Anyone know anything about anorexia?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It is in my family plus I have a good friend with an eating disorder, but the friend is bulemic and very kind. She has never been severely underweight

    Does anyone know if the mental illness of anorexia go hand in hand with a sort of narcicistic obsession with their looks? Why do they over excersize even when they are already emaciated? Do they tend to be nitpicky and critical toward others?

    I have read it runs in families. I believe it. Two family members (at least) in my very small family. One was an uncle, now deceased. I never liked him and once went a decade or more without seeing him. When I saw him again I was shocked at how gaunt and drawn he looked. He had lost tons and looked sickly. He had once been fairly handsome...a man who delighted in juggling various girlfriends and hurting a few badly. The other anorexic is still alive. The person does not think the person is sick with anorexic, but looks emaciated. I have almost never seen this person eat. Big over exercisor. Wakes up way early seven days a week to do rigerous workout 2 1/2 hours a day. If weighs over 100 pounds, diets. Looks way too gaunt, but thinks others are jealous because is thin, but I doubt it. Not when one is that thin. It doesnt look normal.

    Why do anorexics love to cook for others but wont eat? Any insight? What about controlling others? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?

    I used to think one got over anorexia, but I know now that it seems to be a lifelong struggle. A sad one.

    Thanks for any insight, if anyone has some. If none, thanks for at least reading this. Have a great day:)
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2017
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Anorexia is a mental illness. You control it but are always Anorexic. It is a dispamcemt of emotional control, unresolved issues and requires intensive therapy.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Neither relative ever addressed it. It is still active in living relative. Deceased relative, in spite of running 20 miles a day, died pretty young at 72. I hear he ate a peculiar diet.

    Oh, well. Sad, but then mental illness probably impedes living person's relationships. Person makes very self sabataging life choices and is always diagnosing others with person's own mental illness ideas. No wonder. Sad.

    Thank you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
  4. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I don't think anorexic people are narcissistic. The couple I have known have been very down on themselves and never thought they were attractive. I still remember a woman I encountered at the bar exam. She was clearly emaciated. She left the room in the middle of the test and never came back. 45 minutes later, the proctor asked everyone to be quiet. We then heard scratching noises at the door and soft moaning. The poor woman was so weak that she collapsed outside the door and couldn't even open it. Two guys carried her in and an ambulance was called. I never saw her again but over 30 years later, I still think about her.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree there is low self esteem. But there seems to be a need with this person to be told she is beautiful. She is late 50s and although attractive for her age...beautiful is not the same as when we were 30.
     
  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Anorexia is a severe neurocpsychococial disorder. It is a very tough MH issue for people to manage because it is something we all must redo to survive, we must eat.

    I worked in a hospital as a volunteer and the anorexia group meeting was taking place. The therapist gave the participants a piece of chalk and asked each one to draw what they felt was a chalk outline of themselves. She then brought a mirror around and had each one stand in front of their outline. These emasculated people all saw themselves as grotesquely huge. They attempt to control their lives my controlling their food and project their issue onto their physical being and suffer great dysmophia. Seeing someone struggling to eat and being so frail and weak is very heart wrenching. Many are self mutilators as well.

    My sons past girlfriend was annotexic, a self mutilator and a drug user. Her parents have no insurance for therapy so they don’t take her for any. There are free clinics they could access and they don’t. Don’t get me wrong these people live in a beautiful home and have good income. Hey are self employed and refuse to purchase extended Heath insurance. I feel very badly for this girl.
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It is honestly very sad. I have people (more than one) close to me who have it. I don't think it ever goes away.

    Long before it was known that men can have it, my uncle was a normally handsome guy who overexercised, and maybe ate funny, but I didn't know him well. Maybe a decade later, after I had not seen him, he was at my mother's funeral and I was shocked at how he looked. He must have lost 20-30 pounds and looked like a skeleton. He was not young at the time, but he wasn't super old either or frail looking. He just looked emaciated.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is such an ugly disease. I learned a lot about it as a child. My grandmother and one aunt kept insisting I had it. I did not, but no matter what I ate, I didn't gain weight. I read a lot about it, and about bulimia, because I kept hearing the word and being told I had to be. I wanted to know what it was.

    I have known a number of people with either anorexia or bulimia. It is really sad to watch them. Oddly enough, every person I know with either anorexia or bulimia is also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. So far 80% are in recovery and not active in their disease, a state they only gained after serious therapy for the abuse. Those who are still actively sick are those who have refused to get any help for their abuse.

    I don't believe that all people with these disorders have been sexually abused. I do believe that something is wrong and that often it is a way to assert control after they were made to feel hugely powerless and vulnerable and terrified. Their food is the only thing they can control, so they control it absolutely. It is hard for those around them to understand and cope with. I had an incredibly tough time with the roommate who had bulimia. Living with her was NOT a good experience.

    Of course this is just what I have observed.
     
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Interesting. I know one person who seems to have this tendency/leaning. Fortunately, I would not say he is truly anorexic, but he eats very little daily and if upset, eats less. He is about 5-10 pounds underweight. He also has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies. On the positive side, if he has a food in front of him that he perceives as healthy and he truly loves the way it is prepared (a rarity...as it has to be both healthy and unusually delicious) he will eat it heartily and not attempt to purge or anything like that. It has been concerning to watch this though. Lots of food restrictions .