dstc_99
Well-Known Member
Well we managed graduation night as best as possible and I decided since it could well be the last time we see difficult child for a while that we ought to try and talk to her about reality after she turns 18. We decided to meet with her and the grands for breakfast and try to have a serious conversation. So we show up to breakfast to find out that she had spent half the night in the ER because she passed out from dehydration. Apparantly that happens when you don't eat for over 24 hours! Anyway I was irked because we were in town and no one called us but I didn't say anything and decided to let it go. Obviously neither she nor my parents felt we needed to be involved so why should I?
Anyway on to the point...
The grands proceeded to keep up the "lets pretend this never happened facade" and act as if nothing has happened. I ignored it for a while and just kept my mouth shut. I basically let husband field all their "hows the weather" questions. Seriously I didnt drive 2.5 hours to sit here and discuss the dang weather. So at one point husband decided enough with the BS and pointed out that her first year of college was covered but she needed to apply for federal work study programs or get a job in order to have living money. Of couse difficult child immediately agrees to the work study programs and says she will apply. This just made me laugh inside because she has been there for 4 months now and still hasnt applied for a job, hasn't filled out a single scholarship application, and cant be bothered to do anything other than get ****** at us when we don't hand over the cash she wants. She helps out my dad at his office a few times a month but thats it. SURE I am buying it that difficult child will apply for the work study program. I wanted to ask if I had MORON tatooed on my forehead.
In less than two months difficult child has to start paying her car insurance and cell phone bill but she still hasn't even started trying to figure out how to pay that. Of course as soon as my mom heard that difficult child was going to need to pay $150 a month for cell and insurance she started in with the whole "that's alot to handle while going to school" ****. I didn't even blink, I said "well we are giving her $35 a week to use for gas and necessities which equals $140 a month so earning $10 bucks shouldn't be that hard." Of course then she will have to find another way to pay for gas and necessities but she is living on campus with meals paid for and she can walk to all her classes. All she has to do is earn enough to pay for deodorant, shampoo, and clothes. That shut my mom up even though I could tell she wasn't happy about it. She seems to have forgotten that I worked almost 40 hours a week my freshman year of college to pay for dance lessons and extras. She also seems to have forgotten that husband worked 40 hours a week for his college to pay for his education.
By this point difficult child was trying to do what she always does which is avoid the issues. She jokingly said "well I guess I can apply at Taco Bell." I think she thought I was going to say you poor baby that work is to hard for you, but when I looked her in the eye and said thats a good idea she wasn't happy. She would be alot smarter if she got a job at a large coorporation like WalMart, Taco Bell, or McDonalds because then she could transfer to the college location easier.
I also found out my brother told difficult child we were going in together to buy her a laptop. Something we had discussed but never finalized but now she has picked out a $1500 laptop and regardless of what we decide he will get it for her. He's single and makes good money so it wont hurt him to do it but I hate the idea of her getting everything she wants without doing anything for it. My brother also mentioned having a little sit down with us and the grands to discuss how we were going to pay for her education after this year. I told him I am happy to discuss it but she has to earn it. I am not going to help if she is still treating us like **** or if she is pulling in poor grades. He atleast agreed to the grades being a deciding factor but I am pretty sure he feels like the treatment is a non issue. Of course it is for him difficult child treats him like a God because he buys her whatever she wants.
Anyway on to the point...
The grands proceeded to keep up the "lets pretend this never happened facade" and act as if nothing has happened. I ignored it for a while and just kept my mouth shut. I basically let husband field all their "hows the weather" questions. Seriously I didnt drive 2.5 hours to sit here and discuss the dang weather. So at one point husband decided enough with the BS and pointed out that her first year of college was covered but she needed to apply for federal work study programs or get a job in order to have living money. Of couse difficult child immediately agrees to the work study programs and says she will apply. This just made me laugh inside because she has been there for 4 months now and still hasnt applied for a job, hasn't filled out a single scholarship application, and cant be bothered to do anything other than get ****** at us when we don't hand over the cash she wants. She helps out my dad at his office a few times a month but thats it. SURE I am buying it that difficult child will apply for the work study program. I wanted to ask if I had MORON tatooed on my forehead.
In less than two months difficult child has to start paying her car insurance and cell phone bill but she still hasn't even started trying to figure out how to pay that. Of course as soon as my mom heard that difficult child was going to need to pay $150 a month for cell and insurance she started in with the whole "that's alot to handle while going to school" ****. I didn't even blink, I said "well we are giving her $35 a week to use for gas and necessities which equals $140 a month so earning $10 bucks shouldn't be that hard." Of course then she will have to find another way to pay for gas and necessities but she is living on campus with meals paid for and she can walk to all her classes. All she has to do is earn enough to pay for deodorant, shampoo, and clothes. That shut my mom up even though I could tell she wasn't happy about it. She seems to have forgotten that I worked almost 40 hours a week my freshman year of college to pay for dance lessons and extras. She also seems to have forgotten that husband worked 40 hours a week for his college to pay for his education.
By this point difficult child was trying to do what she always does which is avoid the issues. She jokingly said "well I guess I can apply at Taco Bell." I think she thought I was going to say you poor baby that work is to hard for you, but when I looked her in the eye and said thats a good idea she wasn't happy. She would be alot smarter if she got a job at a large coorporation like WalMart, Taco Bell, or McDonalds because then she could transfer to the college location easier.
I also found out my brother told difficult child we were going in together to buy her a laptop. Something we had discussed but never finalized but now she has picked out a $1500 laptop and regardless of what we decide he will get it for her. He's single and makes good money so it wont hurt him to do it but I hate the idea of her getting everything she wants without doing anything for it. My brother also mentioned having a little sit down with us and the grands to discuss how we were going to pay for her education after this year. I told him I am happy to discuss it but she has to earn it. I am not going to help if she is still treating us like **** or if she is pulling in poor grades. He atleast agreed to the grades being a deciding factor but I am pretty sure he feels like the treatment is a non issue. Of course it is for him difficult child treats him like a God because he buys her whatever she wants.