Mahalo nui all.
I have never felt such a deep chasm within my heart.
My soul cries out in anguish as so many emotions wash over me.
There is some small relief in knowing that my hubs is no longer suffering.
A part of me has wandered off.
I keep waiting for him to return home to me.
The morning is filled with birdsong, yet my mind is wracked with unspeakable sorrow.
There is no way to prepare for a loss so great.
Hold your loved one close.
Do not let the tyranny of d cs addiction drive a wedge between your relationship with your mate.
Truly I say to you, these months I have been here processing all we have gone through, running the tapes of our struggle to help our d cs,
are evidence of the desperation and toll it took on the both of us as parents,
as people,
as friends,
lovers,
soul mates.
We were grieving heavily in our own way,
hubs being quiet and determined to stay strong,
I wanting to talk with him,
he could not go there.
I know that he was suffering silently.
It is not right that our beloved adult children,
whom we sacrificed for,
worked hard to parent
and teach the right things,
should use that love against us
to perpetuate their choices.
For those of you who read this,
and are struggling with the devastation
of your d cs lifestyle,
please act quickly and decisively to save yourselves,
your relationship.
Hold each other close.
Seek counseling.
Honor your marriage first and foremost,
cherish and value each other.
I miss my hubs with all my being.
I shall not drown in my grief, for I must go on.
I pray to Akua to wrap us in his loving embrace
and comfort my family and I.
With all my heart, I thank you for your support.
Me ke Aloha,
Leaf