Great article, RE. I wish I had estranged my mother as soon as I married and cut off my sister forever once she called the police on me the third time. Both were unkind to me with mental health issues but no awareness and I would have recovered faster without that dysfunction if I had walked away.
Nobody did that back then though. My therapists, who told me I was being abused never suggested just saying good bye. But my mother eventually said good bye to ME which was also unusual at the time, but actually did me much good. My life has gone steadily upwards since then and she was not around to treat my kids like trash and play favorites. Plus she stopped influencing me. I believe that she had Borderline (BPD). She was seriously an erratic, mean and abusive woman to me as her scapegoat.