.And, so it begins....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by dashcat, Jul 3, 2012.

  1. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    difficult child has been 21 for less than a week and I am already feeling antsy and uncomfortable with the direction this seems to be taking.

    The night before her birthday, she went out after midnight to the local conveninece store and bought a six pack. She had an underage girlfriend over and they polished it off. I did not find outuntil the next day. She'd come into my room and woken me to say she was running to the store ... would be right back ..and I, un my fast-asleep state, did not connect the dots. The next day, her birthday, I told her in no uncertain terms that NO underage person would drink in my home, under any circumstances. I told her that anyone of age who happened to drink here would not drive home. She seemend genuinely contrite and I let it go. As I posted last week, we had a wonderful day.

    That night, Mr. Ostrich took her to two bars. She reported the next day that she'd had four drinks - quite a mixture of things - and felt sick. She said Mr. O had only one drink as he was driving (very un-Mr. O-like, but a good thing). I wasn't happy about the bar hopping with dad thing, but kept out of it.

    Thursday (the day after birthday), she hung around here for a good part of the night and ended up going to Mr. O's (where there is air conditioning ... really can't say I blame her) to watch a movie. Came home after I was sleeping. Didn't say anything bout drinking, and I have to believe Mr. O wouldn't let her drive. He lives within walking disance. Still, it's pretty easy to sneak it there.

    Friday, she went out with friends and called to say she was spending the night. We've agreed to a two night per week allocaiton (weird, but it's working) of staying out. Saturday was her big birthday bash with friends. She told me in advance she wouldn't be home and gave me addresses and phone numbers.

    Texted her on Sunday and she replied "Very hungover. Going to breakfast (it was 2:00 p.m.) and then directly to work. Came home at midnight, sober.

    Yesterday was her day off. She went to the therapist and told me she's working on staying away from pot and that she hasn't smoked since she came to me about depression and counseling three weeks ago. This is a good thing on th surface, but I am wondering if it's not just her way of distracting me - and herself - from focusing on her alcohol comumption.

    Went apartment hunting with a girlfriend (the underage one) and lost her wallet along the way. Much drama. She was supposed to come iwth me to see the Clevleand Orchestra for a free concert downtown but couldn't ...looking for wallet, filing out police report, etc. I went. She texted me when she got home and said she was just "hanging". I got home around 11:30 and she was in bed with lights out. VERRRYYYY unusual. I go to throw something away and find three empty botltles of Summer Shanty in the trash. The rest of the 6 pack is in the fridge. I'm pretty sure if the friend had stayed, more would be gone so I think she drank it herself.

    Not a good sign. How in the world did she buy beer without an ID??? Or mpney? Her wallet was gone. The point is, she had to go out of her way to get someone to buy this for her so she could go home and drink by herself.

    Tonight is Mr. O's girlfriend's big Fourth of July bash. It's an annual drunkfest and she's already told me she's going.

    Thanks for listening to this long ramble, guys. I don't like how this is looking and I needed to vent.

    Last edited: Jul 3, 2012
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Could she have bought the beer before sye lost her wallet? My difficult child never had a problem getting alochol, there are so many people who bought it for her and she knows all the places to go where they don't check ID's and I know she is now paying it forward by buying it for all her underage friends who have attached themselves to her. She's probably getting it from some of the sameplaces my difficult child did two years ago when she was hanging with a bunch of kids from wadsworth and hinckley.

    Hold on tight for a rocky ride, she's legal now and let's face it, neither of our difficult child's are moderate in any of their choices.

  3. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Oh, you're so right Nancy. I'm sure there are no shortage of people who would buy it for her ....and I don't suppose it even matters much at this point Nothing my (or your ... or many here) difficult children do anythingi n moderation. I suppose that's what I'm really reacting to. I talked to a friend (who does not have a difficult child, but was - herself - a very troubled teen once) and she whacked me with an imaginary 2x4 and said "Chill. It's out of your hands. It hasn't even been a week, for God's sake." And she's right, but most of us here know to spot difficult child issues very early.

    Sereinty prayer, serenity prayer....
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My husband reminds me all the time when he says "not my problem".

  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Hang in there. These difficult children really train us to be on the watch and on edge about everything. I notice that even the phone ringing or a different sleep pattern gets to me and triggers the old mommy gut. It may be nothing, but it maybe trouble. Yes it is out of your hands-if only it could be out of your minds...doesn't happen.
  6. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    I've grown to HATE the sound of my cell ringing.

    Best answer to finding peace for me is to turn it off. I relax more. Can easily check for texts and voice mail every so often.

    Dash, I know you are more concerned now she is legal. Then again, that doesn't hardly slow down most of our difficult children. Hope for the best and take care of yourself!