I mean, is this a thing? I've read up on it some and it's apparently a very controversial topic. My Difficult Child grandchild is still having a hard time (a recent suspension from school for physically attacking another child), refusal to do school work in school, and I don't even want to get into the homework negotiations that have to happen for one little page. His teacher is the ninja of patience, but even she's getting worn down. I get it, I'm a teacher too and some of these kids can just wear you out after awhile. Academically he's fine, but behaviorally, especially at his father and stepmother's house (with three kids that she brought into the marriage and a one year old of their own, plus my two grandkids). The custody is shared 50/50 during the week and has been very stable for two years, as far as the back and forth, etc. Everyone lives very close together, so it's been easy (with a lot of support from my husband and myself around babysitting, which we don't mind at all). Our Difficult Child has always cycled between more and less regulated--one bad week with two okay weeks. Not that regular, but definite cycling. But when I look at the description of bi polar, he doesn't fit the bill in many ways. ADHD, yes, and there's always been that "something else" that has been called ODD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, etc. He's on Adderall now and we thought he was doing better: more communication, better sleeping, better eating. Then my daughter gets an email from Difficult Child's doctor that her ex had sent her demanding that the Doctor diagnose him with Bi polar because he's saying such terrible things, etc. Yes, he is difficult, but things are not so great between my ex sister in law and his wife, apparently. My grandkids report that they fight all the time, she won't stay alone with my grandson anymore because he's so disrespectful to her and it's my daughter's fault and on and on. So tacky and trashy. We have all bent over backwards to keep things calm and mature for the kids, but the ex sister in law refused to co-parent (his new wife is an extremely jealous, controlling type--she has been quite successful at cutting all of her children's fathers (3 with three different men, never married) out of their lives. That being said, we tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because she seemed to be taking good care of the kids on the time they were with her. She doesn't work, so the bulk of the care of the 6 kids falls to her. But we've been hearing things recently that are disquieting about her and my ex sister in law and the things they say to the kids, etc. So, we are left wondering if the escalation in bad behavior, cursing, etc., is a result of a stressed situation over at the other house and we can't really ask the kids. If I even ask about their new baby brother anyhow he's doing, new teeth, walking etc, the kids both tell me I talk about him too much, etc., so the kids are getting coached not to talk about anything that happens over there. Which is fine, we certainly don't need to know everything, or much of anything, but the big stuff would be good. So, now ex sister in law is demanding this diagnoses from the doctor in this long, rambling email he sent to Difficult Child's doctor. Please tell me that an 8 year old with bi polar isn't commonly diagnosis'ed. The side effects of the stimulants have been hard to deal with, although he has done fairly well with the Adderall, but the bi polar medications in young kids scares me to death, quite frankly. Thank you if you've reached all the way down to the end of this.