Birds and Bees at age 18? Reality check?


member since 1999
Got a note home a couple of weeks ago that Boo's school is now doing a class on puberty, physical and emotional changes, yada yada yada. First time in the 6 years he's been in this program. The note said they would assume parental consent unless they got a note from home stating otherwise. They got a note from me stating that Boo would not be participating in the class.

Got a message today from SW who does the class that *this* week they'll be talking about social/emotional changes, having already covered the plumbing issues.

Now, Boo hit puberty at the ripe old age of 11, physically anyway. We discussed plumbing and physical changes with him, as well as good touch/bad touch, girls, appropriate behavior, etc. Has been reinforced over the years, esp as the younger 2 boys have hit this stage too.

While it's hard to have a really good grasp of Boo's understanding, I think we've seen a lot of emotional growth over the last 6-7 years. It's hard to really get specific but... he's definitely a man now, not only in appearance but in composure and attitude and poise. Also, I asked what he thought about it and just got guffaws. Reverted to "yes/no" questions and I think he made it pretty clear he's not interested in this class in the slightest.

I have written a note to SW saying how I appreciate the head's up on this week's topic, am glad this subject is finally being addressed in sped setting, but that I don't think it's developmentally appropriate for Boo to participate. He's already been there done that. While he's nonverbal for the most part, there's no question he "gets" girls. He is appropriate, aside from gawking which, based on his father's behavior, is more a genetic issue than a social behavior issue. :rofl: I pointed out that I think it's completely unfair to expect an 18-year-old man to participate in discussions regarding <u>puberty</u> and the changes that occur. How many seniors in high school can you see doing this, especially for the first time?? The horse left the barn a *long* time ago.

on the other hand, I have zip tolerance for virtually any input from the school at this point. I'm so done... am requesting at IEP mtg next month that he attend adult program full time starting in the fall, at SD's expense. This supposed educational program has worn through my last nerve.

Am I being unreasonable in asking that Boo not be forced to participate in this class?
You being unreasonable - NO WAY!!! I think the school has lost its last marble expecting an 18 year old man to attend this class!!!

Thanks for making me laugh :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:!!! I really needed a good laugh after difficult child 1's total melt-down last night!!!

I hope you get Boo into the adult program in the fall :warrior:... WFEN

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
In Boo's case I'd say this class is a day late and a dollar short. Good grief. :hammer: Nope I wouldn't make him participate either. No sense to it.


Well-Known Member
Why on earth would they expect an 18 year old to talk about puberty? Or listen to a talk about puberty?

Hasnt puberty ended by this age? DUH? Maybe the teachers should take a class on human development!

I could almost understand if they suggested a class on sex ed for physically challenged adults. That might be a class that he could benefit from. But puberty? Good grief!


Former desparate mom
<span style='font-size: 11pt'>If your son doesn't feel the class will help him and you know that this isn't a knee jerk reaction to being done with school then whatever was to be gained from the class won't happen.
It's unfortunate that there isn't some imput into what sort of class would benefit your son. Maybe something more advanced. I know the discussion about sex and dating is an ongoing conversation in our home, since I stress responsibility and consequences. I worry a fair amount about diseases that have lifelong consequences. I'm not nearly as comfortable about bringing a child into the world before either of my son's are ready to take on that role. I notice easy child is listening more about the social interaction of couples and how they work more than the actual physical parts which I'm sure he has studied to perfection, lol. It's just a different aspect of the same conversation.

An ongoing,progressive discussion of the social issues around the birds and the bees should be something you can suggest for future classes.Relationship education is a good life lesson for all teens.

I'm sure you have talked to Boo about the important stuff of relationships and the opposite sex. If gawking is an issue, then teaching adult ways to handle interest has to be part of the class. Fortunately for Boo you are on top of this stuff and are able to judge what and when he will need. </span>