Hi, I'm new to this group. I was researching some thoughts I had about my 26 yr old son,and came across this site. I have 2 adult children. My daughter isn't my problem,she will be 22 this month. We have some issues,but nothing like my son and I have. My son is totally disrepects me and causes alot of problems in the family unit. He has been a handful since he was little. He was diagnosed with add and a learning disability at the age of 5yrs. After alot of crap from his father we finally placed him on medications for the add. This helped him in school,but it still was hard at home. I was not planning to have any other children,because he was such a mess and I was dealing with him you mays well say on my own. My husband always has driven a truck for a living. My mom helped when she could. My husband instead of being a dad and being stern,he told him he was his buddy. Then if course I was the bad person. I lost a child between my son and daughter. Didn't realize I was pregnant. My son has always all about "ME"! Like my mom called him a me baby. There 5 yrs between my kids. Things just got worse because my daughter also had issues,didn't sleep but 2-3 hrs a night and had sever separation anxiety. I had both kids on medications. I wasn't getting any sleep and dealing with everything. I had no support from my husband at all. I spent my life ay school for both of these kids. When my son hit 13 you mays well say the you know what hit the fan. He just didn't want to listen at all. Started getting in troublle at school,he was in the ARD this was ti help with his learning issues. He started stealing small things from the houses,lieing and things just went on from there. His 9th grade yr he got caught with bars(zanx,spelling maybe wrong),anyway I got a phone call from the school district police. Telling me I could come and pick him up. I was totally devasted,ashamed felt like a total failure. I didn't even know how to tell my family. His father was out of town the day it happened. I went and got him and I didn't know what to stay to him other than I was so disappointed in him. We had to get him an Attorney. When we went to court,the da wanted to throw the book at him. This was a first offence. They put him(and of course me to) on 6 months of probation and 100 hrs.of community service. He was scared when in front of the judge. When we finally left there,he was back to himself. He was also ordered to do 6 months of a drup program. I put him in the Palmer Drug abuse program. For about a yr while he was in the program things were going really well. Then when he ageg out of the younger group.he didnt want to go to the older group. PDAP were the only functions he was aloud to do. Until he aged out and would have to go to the older group,he wouldn't go. It didn't make any difference about the boundries that were set,je would cause prblems when his dad was gone . He has stolen a diamond ring that was a 3ct.diamond ring belonging to my grandmother,my diamond earring,rings.he had the gual to give a young lady one og my rings and necklaces,he said he both for her.if he didnt get his way he made lifr hell for my daughter and I. We havent been a family,not ever. Any place I went wi t h him or anything,I worried what was going to happen next.He got to big for me to deal with getting him to school.I'm 5'8" and hes6'2.the only way he graduated was because I stayed home so a home teacher could come in 2 days a week. All he wanted to di us sleep and party with his so called buddies. They graduated him out og courtsey. So long as he could live off of us then he didn't give a rats you know what. No interested in getting his liscences,didn't want to work,just being lazy. I battled with this young man eveyday. It made no difference what I did,nothing Motivated him to do anything. He has destoyed my home.there are wholes inmy walls,doors jams are all messed up. You ask him to cut the grass,he wanted to be paid before hand. That wasn't going to happen,becausr the grass wouldnt get cut. I onldoes it when it suites him. Ive come home and Im not stupid that I dont know what pot smells like.all wirh other drug paraphernalia. He stills movies,anything he think he can get money for drugs. The police in precint 4 know who we are by name. I have kicked him out 2 didn't times,even helped h and his girl get into an apt.she just upped and left and went back to her parents,who raise her 2 children.Thats another story in its self. His father goes and gets him and tells him he has 1 month,well that turns into a yr plus. My husband and I have never been on the same page. Everything falls on me and all of this has fallen on my shoulders. It has taken alot of emotional stress on me with alot of depression and sleep issues. Police have been to our home so many times,our neighbors do not even talk to us. He starts things with anyone when he comes home drunk,which we've told him not to come home. His month overrides his butt. We bought him a tabley for christmas,he says something was wrong with it.Exchanged it for 1 less expensive. Haven't seen the tablet since. He gets mad when he's askef about it. There's so much more. M u husband will not do what needs to be done. Our son knows his father will cover for him. If O could my daughter and I would of already left I haven't worked enough out in the workfield. It seems like nothing Ive done for my kids was right. So long as Dad does what he does.why should my son leave. Like a councilor said,they are like a bottom feeder,if they dont need to get up why should they.have everything they need right there As far as Im concerned he should of been on his own when he was at least 19 or 20. He's lazy,unless its to go out with his girls and go drinking(always on someone elses money) I didn't raise him this way. Very selfish young man His sister has had to get in the midfle of us,because he will go after me. I had to lock myself in my room on several different times.Along with keeping mu purse and anything valuable locked up. He has cut his wrists on several occassions,he's scared for life, since he is over the age of 18 he cant be made to do anything. My marriage has been over for the last 5yrs plus. My husband wont stand with me and make our son leave our home. He helps with nothing unless he gets paid for it,bided wepay for everything anyway. As far as Im concerned I am No longer A parent,Im Mom.I'll be here for u with unconditional Love,listen and If I can Help . if I can't then I can't. His father is just the opposite. My husband had a problem about lying to me about things which. Hasn't help the problem easier There are some days if I could just sleep.I would sleep the day away. There's more.but I think I better end here for now. Thanks for Listening to me rant and rave you name it!