hi
So yup we are arguing over thanksgiving boyfriend and i!! Ahh gotta love the holidays such a warm and loving time!!! LOL NOT!!!
So, here's the deal, boyfriend doesn't have his kids this year, it's his first thanksgiving with-o them. We lucked out last year and had them, we spent the day at his dad's house for thanksgiving. It worked only because all 5 kids were together, so mine didn't feel totally out of place. Yet last year around this time difficult child crashed hard, went into some major depressive state hence her need for immediate crisis intervention was needed, etc. we went from a high to a low within seemed liked seconds!
So, with that being said i'm a little shakey about putting difficult child into a situation this thanksgiving that may potentially freak her out to be blunt. So, my parents are doing dinner out with-my brother for thanksgiving back home roughly 70 miles away, and boyfriend's dad is hosting thanksgiving again (with boyfriend as usual cooking the turkey?). And did i mention boyfriend's family is pushing him to go.
So, delimna is this, do I A. go to my parents with kids for thanksgiving so difficult child is around familiar faces (she doesn't really get on with his family), she barely talks to mine takes her time to warm up. Don't place her in uncomfortable situation with ppl she doens't know that well.
or do I b. just say ok difficult child just deal we are going to boyfriend's for thanksgiving, no we won't have the kids it'll just be us. She'll be miserable I just know it. She'll be clingy and uncomfortable all day long and lost there. Not to mention easy child who will be miserable also there.
I'm so confused. boyfriend has on more than one occassion said he'll "do the right thing" and just to go my family's house. Yet he has strongly stated how he doens't want to go and would rather spend it with his family who he doens't get to see due to his ridiculous work hours (soo not my fault!).
So, you know me i'm like "buddy, don't do me any favors!" go where you want to go! That's the "nasty" Jen in me. yup there certainly is one!
In all honesty i don't want to split us up for thanksgiving i think that would be wrong, wrong message to send to kids, wrong for us. we are trying to be a family, we are trying to make our union work. Yet he is being so difficult I want to shake him by continously saying how he wants to be with his dad for thanksgiving like a 2 year old!!! Meanwhile back on the ranch we did thanksgiving with them last year. So, I don't think it's fair.
OK so what do you guys think?? and don't hold back
P.S. we were trying to find soup kitchen to work in with kids for thanksgiving yet weren't able to find one. He keeps telling me I said ok to his sister's house if soup kitchen didn't work out. 'I'm not sure if that's my lack of memory, him lying, or my "selective" memory LOL
So yup we are arguing over thanksgiving boyfriend and i!! Ahh gotta love the holidays such a warm and loving time!!! LOL NOT!!!
So, here's the deal, boyfriend doesn't have his kids this year, it's his first thanksgiving with-o them. We lucked out last year and had them, we spent the day at his dad's house for thanksgiving. It worked only because all 5 kids were together, so mine didn't feel totally out of place. Yet last year around this time difficult child crashed hard, went into some major depressive state hence her need for immediate crisis intervention was needed, etc. we went from a high to a low within seemed liked seconds!
So, with that being said i'm a little shakey about putting difficult child into a situation this thanksgiving that may potentially freak her out to be blunt. So, my parents are doing dinner out with-my brother for thanksgiving back home roughly 70 miles away, and boyfriend's dad is hosting thanksgiving again (with boyfriend as usual cooking the turkey?). And did i mention boyfriend's family is pushing him to go.
So, delimna is this, do I A. go to my parents with kids for thanksgiving so difficult child is around familiar faces (she doesn't really get on with his family), she barely talks to mine takes her time to warm up. Don't place her in uncomfortable situation with ppl she doens't know that well.
or do I b. just say ok difficult child just deal we are going to boyfriend's for thanksgiving, no we won't have the kids it'll just be us. She'll be miserable I just know it. She'll be clingy and uncomfortable all day long and lost there. Not to mention easy child who will be miserable also there.
I'm so confused. boyfriend has on more than one occassion said he'll "do the right thing" and just to go my family's house. Yet he has strongly stated how he doens't want to go and would rather spend it with his family who he doens't get to see due to his ridiculous work hours (soo not my fault!).
So, you know me i'm like "buddy, don't do me any favors!" go where you want to go! That's the "nasty" Jen in me. yup there certainly is one!
In all honesty i don't want to split us up for thanksgiving i think that would be wrong, wrong message to send to kids, wrong for us. we are trying to be a family, we are trying to make our union work. Yet he is being so difficult I want to shake him by continously saying how he wants to be with his dad for thanksgiving like a 2 year old!!! Meanwhile back on the ranch we did thanksgiving with them last year. So, I don't think it's fair.
OK so what do you guys think?? and don't hold back
P.S. we were trying to find soup kitchen to work in with kids for thanksgiving yet weren't able to find one. He keeps telling me I said ok to his sister's house if soup kitchen didn't work out. 'I'm not sure if that's my lack of memory, him lying, or my "selective" memory LOL