Christmas News :/

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by HeadlightsMom, Dec 25, 2014.

  1. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    difficult child arrested this morning at 1:30 a.m. Fa la la la la la la....
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. I was the "laugh" icon. It's not funny, but the way you put it was.

    I'm sorry about it, really. They have such wonderful timing, don't they?
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    OMG! difficult children never cease to amaze...disappoint....freak us out...doing whatever it is they do......hard to find the right word or words.

    Your sense of humor is vitally important.

  4. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Ouch. That explains why you were up so early then. It was the right thing to post to us here, Headlights Mom. We have been there, too. You are not alone, and there is strength in that.

    We are all right here, and we will get one another through whatever comes next for each of us in a way that leaves all of us stronger and more centered.

    I'm so sorry. It's the juxtaposition of the thing. Everything gets all clangy when things go wrong at Christmastime. It seems like you just cannot get away from it. The Christmas carols all seem poignant, especially the ones you love.

    Are you going to visit?


    P.S. It was pretty funny the way you posted fa-la-la-la-la.

    Aint that the truth.
  5. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member


    I'm here for you, as well. Thinking about you. Yes, most of us have been where you are today.

    I am so sorry. Hugs! It will not always be as crummy as it feels today.
  6. judi

    judi Active Member

    So sorry....

    This is the second Xmas for my son in prison. Definitely not a fun club to join.
  7. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    HeadlightsMom I'm so sorry! What an awful way to spend your holiday. :hugs:
  8. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, HLM. We are here for you, 24/7.
  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Oh Lord! Well what can I say. difficult child's are so trying.
  10. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Headlights hang in there. I hope you were able to get some joy out of the day regardless. I am sorry it happened and that it happened on Christmas. We are here with you. Tomorrow is another day. Warm hugs.
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Ditto, Ditto....Mine got arrested on my birthday. What lovely "gifts" our difficult child's give us. BAH HUMBUG
  12. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member

    And, ours called on a Fathers Day on one incarceration. Happenstance -----with all these folks chiming in?

    Heck, our difficult child was messing up so often, some were statistically certain to hit some special dates.

  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh boy, I'm sorry HLM. A prayer for you and for difficult child ...........sending a hug too.......let us know how you are.......
  14. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Everyone --- Thanks so much for your kind words....much appreciated. Multiple felony counts on top of broken probation, so we are told it will likely be a long time....perhaps years. Mind-numbing news at first. But the more we thought about it, the more it seemed less awful. Sad and tragic, yes. But, in other ways, perhaps the best that could happen given circumstances. May save difficult child's and others' lives.

    And, ironically, we realized something else.... If we knew where difficult child was (caged), our lives could be very calm for a very long time. It's not what any parent ideally wants. But it's been a special kind of hell at times (I know you can all relate), so, honestly, we'll take that calm year if it's offered. Enough.

    Cedar -- You asked if we would visit. Short answer..... I don't know. Longer our state the inmate choose who they WILL visit with (like they add them to a list), not who they WON'T visit with. Last time difficult child was in jail (last May, just for 1 month), we were not on that list. Matter of fact, difficult child listed no one and saw no one. Short answer revisited.......... I don't know. If he asked right now, today, we'd say, "No." If he asks tomorrow? I dunno....

    Yesterday morning sucked the wad with the "news". But yesterday afternoon and evening we had a great time with my brother and his family (large fam). Last night we went and saw the movie "Unbroken". Eye life looks pretty cushy comparatively. While I generally discourage "comparison" these days, in this case I don't. Although our parenting experience has felt a bit like a POW Camp at times, seeing Louie Zamperini's POW Camp time dramatized made me very thankful for the physical freedom I have.

    So, my gratitude this morning is that, despite the crap around difficult child, we the parents are free. Hope that makes sense.

    This morning we watched a little "Christmas Vacation" (gotta love those Griswolds!) and we're taking a little road trip today. We're just gonna point the car south and see where it takes us! :D I do so love husband!

    PS --- Glad you all loved the "Fa la la la la la la"...........It made me laugh repeatedly when I really needed it! :D
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  15. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I am glad you guys managed to get some joy out of the day. Hopefully difficult child will add you all to the list so you can check on him when it feels right. If not then I guess you can enjoy the down time without guilt.
  16. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am always amazed at and humbled by the resilience of the CD moms. Merry Christmas Headlights Mom and everyone else!
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  17. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    You are standing so well! Laughter is the key to changing our endorphins around and getting them out here where they can do us some good. I am happy for you that you are able to laugh and to remember gratitude in the middle of something so dark.

    This is how we stay sane in the face of the horror.

    I agree about the safely caged part.

    Driving away ~ just that simple act of driving away, changes all things. I love it that you and husband are doing that.



  18. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm sorry you had that happen but I do admire your sense of humor.

    I can so relate to this. My difficult child has been in and out of jail numerous times and when he was locked up for 2 full years it was 2 years that I didn't have to wonder "what's going to happen next"

    Hang in there!!!

    ((HUGS)) to you.
  19. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I hate that my son's poor decisions have put him behind bars, but I know where he is and I can go about my life without the daily drama. It sounds cold and unloving to say that. Living like that was worse.
  20. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    HLM, it is good to hear from you. I totally understand what you are saying, about this being sad and tragic but also some respite for you, a time of no high drama and wondering where/how he is.

    Christmas sounds really nice. Road trip sounds like the perfect topping!

    I haven't seen Unbroken yet but did read the book. Am I remembering correctly that Louie Zamperini was a bit of a difficult child himself?