On the handwriting issue - from my observations and increasing exposure to other high-functioning autistics/Aspies, there seems to be a subset of individuals who have high-functioning autism or Asperger's AND also have hypermobile joints, often poor coordination (dyspraxia) and the follow-on is poor handwriting and pain when handwriting. Even easy child 2/difficult child 2 has this even though she doesn't quite qualify for a diagnosis of Asperger's.
The hypermobile joints - it used to be called 'double-jointed' - is due to loose ligaments. The rheumatologist described it as like a truck whose load is not tied down tightly, and the load shifts every time the truck goes round a corner. Over time the load and/or the truck gets damaged.
We're already seeing early osteoarthritis in difficult child 3. The older kids (except easy child) have clear signs of it.
As far as school goes - we organised for the kids to be permitted to use a computer in class. The school district likes "Alphasmart Neo", which is little more than a keyboard with a calculator-style screen incorporated. Very sturdy, saves files as text only, so you upload them to a easy child or Mac and then do any formatting. difficult child 3 has his with him at home (correspondence student) so we have something to use for exams in the school.
I'm still investigating this further, I found the constellation of symptoms interesting. I think it may overlap with more than autism, but as I said, I'm still digging up info. But in difficult child 3's drama class, of the other high-functioning autistics & Aspies, at least half would have the same problem with hands & handwriting. difficult child 3's handwriting is getting worse with each passing year. And I mentioned before - the pain in their hands when they write is an increasing problem - the pain is due to them having to hold their fingers more rigidly, to stop the joints bending back.
Check his pencil grip - look at his fingertips. Do they tend to bend backwards? if they do, this makes it harder to control the pencil.
Example: I have a pair of kitchen tongs designed for my non-stick frypan. But the ends of the tongs are plastic and bend. When I try to pick up a steak, the weight of the steak bends the ends of the tongs and the steak falls out and back into the pan. It's like how I imagine ru bber chopsticks would be.
For these kids - their fingertips are as useful as if they are made of similar bendy material, and they have to exert much more force than usual, to maintain a controlling pencil grip. Hence - pain.
What can help - soft pencil grips, to make it easier to hold them. Piano lessons - it encourages the finger joints to bend in, not out. Use of computer for writing tasks in school and at home. Exercises to work on balance (we're discovering the joys and therapy capability of Wii Fit - much cheaper than anything equivalent such as Dore, which is now in receivership in Australia anyway).
You may need to have him assessed by a rheumatologist or at least an Occupational Therapist, in order to get the considerations necessary written into an IEP for him at school.
There is help. School isn't always the best when it comes to support, although they do generally try. High school tends to be the worst. Tertiary generally provides the best support.
For more information on what special provisions can be applied in your case, check the Special Education forum.
Marg