on saturday ant got Kaleb against my wishes. he had moved into a bad area, was living with a girl he met on the internet. she was a 20 yr old difficult child. by sunday I invited them to dinner so I could see Kaleb.
monday and tuesday ant went to work and Kaleb was left with this girl. sigh. against my advice and wishes. Tuesday night I was in bed, and ant called and said I had to go get them. I could hear the girl screaming and sounded like throwing stuff.
I was an hour away from them. It was going on midnight. no way was I driving to that place. then again, my 3 yr old grandson was there. Under extreme duress, I called my ex and told him the situation. amazingly he chose to go get them and deliver them to my house.
they arrived after 1AM. Kaleb in pjs, no coat and clinging to me. ant and his dad left to go back to the apartment and get their clothes, diapers etc. I tucked Kaleb in my bed and he was telling me people were "really mad". when ant returned and my ex left...I had Kaleb to sleep. ant told me a tale of the girl having parties, smoking weed, and general mayhem. he said he had to get Kaleb out. ant said he had done no drugs and I believe him, but he was drinking. how can he protect his own son when drinking???? how could he leave his son with a girl he only met weeks ago??
I never slept all night. I let ant stay til the morning (by now 5 hrs later). when his older brother got off work and came home after 3AM...he wanted to go in ant's room and throw him outside but I would not let him. when ant went to work, I called Danielle and told her she had to take Kaleb back today. she said no that it was ant's two weeks and he had only had him a few days. I told her if she does not take Kaleb back, I would try to get custody. ant was once more homeless and was exposing Kaleb to a bad lifestyle and dangerous unstable situations. she hung up on me and said she was not dealing with this right now.
I called a lawyer and once more talked to him about trying to get custody of Kaleb. he said it is rare to be able to remove a child from the parents even when the parents are unfit. he said unless the child has a broken leg or is abandoned with no one at all..CYS would not get involved either. he said if ant showed up even in the middle of the night or if his mom chose to leave him two weeks and then come get him, I would have to relinquish him. I also talked to the police. they said they really could do nothing either. even with a probation violation, (both parents are on probation) it would be a revolving door and the parents would be simply back out in a short time and back with Kaleb. I was not keeping Kaleb and then having to give him up to ant possibly one late night as he left with some other stranger.
I called danielle a couple hrs later and told her she has to get her life together and be a good mom. Kaleb is getting older. I had told her not to send him to ant til ant is sober a long time and has a stable home. she needs to file for support and have ant pay if needed, but not let him alone with Kaleb. ant loves kaleb and would not be mean to him but he gets in bad situations and this child cannot be a part of that. while ant was working I returned Kaleb to his mother and talked again to her.
when ant called I told him Kaleb went home and that is where he must stay til things get better. I told him he cannot come here again. I am done with the late night chaos and would not have been a part of any of it except for Kaleb. ant apologized and cried, he said he is worn out too and doesnt know what he will do or where he will go. I told him to go to his dad's for a few dys. surprizingly his dad took him. Ant is still working daily. He is to move on Sunday to a place near boyfriend's house so he can ride him for work better. (boyfriend's idea).
I am not ever letting ant live here again. I just wish he had never brought a child into his world.
monday and tuesday ant went to work and Kaleb was left with this girl. sigh. against my advice and wishes. Tuesday night I was in bed, and ant called and said I had to go get them. I could hear the girl screaming and sounded like throwing stuff.
I was an hour away from them. It was going on midnight. no way was I driving to that place. then again, my 3 yr old grandson was there. Under extreme duress, I called my ex and told him the situation. amazingly he chose to go get them and deliver them to my house.
they arrived after 1AM. Kaleb in pjs, no coat and clinging to me. ant and his dad left to go back to the apartment and get their clothes, diapers etc. I tucked Kaleb in my bed and he was telling me people were "really mad". when ant returned and my ex left...I had Kaleb to sleep. ant told me a tale of the girl having parties, smoking weed, and general mayhem. he said he had to get Kaleb out. ant said he had done no drugs and I believe him, but he was drinking. how can he protect his own son when drinking???? how could he leave his son with a girl he only met weeks ago??
I never slept all night. I let ant stay til the morning (by now 5 hrs later). when his older brother got off work and came home after 3AM...he wanted to go in ant's room and throw him outside but I would not let him. when ant went to work, I called Danielle and told her she had to take Kaleb back today. she said no that it was ant's two weeks and he had only had him a few days. I told her if she does not take Kaleb back, I would try to get custody. ant was once more homeless and was exposing Kaleb to a bad lifestyle and dangerous unstable situations. she hung up on me and said she was not dealing with this right now.
I called a lawyer and once more talked to him about trying to get custody of Kaleb. he said it is rare to be able to remove a child from the parents even when the parents are unfit. he said unless the child has a broken leg or is abandoned with no one at all..CYS would not get involved either. he said if ant showed up even in the middle of the night or if his mom chose to leave him two weeks and then come get him, I would have to relinquish him. I also talked to the police. they said they really could do nothing either. even with a probation violation, (both parents are on probation) it would be a revolving door and the parents would be simply back out in a short time and back with Kaleb. I was not keeping Kaleb and then having to give him up to ant possibly one late night as he left with some other stranger.
I called danielle a couple hrs later and told her she has to get her life together and be a good mom. Kaleb is getting older. I had told her not to send him to ant til ant is sober a long time and has a stable home. she needs to file for support and have ant pay if needed, but not let him alone with Kaleb. ant loves kaleb and would not be mean to him but he gets in bad situations and this child cannot be a part of that. while ant was working I returned Kaleb to his mother and talked again to her.
when ant called I told him Kaleb went home and that is where he must stay til things get better. I told him he cannot come here again. I am done with the late night chaos and would not have been a part of any of it except for Kaleb. ant apologized and cried, he said he is worn out too and doesnt know what he will do or where he will go. I told him to go to his dad's for a few dys. surprizingly his dad took him. Ant is still working daily. He is to move on Sunday to a place near boyfriend's house so he can ride him for work better. (boyfriend's idea).
I am not ever letting ant live here again. I just wish he had never brought a child into his world.