So I'm driving home from work and who do I see wandering the neighborhood? difficult child. difficult child gets dropped off by his driver around 3 and I get home at 3:15. He's supposed to sit on the bench for 15 until I get home. He can't go in the house because he steals food products like syrup and dumps them all over his room. He steals his sisters favorite toys, he cuts his mattress, he slips laptops into the pool. He can't be allowed to wander the neighborhood because he knocks on doors of strangers and says he's starved and thirsty and not allowed to go home. He once got himself 'kidnapped'. A couple on the next street took him and held him in their car and wouldn't give him back until we got the police. He disappears for hours until the police in get a helicoptor, a bloodhound, automatic dialing of all the neighors in a 5 mile radius, a cop on a horse and 7 cop cars are on our lawn. So I pulled up to the curb and told him to get in the car. "What are you doing?" "I don't want to go home." "Why not." "Because I don't want to have to eat until I die." "What!?" "If you eat too much your stomache will rip." "WHAT!? No, it won't." "I learned it in science." "No, it's not going to rip." difficult child had a physical last week. He's 84 lbs and has a bmi of 17. He often goes without eating for a day, then sneaks food. Last week I found him sneaking a can of campbells soup up to his room. He said he didn't want to eat it, only have it for the points for school, but he didn't take the can to school and did eat it. I let it go and didn't tell my husband. husband worries that he doesn't eat enough. But usually lets him not eat or eat as he wants. Sometimes on Sunday night husband fills up a plate pretty full and hands it to him, and sometimes when difficult child serves himself and husband will put more on. But husband also tells him that he only has to eat until he's full. husband has been told by two therapists not to make an issue of his eating or not eating, but husband will on occasion do it. Not so often any more. About 2 years ago difficult child said I was poisoning him. Then he said he wasn't allowed to eat because I wouldn't let him (not true, but he needs an excuse and always blames me for what he does), then a few weeks ago when his 8 year old sister walked by, he whispered to her that I made him eat 8 hot dogs (also not true). He's apparently has said something similar to husband. I have the bad feeling that difficult child is going to explain why he was wandering the neighborhood was he didn't want to come home and be forced to eat until he dies. Altho maybe not. difficult child has the habit of trying out a story to excuse his behavior, then of refining it when it's clear from people's reactions that he missed the mark. He always tries to excuse his behavior by playing pitiful, and he always tries to make me into his oppressor. I don't want to tell husband about the wandering the neighborhood, and I don't want to tell him about the eating until his stomache rips excuse. But I have to, and husband is going to be depressed and excuse difficult child and say that we have to give the medications a chance to work, and he'll go talk to difficult child who'll come up with something else or some poor me thing, and co-dependent husband will buy it and be withdrawn and unhappy all weekend, and try to 'bribe' difficult child into being happy by giving him 'breaks' (instead of a consequence for wandering the neighborhood) and difficult child will feel like he got one over on husband and flex his muscle by doing something outrageous like pouring syrup all over his room or throwing a laptop in the pool or something no one ever thought of before. And husband will ignore it. difficult child told me when I found him sneaking soup (which I never told husband about), that dad's not allowed to yell at him anymore, the Lexapro dr told dad he can't do that. husband says he doesn't know what to do, so he never does anything. (altho he seldom blames me anymore, he used to believe any crappy story difficult child told him). What a drag.