T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
I have been interested in various comments about cell phones, taking them away etc. So my difficult child was discharged yesterday and went to the new sober house. I know this because I got an email from the therapist at the tx place, I have heard nothing from my son!
So I did go online and check his cell phone records and of course he has been texting like crazy... to all sorts of numbers (most of which I do not know) but some to the old girlfriend... who I had hoped had broken up with him for good.
I thought about some of you and thought gosh maybe we should just cut off his cell phone??? A part of me is peeved that he didn't at least text us that he is settled!!! A big part of me is concerned that he will get his hopes back up with the girlfriend which is not at all good for him and he will again spiral downward. And of course I worry about him reconnecting with all of his druggie friens that he has it seems all over the place.
We have never ever considered or mentioned shutting off his cell phone. So if we did that it would really feel ike it came out of left field. And I can see that part of my wish to do this is an issue of control on my part... I want to prevent him for contacting the girlfriend or druggie friends.
The reason we have kept paying for his cell phone (and he is on our family plan so it is not very much cost wise) is that we feel better knowing he has a way to call us when he is in trouble... and it has been comforting to me to have a way to check that he is still alive when he has been incommunicado and/or homeless. However it does feel in a way it does enable him to make contact with druggie folks and truth is in an emergency he could always call us collect.
I know my husband would not support cutting off his cell phone right now and I don't think now would be the right time. However I am wondering how the rest of you feel about cell phones, and paying for them?
I thought about texting him and asking if he is settled... and then thought about what someone said on this board about them kind of always knowing we are there wanting contact or something. I decided it is better for me just to wait it out and continue to go on with my life and let him contact us this time. He knows we are here and I am sure will contact us when he needs something. It is better if he is not thinking I am here ready to catch him and pick up the pieces.
And I think I will try to stop checking his phone records... it can almost become a compulsion.
I woke up lat night after some crazy dream about him and a friend and alcohol... and realize that although I am sleeping... it is not quite as restful now that he is no longer at the tx place.
TL
I have been interested in various comments about cell phones, taking them away etc. So my difficult child was discharged yesterday and went to the new sober house. I know this because I got an email from the therapist at the tx place, I have heard nothing from my son!
So I did go online and check his cell phone records and of course he has been texting like crazy... to all sorts of numbers (most of which I do not know) but some to the old girlfriend... who I had hoped had broken up with him for good.
I thought about some of you and thought gosh maybe we should just cut off his cell phone??? A part of me is peeved that he didn't at least text us that he is settled!!! A big part of me is concerned that he will get his hopes back up with the girlfriend which is not at all good for him and he will again spiral downward. And of course I worry about him reconnecting with all of his druggie friens that he has it seems all over the place.
We have never ever considered or mentioned shutting off his cell phone. So if we did that it would really feel ike it came out of left field. And I can see that part of my wish to do this is an issue of control on my part... I want to prevent him for contacting the girlfriend or druggie friends.
The reason we have kept paying for his cell phone (and he is on our family plan so it is not very much cost wise) is that we feel better knowing he has a way to call us when he is in trouble... and it has been comforting to me to have a way to check that he is still alive when he has been incommunicado and/or homeless. However it does feel in a way it does enable him to make contact with druggie folks and truth is in an emergency he could always call us collect.
I know my husband would not support cutting off his cell phone right now and I don't think now would be the right time. However I am wondering how the rest of you feel about cell phones, and paying for them?
I thought about texting him and asking if he is settled... and then thought about what someone said on this board about them kind of always knowing we are there wanting contact or something. I decided it is better for me just to wait it out and continue to go on with my life and let him contact us this time. He knows we are here and I am sure will contact us when he needs something. It is better if he is not thinking I am here ready to catch him and pick up the pieces.
And I think I will try to stop checking his phone records... it can almost become a compulsion.
I woke up lat night after some crazy dream about him and a friend and alcohol... and realize that although I am sleeping... it is not quite as restful now that he is no longer at the tx place.
TL