ant's letter posted

[Sunlight]

http://nevertheless-psst.blogspot.com/2007/02/letter-from-jail.html

a friend posted this on the site he frequents.

I am hoping ant one day remembers this letter he orig mailed to a son of one of our site members. maybe it will help him help himself stay out of jail.

ant is moving this weekend to a town an hour from here. he is to move with a 20 yr old girl. he is still working daily but frazzled and not talking much at all to me. the town is closer to boyfriend and his work. boyfriend has introduced ant to another man who will also help give him work, and has an apartment he can rent by the week. it is not a good area, but ant has run out of rides to work since he lives an hour from where the jobs are scheduled.

if you have time look around the site posted here for other tips and support for families of teen substance abusers and those involved in the juvenile justice system.

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks for the link Janet. I too hope Ant recovers for good.
-RM

 

[PonyGirl]

tears in my eyes as my grateful heart remembers ant's kindness for my son.

wishing i could wrap you both in my arms, janet, you and ant.

may god bless you and keep you.

words fail.

peace

 

[Loris]

What a beautiful letter. I hope soon Ant remembers it and once again takes it to heart. It can help many out there, including my own son.

 

[KFld]

Have you thought about printing this and mailing it to him at his next apartment. Just as a little reminder of how he once felt. Maybe it will give him some hope that he can feel that way again someday.

 

[Sunlight]

karen, he finally called last night and sounded calmer. he asked me if I have anything to use in an apartment. he said he had cooked sauerkraut and pork and it took two days in a crock pot that didnt work well. ugh.

so a tiny step. I must have cleaned out stuff and gathered up apartment stuff for him at least 4 times since he was 18. so I will see if I have a few old pots and pans and some throw rugs or something to pass on. nothing new til he gets more established.

I have the original letter copy. I do have his email addy (I think) and will email him the link to the site.

 

[KFld]

That is a good idea. Both the giving him a few old things to contribute to his apartment, because chances are they will be left behind if he moves again, and the emailing the letter to him.

Sometimes they just need a gentle reminder of how far they can actually come and hopefully he will know he can get there one day again.

 

[Sunlight]

lol Karen I tried two of his email addresses and both came back. he changes his address about as fast as he changes women.

 

[KFld]

Gee, now there's a surprise :smile:

I guess you'll have to wait for his real address and mail him a hardcopy.

 

[Sunlight]

or I could log on and join myspace, get a load of his soft porn pics and see if he is willing to add me as a buddy there. lol and lmao

 

[40andup]

It's a very powerful letter. I made a copy and am sending to my son who is 19 and named Anthony. It just seems so appropiate. His reaching out to help others shows the goodness in is heart. Hopefully you will see much more of that.

 

[Sunlight]

he does have a childlike good side too. in jail he was thinking very clearly as he was sober.

 

[DammitJanet]

Janet...Hope you dont mind that I made a copy of this letter to send to Cory. I think this may be something that might reach him right now considering Kaleb was about the same age that Keyana is now when Ant wrote that letter.

I am going to mail it to him on monday.

 

[Sunlight]

no problem if anyoe wants to print it. I told ant about it being on that site and he actually made a response there too.

 

[KFld]

I just went and read his response. Too bad he doesn't seem to realize how on the edge he is to being free of the shackles of the prison system right now. Hopefully re-reading that will bring back some memories of the reasons he was there in the first place and start moving forward once again.

 

[Sunlight]

karen, his response made me sick. last night I had him to dinner. he had not been here for almost a month. he has gained about a 15 pd beer belly. he is living with another difficult child girl with the piercings, defiance and juvenile record. he brought her to dinner as well. she didnt eat much as she is a beanpole with eating issues.

I hadnt seen Kaleb in a month either. he was with them. I drove them to the apartment as they requested after dinner. it is strewn with many many large sized mostly empty bottles...rum, vodka, and other liquor. sad. not dirty just messy. I had to leave kaleb there too.

this week Kaleb is in town and the new girlfriend that ant met on the internet three weeks ago.. and moved in with two weeks ago...is watching my grandson this week. ((SCREAM))
I was so horrified and kaleb cried and did not want to be left there. I came home and could not sleep all night. so sickening. I have no authority over him.

if he thinks ant is done with the system...he is fooling himself. it is just a matter of time.

 

[KFld]

Sounds like he doesn't consider the alcohol an addiction. He said in his response that he is free of the drugs!!! Hellooooooo????????

His response pretty much summed up that he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong right now. Like you said, if that is how he chooses to live, there isn't a darn thing you can do about it. I just wish they didn't drag kids into this mess.

Speaking of kids, I have seen wingnut's mother down the street taking the baby out of the car and into the house quite often this past week. I have a feeling now that it isn't D.J.'s wingnut won't be as interested in raising her herself and her mother will end up doing it. So sad. These kids should have all been born sterile!!!!

 

[Wishing]

His letter is moving and I want my difficult child son to read it. I like the part where he says how the drugs and alcohol CON you.
Mine just feels it is all fun. I am not sure he is using but I know he has tried the alcohol and pot. Mine is more likely to use alcohol than do pot as he can't stand smoke.Right now I give him a speech about it a few times a week or anytime the subject comes up and each time mine is upset with me that I don't trust him and feels hurt that I would even question that he may be using.

 

[KFld]

My difficult child used to hate smoke too when he was younger, until he started smoking cigarettes and pot. He used to hate when my mother came to visit from Florida because she smoked and he would complain the entire time she was there.

 

[Wishing]

hi this is not the screen name wishing, this is her so-called difficult child, i just wanted to let u know that yes, i am a drinker at parties and stuff, but i do not believe that pot is the end of the world,......i do not smoke pot regularly, but ihave tried it, it is just a phase which is what i see in my friends, my mom flips out a lot about it, its something that these days, parents dont understand, if ur gonna get thru to us kids about it, let them try it but do not encourage it, they will be exposed very easily(itd easier to get pot than alcohol these days) but u cannot just blow up at them, u have to let the pase pass, if u dont push ur kids away by yelling at them, they will listen to u, if u softly say could u plz think about what it does for u......not(g2g my mom is coming)