in when he didn't go to class for the better part of 3 months and failed everything is beyond me, but whatever. He is still living in the off-campus student houseing and we're still paying for it. We have to pay through May (lease) whether he's there or not, so at least he isn't at home. His student loans pay tuition and any books. He still has the car, and we were still sending him spending money ($40 a week) until a couple weeks ago, when he called asking for the $760 in student loan money we were holding. He said a guy was moving out of the dorm and had a gaming computer he'd built that he wanted $600 or $700 for. Our first reaction was "Ohhellno!" But my husband and I sat and discussed it. We finally told out son this, "We have no reason to trust you. You've lied to us every single time we've spoken to you for the best part of a year. You don't have a computer because you sold yours...the one we helped you buy. You don't have a TV because you sold yours. The one we paid for. You don't have anything, because you keep selling stuff...even if it doesn't belong to you. We're tired of lying. We're tired of the entire situation. IF we do this, there are conditions: You will NOT receive another penny from us. From now on you live on your student loans. (So you better talk that kid down, because it ain't much.) In 3 weeks, you get $120 from us. That's about all you'll have left from your loan to last you until the next check comes in and we don't know when that will be. If you run out of cigarettes, you'll just have to not smoke. If you don't like the food there, you'll go hungry. If you have no gas, you won't drive. If you call and ask for money, I will say no. If you shout and argue, I will hang up on you. If you have a TRUE emergency - defined as something unexpected that could not have been prevented by proper planning on your part, like a car break down or a medical bill - you will call us, give us proof of the expense, and we will pay the provider directly by credit card. We won't pay you. And if we find out you are lying about this computer, if you don't buy it, if you blow this money on something else, you will have burned your bridges with us. We will never trust anything you say ever again. Finally, if you don't attend classes and pass, you will be expelled as you are on probation and since you are on student loan warning, you won't be given additional loans. So you better get your head out of....and do what you're supposed to." His response? "I accept those conditions." We gave him the money. His account now has 68 cents in it. It's not my problem. I know that he has shelter and food and even free medical care. He has a phone and computer access, whether he bought that one or not. So it's done. I actually feel better now that it's done. It was his money. He borrowed it, he'll have to pay it back. I no longer sit around wondering when the phone will ring and he'll ask for it. So far, we've had a couple of chatty texts, mostly about him being sick or such. He says he's going to class. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I've decided it's not my problem. He's been told that if he comes home he will have rules and that violating those rules mean he's chosen not to live here. Much like if he takes off with the car, or if he ever steals from us again, he will have chosen to go to jail. At this point, I'm comfortable with the situation. I'm still dreadfully disappointed in him. I mean, I'm a lawyer. My husband work for Corrections. We're so law-abiding that we walk back into the store if the clerk forgot to ring up paper towels. (Really, my husband's done that. They look at you like you're crazy.) In a way I miss my son. But I've missed him since he was about 16, when he stopped caring about us. It's easier to have him not be here than to miss him when he's in the next room. I guess we're just taking things as they come these days...kind of wait and see.