S
stressbunny
Guest
Hi all,
This is my first post. I'm feeling quite defeated today. I'm the adoptive mom of two ADHD/ODD boys, ages 15 and 7.
Today, I learned that my oldest boy stole an I-pod from another boy at school. I'm so upset, I can hardly stand it. He is suspended for several days from school, but we were told that this is getting off easy; the school could have opted to call the police. He lied to us and said he had found the I-pod, turned it in to the school office and that days later, the owner had not been located, so the school said he could have it. He told the principal another completely different story. We were all suspicious, and he then admitted to taking it.
A couple of months ago, my oldest also used the school computer to go to an internet game site, where he was playing games instead of doing his drafting assignment for class. This resulted in his being suspended from using school computers for 45 days. Unfortunately, he was also unable to use the computer software for his drafting assignments, so he had to work on them by hand, tediously for hours after school.
I want him to be held accountable. Yet, I know he is not otherwise a really mean child. He does things impulsively all the time, without considering the consequences. He always seems to feel very sorry after the fact, but by then, it's too late. I don't want to be a parent who defends every wrong thing my kid does. I will say, though, that having kids with disabilities gives me a completely different perspective - one the world is missing, for the most part.
My son is taking Concerta, and that helps, but not completely. Academically, he is doing fine.
My question: Are any services/accomodations under a 504 plan helpful for an ADHD freshman boy in this situation? His problems relate to his behavioral choices and impulsive actions, but academically, he's doing alright. His teachers like him, and his ADHD and ODD symptoms have actually improved over the last several years, overall. Could something be put in place to give him more opportunities to take responsibility for his actions before police involvement, etc.?
The thought of the police getting involved scares me. I don't want my son to end up with a record over this. He is genuinely sorry for his behavior and will be paying to replace the Ipod. He cried about this, but yet, I am doubtful that he will be able to completely control his impulses in the future. This problem will probably resurface in another way, and next time, he'll be facing worse consequences, I'm sure.
I waffle between being angry and upset with him and feeling sorry for how little self control he seems to have.
I'm tired of the scrutiny I receive as a parent of ADHD kids. Everyone judges and points fingers, but no one lifts a finger to help either. It is demoralizing. I just want to do something to fix this problem, but it doesn't work that way.
It's been a really tough day. Please help,
StressBunny
This is my first post. I'm feeling quite defeated today. I'm the adoptive mom of two ADHD/ODD boys, ages 15 and 7.
Today, I learned that my oldest boy stole an I-pod from another boy at school. I'm so upset, I can hardly stand it. He is suspended for several days from school, but we were told that this is getting off easy; the school could have opted to call the police. He lied to us and said he had found the I-pod, turned it in to the school office and that days later, the owner had not been located, so the school said he could have it. He told the principal another completely different story. We were all suspicious, and he then admitted to taking it.
A couple of months ago, my oldest also used the school computer to go to an internet game site, where he was playing games instead of doing his drafting assignment for class. This resulted in his being suspended from using school computers for 45 days. Unfortunately, he was also unable to use the computer software for his drafting assignments, so he had to work on them by hand, tediously for hours after school.
I want him to be held accountable. Yet, I know he is not otherwise a really mean child. He does things impulsively all the time, without considering the consequences. He always seems to feel very sorry after the fact, but by then, it's too late. I don't want to be a parent who defends every wrong thing my kid does. I will say, though, that having kids with disabilities gives me a completely different perspective - one the world is missing, for the most part.
My son is taking Concerta, and that helps, but not completely. Academically, he is doing fine.
My question: Are any services/accomodations under a 504 plan helpful for an ADHD freshman boy in this situation? His problems relate to his behavioral choices and impulsive actions, but academically, he's doing alright. His teachers like him, and his ADHD and ODD symptoms have actually improved over the last several years, overall. Could something be put in place to give him more opportunities to take responsibility for his actions before police involvement, etc.?
The thought of the police getting involved scares me. I don't want my son to end up with a record over this. He is genuinely sorry for his behavior and will be paying to replace the Ipod. He cried about this, but yet, I am doubtful that he will be able to completely control his impulses in the future. This problem will probably resurface in another way, and next time, he'll be facing worse consequences, I'm sure.
I waffle between being angry and upset with him and feeling sorry for how little self control he seems to have.
I'm tired of the scrutiny I receive as a parent of ADHD kids. Everyone judges and points fingers, but no one lifts a finger to help either. It is demoralizing. I just want to do something to fix this problem, but it doesn't work that way.
It's been a really tough day. Please help,
StressBunny