ant's letter posted


Warrior Parent
Ah, yes....I remember well the phrase my difficult child ('so-called' - I like that) used on me:

"If you had just given me money and let me do what I wanted, none of this would've happened."

Yeah. And he'd most likely have died of an overdose.

Sorry, Wishing-difficult child, but parents are always going to flip out a lot about it. Believe it or not, we were all teenagers once, ourselves.



Active Member
dear wishing's child:
for ant it was not a phase. he started pot at age 13, moved onto ecstacy, coke, crack, heroin, LSD, special K, vicodin and oxycontin abuse, meth, you name the drug, he tried it. he injected heroin into his wrist at age 18 and spent two days in the hospital from the overdose.

his drug use led him all over the USA living homeless in dangereous situations, getting sexually transmitted disease, and fathering Kaleb...who is now 3 and living on welfare.

drugs led him to drink underage and he got three DUIs. that lead to over two yrs in adult jail.

drugs got him over 10,000.00 in fines and he has lost his license til he is 34 so he has to beg rides anywhere he wants to go. he must work and pay fines or he will go back to jail.

so it is not a phase. I love him. I tried to stop him like standing in front of a train moving fast. no luck.

I sent him to three schools, three psychiatric grps, had friends in for him, paid whatever it took, prayed and cared for him and now his son as well. I never screamed at him, I cried and begged and stood by him. I wiped the blood off him several times when he was beat up while high.

pot is the start of something very scarey and some people cannot stop once they start.

my son is now 24, he works daily and lives in his own apartment but he is hanging by a financial thread. he once had a full paid college scholarship including room board and books. drugs took that too. he is smart, from a nice neighborhood.

your mom might yell because she is terrified about where this might take her child one day. I know it is easy to get, heck I was a child of the 70's. doesnt mean you need to go down that path.

one day you will have a child you love more than your own life and you will also do what it takes to protect them. so I now say to you as softly as I used to say to lil ant:

could u plz think about what it does for u???

saving grace

New Member
I ditto Antsmom.

"pot" was the first step and many steps my son has climbed. He once said to me "I am only smoking a joint, its not like I am shooting dope or anything" He is now a heroin addict. My son once said the same things to me about his pot use. And like Ant he has a long list of things that have happened as a result of his drug use, things that have changed his life forever.

Please reconsider your approach to this.



New Member
Wishing's difficult child, Listen to you mom. There is no one else on this planet that has your best intrests at heart more than she does.
FYI, The Pot today doesn't compare to the pot of the 70's-80's. It is much more potent and often laced with other ingredients that will speed up and prolong the high thus making addiction more probable.

You want to rebel? Get off your duff and go advocate for something worthwhile like global warming, the end of the war in Iraq, the decriminalizarion of mental health. There are plenty of positive ways of rebelling. Getting lost in drugs and becomming ambivilaent to the world around you isn't one of them!

P.S. I too am a child of the 70's. I never used drugs and would not allow them in my apartment. My brain is just fine without them thankyou.


Roll With It
Janet you have probably thought of this, but it just hit me. Is ant afraid of being free of the prison or sober house kind of places? When he is in his own apt he has to actively make ALL the choices. I just think this must be scary to him.

It doesn't excuse ANY of his actions, but it might lend some understanding?

Big hugs,



Active Member
susie, ant is terrified and filled with dread of prison or any control.

he loves his apartment and choosing stuff, cooking dinner, paying his bills etc.

the alcohol owns him and it takes him back to jail. not his choice.