Are you a people person, an introvert/loner, or a little bit of both?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Jun 29, 2012.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Are you comfortable around people?

    All my life I've avoided cliques because of their nastiness (my perception) and have to really push myself to socialize. At times I like to go out and talk to people, like at the gym or in a coffee shop, but after an hour or so I've had's stressful...and I just want to go home.

    My sister is an extreme extrovert. She will even put up with people she doesn't like in order to have a night out with a crowd.

    So where do YOU stand in this?

    I thought I'd do a light thread to take our minds off our :)
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am only a "people person" with people I know very well and depending on who they are, the length varies. In strange situations, I avoid them or become a wall flower. When in a public place, even when I was in school, I prefer the back of the room or my back to the wall. I hate unknown, and some known, people being behind me.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I'm a little bit of both...depends on my mood and environment and the people. That said, my daughters tell me that I'm embarrassing at times because I talk to strangers, lol!
  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I am a people person to a point. I am good one on one or in small groups. I love company, but there are times when I value my alone time too. I don't do well in groups larger than three. Sometimes a bunch of us girls go out to lunch and I'm usually the quietest one there. I don't like to compete for conversation, and it seems like somebody is always talking over me or they never hear me when I say something. It's easiest for me to just be quiet and listen to others around me. Sometimes it gets annoying because I really want to interject and say something and someone else always beats me to it. So yes, I love to be around people, but not in groups.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ehhhh hmmm. I'm not exactly sure.

    If I'm working and it's in a "people oriented" environment, you'd never dream I wasn't a class A people person who thrived on social interaction. But I learned to do this, it's sort of like putting on a coat or part of the uniform.

    I don't like large groups of people. It annoys me 90 percent of the time and I can't really stand it for long periods unless I'm working. (and then I have to go home and wind down) It's a sensory thing more than a social thing. Personally.........I could probably be a hermit though and not mind very much. I used to like people individually more when I was I find them to be far too bold, rude, and tactless.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Interesting... I am mostly a loner. I don't meet people I don't already know... Posting here for the first time (OMG, 3+ years ago?!) was a HUGE stretch for me. It says how worried I was. I found this site because of Onyxx... And now it's a lifeline. But, still, I can do it BY MYSELF. I love my friends, but I can't spend lots of time around any number of people. Right now, with 5 people in my house I am overwhelmed. I'm great at customer service (as I've been told ad infinitum) but I hate it. I work best alone.

    But then... Sometimes I NEED other people... But not for long!
  7. musiclady

    musiclady New Member

    I am an introvert. I have few friends, but the ones I do are really go ones and some I'd known for ever. I like to see people one on one or in a small group, but after a few hours or half a day I NEED to relax and decompress. I hate confrontation and don't like tenssion.
  8. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty much a loner. I have a FEW close friends who I enjoy seeing occasionally and I do attend a few groups like book club, etc. I am not somebody who just wants to shut the door and never see anybody but a little company goes a long way. I've always thought it might partially be because I am an only child and grew up on a farm away from bunches of people but probably it is also my basic personality and I would have been like this anyway. I don't mind being in large groups of people, as long as they don't expect me to interact with them. I enjoy going to a few things but I always look forward to coming home and having peace and quiet.
  9. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I'm middle ground. I like to be in groups and meet people. I do however need my alone time to function. And while I'm often chatty, especially with people I don't know that well, I'm more an observer at heart. I have lots of acquaintances and casual friends, but very few close friends and I'm not that good at sharing my deeper thoughts.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ever wonder how many of us were extroverts at some level... until we ended up with a difficult child?
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I read somewhere that the biggest distiinguishing factor for an introvert and extrovert stems from what makes you feel re-energized. I enjoy socializing with a group of people if I know them- like at an office party if I like most of the people. But that type of socializing does make me feel tired whereas I need "my time" alone to regroup and get a second wind so I have to say I am an introvert. Plus, I prefer to work alone and feel drained at the end of the day if I've had to listen to others talk all day long.
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. Interesting. I wonder if many of us come here because we'd rather write to people than tell our "friends" often who poo-poo what we say (family as well).

    I'm like a few of you. As friendly as I am to strangers, like the cashier at the store and the person in front of me at a grocery line, nobody would ever know what a struggle it is for me to be in a crowd. I've also excelled in sales, HOWEVER I believe that selling a product is different from forming a relationship.

    Can't speak for anyone else, but I was pretty much a loner all of my life, way before I had kids. If anything, my kids forced me to meet a lot of people I would never have met if I had been childless, even the ones who had/have problems.
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    MWM - right there with you. I've never been much of a people person. You'd never know, but... Yeah.

    The kids have actually drawn me out, more than anything...
  14. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    I tend to be a people person; in fact my husband might quote Ralph Kramden(Jackie Gleason) in that regard " You're a blabbbbbbbbbermouth!" :) I do tend to be a bit cautious in new situations, however
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    To take our mind off of our troubles? Lol! Okay, I'll bite.
    You and I are like my little sister and I. She looks at a room filled with-strangers and gets sooo excited about talking to all of them and making friends. I think, How far is it to the buffet, and do I have to talk to anyone on the way there, and can I avoid everyone on the way back out of the door?

    If you meet me in a coffee shop to talk about our g's fg, I'm all ears and all talk. It's one-on-one and a topic near and dear to my heart.
    But afterward, I'll roam around a bookstore by myself, or go home and work in the garden. Definitely more of an introvert.

    Step, yes, my kids have drawn me out, too. You HAVE to talk to teachers and doctors, and when it's your kid, it's way more interesting than just "talk." :)
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I am half and half, often depends on my mood. I nearly always can end up talking to someone in a waiting room or at a pool, etc. and usually find something in common. I would never go to a reunion from high school but would go to a smaller party with just my close friends from school and though it would cause anxiety I would go and eventually settle in and have a good time. I am like TeDoand TerryJ2 if it is one on one or a small group of people who have similar interests or situations to mine, I do best. I truly care about people and like to be of service, sometimes strangers who you never will see again can be a real bright spot.

    I have worked hard to get over social anxiety though, and it is more in these last years when I dont have the adult contact I used to get from work, I have had to push myself to talk to other people and make friends in other settings. I could easily isolate and become depressed so I do much better when I push myself out of the house, volunteer or at least hang out when Q is doing things and talk to other people who are waiting.
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2012
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If you just saw me in a store or in a waiting room or back when I was working, you would have probably thought I was fairly outgoing because I can put on my "public" persona. Even here I have a role that I play. Very few people know the real me. Truthfully its very hard for me to be out around people. I feel vulnerable and the more stressed I am the worse that gets.
  18. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am a people person and can walk into a room full of strangers and take the podium with-o fear. on the other hand I do not share deep feelings with most people....just a very few trusted friends or relatives. Does that make me an ambivert? Can't remember, lol. DDD
  19. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I love my alone time and need my time in the garden and love my time with my dog, I enjoy being with a close friend and going out and doing things. When I go to bingo and I have a group of friends there, I am wishing that I could get past them and go play bingo by myself, sometimes I feel like I have to sit with them. But if I do sit with them i generally have a good time. I speak publicly and don't get nervous or afraid to do it. it's part of my job or something I am passionate about then, I do it. I think I lean to the introvert side definately. I could be in the house for 4 days and not see anyone and be perfectly fine with it. I think an extrovert would go crazy mad.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911

    For the most part? I'm very okay being by myself..but when I'm with others? my personality is a range of things that seems to seek out and encourages people to be a part and be their best THAT is what I like about being in groups.

    In that? Im neither and both.