Bizzare - ALMOST like that Book Crazy -

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Jan 12, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi all -

    This was just too weird for words. This morning our best friends had a break in. He left for work at 6:00 as per usual, and she babysits her grandson. She left the house around 8:30 for story time at the library.

    When she returned home, she realized she had locked herself out of the house. She called the neighbor across the street to let her in. Once in - and feeling silly for forgetting her house key - she noticed the bedroom door was shut. She knew she didn't shut the door. With her grandson on her hip she went to see if the door hadn't possibly blown shut when the neighbor opened the door for her. As she got closer she heard rustling sounds in the house and ran out fearing for her grandsons safety.

    She ran to the neighbor and called 911. The police arrived within minutes (there's the miracle) and went into the home and found a very overweight, mid-30's woman in the bedroom. Upon further inspection of the home our friend noticed food missing, the bathroom shower wet - a towel on the floor, and all the pictures of her grandchild busted and torn laying in the trash can.

    The police took the woman out in handcuffs and told my friend (oh huge lie) that there is NOTHING that can be done since they were taking her across the river to the State mental hospital. I listened to her telling me about the cops 'take' on things - He said she couldn't press charges because this woman was obviously mentally ill. Matter of fact she had done the EXACT same thing to the house across the street (oddly enough the house that our friends sold to move into the house they're in now) and the neighbor said he found the woman had made herself RIGHT at home - food, shower, nap, torn up pictures - just like our friends home today.

    Our friends are visibly shaken. She is more upset that the cop told her there is nothing that can be done and that in 72 hours this woman will be "out" and free to offend again.

    I am really struggling with this one - because I am sure the woman who broke in is suffering from some sort of mental illness. I would venture a guess -schizophrenia. If you've read the book "crazy" it's a fathers persepective of his own schiz. son age 20 who broke in, took a bath, ate and did other odd things in a home. It would have been a felony on this young mans record. His father begged the family to not press charges.

    In this case - I'm sympathetic to my friend because I've also been burglarized in the past and it's an AWFUL feeling. But I also know that if it were someone mentally ill that had been in my house? I'd be WAY more sympathetic to their plight than most people. I'm torn because I KNOW the advice the police gave was incorrect. Yes she'll get out in 72 hours and yes, she could come back and yes there is that fear of not feeling comfortable in your own home to the degree of wanting to move. But why would an officer give such inaccurate info? Why didn't the neighbor tell them what had happened KNOWING that was their old house.

    They don't know her --it's just bizzare. DF wants me to tell our friend that they can press charges, but get her to understand (fat chance) that this woman is mentally ill and already suffers. I'm just not sure I want to open this beehive. Any suggestions?

    (also thinking the cop said what he said MORESO because he has an understanding for mentally ill and knows she won't get the help she needs in a jail) and if she's does she remember to get to jail? Then there will be warrants etc...more fines, more time. Ugh -
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh BS- speaking for my son's experience- they can still arrest her, as you know. I think she should go to police dept and file charges herself. Obviously, the cops had to make some kind of report so that will be on record to verify the story. Why is it that with us parents here, our difficult child's get the arrested part and don't get the mental health trreatment?

    I agree the woman is mentally ill, but I feel sure she can still be arrested. And, I am glad she got caught- with those actions toward the baby's photos, I hate to think what could have ended up happening.
  3. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    How strange and scary too!!! When I was single, I had my apartment broken into. My mattress was slashed, all my dresser draws tossed throughout the tiny apartment, everything of value (not much) was taken, etc... I was afraid to be alone in that place for days afterwards!!!

    I'm torn on this one too - on the other hand, the woman is obviously mentally ill and needs help. on the other hand, your friend should know that charges can be brought against her. I agree - nothing good will come out of sending a mentally ill person to jail. I honestly don't know what to say... I hope others come along soon with some better advice than this. Actually, any advice at all will be better than this - SORRY.

    I'm just glad your friend and her grandchild are safe. When it gets right down to it, that is the only thing that really matters. WFEN
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think it's a case where she should be arrested, but the legal system should be able to do something to get her mental health treatment. (I know- the key word there is "should"- not that they can or will.)
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I guess in this situation you have to ask what she hopes will come of her actions, either to press charges or not.

    Would pressing charges force the situation so the woman gets off the streets and appropriately treated for her illness? Certainly, sending her to jail is not going to "cure" her and if she's released in 72 hours she's back to the streets doing this all over again.

    If your friend wants to get involved (which it sounds like it's doubtful she'd do that) and try to push for having the woman committed for more than the 72 hour hold, that would probably acheive the greatest impact but would require the most time and effort. HUGE.

    If it were me, I'd want my friends to set me straight but also help me understand the situation and what my expectations can be realistically. But then, I like to think I'm fairly open minded and sympathetic to the mentally ill.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    In this state (SC) If she is arrested and send to jail the mental health system is not very good or helpful. I'm not trying to sound like a mental health sympatico - but I think with any person doing a crime of this nature she should have to answer for it. If she's found to be incompetent? Then maybe she'll get the help she needs? Who knows maybe she's never gotten help before....but to think that she did the same thing last week and is back doing it again?

    My thought is that SHE could get hurt. Someone is not going to be scared one of these days and will shoot her or have a dog hurt her.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Very good point, Star.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    So sad... so scary for both people.
  9. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I would have chosen to let it go until I read that she did it Just Last Week! She just isn't safe and who can make the call if she is dangerous to the people who may surprise her. For all concerned, I'd go with pressing charges.
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    The first time I answered this, I was in a rush - had just a few minutes before I had to leave to run an errand and pick up my difficult children at school. I didn't take into account that she had done the same thing the week before.:hammer:

    After thinking about this a bit more, and reading everyone's responses, I definitely think charges have to be filed against her. Hopefully, somehow, she'll end up getting the help she needs.

    Even if she doesn't, there are just too many other people to consider. She can't just keep breaking into people's homes and destroying their personal things. Also, as house of cards said, she could be dangerous. And, as Star said, someone might end up hurting her too.

    And, just as I truly believe my difficult children must be held accountable for their actions, after thinking it through, I believe she must be held accountable for hers too. It is just so sad. Anyone who would do what she did, in my humble opinion, is in need of a tremendous amount of help.

    It is so sad that our society doesn't have a better system in place for handling mentally ill people. I still believe that jail won't help her at all. WFEN