C'mere Mom, I wanna show you something!

[gcvmom]

difficult child 2 was with us at a restaurant tonight when out of the blue he stood up and said "C'mere Mom, I wanna show you something!" and disappeared around the corner. At first, it didn't register with me that he'd left the table because I was talking to husband and the other two were making noise. Then suddenly I had this weird panicky feeling and jumped to my feet and raced around the corner.

difficult child 2 had left the building and was in the front courtyard of the restaurant -- he had climbed to the top of an 8 foot wall and was proceeding upward attempting to scale the 12 foot high archway over the entrance!!! He was very happy about his little trick and thought I would be amused -- of course I was hysterical and yelled at him to get down immediately while patrons were walking by looking concerned... And staff was peering out the window of the front door to see what was going on.

husband was about ready to flip out over this, so I took the opportunity to underscore how important it is that we -- HE -- realize that difficult child 2 cannot control himself, and we need to treat him like he's a 2yo again with regard to supervision and safety, otherwise someone's going to get hurt. We also cannot get sooo angry with him, as hard as it is not to, because he cannot control himself right now. Period.

husband volunteered to take difficult child 2 home to spend some time with him (we arrived separately) so the other kids and I could finish our meal, and that was very good of him and tells me his (husband) Paxil is working.

When we got home, they were out back playing in the pool together.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Thank goodness he is OK!

3 cheers for mommy instincts.

3 cheers for daddy taking him home!

 

[Marguerite]

It's good that husband took him home.

A thought - was there a chance he could fall, or is his balance exceptional? Because you might be able to direct exceptionally good balance into circus skills. It helped easy child 2/difficult child 2 learn safety rules and it also helped her learn some common sense, even while it gave her an outlet. She liked to walk tall on stilts because she is so short. She would climb up on things so she could see from high up - was always climbing like that. Then once she accomplished stilt walking, things went in a much better direction.

difficult child 3's godmother has a son who was like this. While I was still at the hospital the day after difficult child 3 was born, godmother brought her two kids in to see us. Son wandered off (he was 14 at the time) and explored. It WAS visiting hour, but he had NO idea of privacy. It was an old hospital with big, wide windows which could open up all the way to the floor. As it was midsummer, all the windows were wide open. He walked out the window to the balcony, stepped over the balcony onto the roof of the wing below and proceeded to talk about on the tar paper roof, inspecting the various ducts and ladders. By the time I saw him (two floors below us - he would have had to walk through an entirely different hospital ward to get out the windows) security were grabbing him and dragging him back inside. It was extremely embarrassing for godmother, who was asked to leave and take her son home before he injured himself or someone else.

He's grown up to hold down a high-paying, somewhat adventurous but responsible job. He's less impulsive these days, thank goodness. For his 21st, instead of photos up on the wall signifying each passing year, his mother put up his X-rays! The fractured skull, the pin in his leg, the broken arm...

Marg

 

[Kjs]

OMG !!!


I would of lost it. Good for you staying calm.

Glad things worked out safely and had a happy ending to your evening.

 

[Alisonlg]

Wowie! I can only imagine!

You handled it well!

 

[1 Day At a Time]

gcvmom,

I also applaud your MommySense and understand your frustration and fear all too well. My difficult child would be climbing up the wall as well, and he has done this many times. I'd like to say that we haven't spent a lot of time in emergency rooms - but - we have. So keep watching. His 5th grade teacher seemed to understand his urges, though, and she took the whole class as a treat to her boyfriend's indoor wall climbing business. My difficult child quickly scooted to the top of the most challenging course while we all stood in amazement below. We have since taken him on rock climbing trips to indulge his love for climbing. Perhaps it would help to find such a place to take him from time to time , all the while teaching the appropriate and inappropriate places for climbing - as well as the need for appropriate safety equipment and partners. It took time and patience, but our difficult child has finally figured it out.
Oh by the way, I don't know that I can really complain too much. I loved climbing as a child and was always up on top of the highest place I could find....for some reason my parents didn't worry about it too much but we lived on a farm and there weren't walls as tall as the one your difficult child was scaling!

 

[busywend]

Wow! Scary! Thank goodness for your mommy instinct!

Good for husband!

 

[gcvmom]

Yeah, I was pretty shocked... he hasn't pulled anything like that since he was much younger and was not yet medicated.

 

[gcvmom]

A thought - was there a chance he could fall, or is his balance exceptional? Because you might be able to direct exceptionally good balance into circus skills.

His balance is fairly good, but the worried mom in me always things there's a chance he'd fall and the higher he is the more I worry (of course, he said HE wasn't worried and that he actually felt safe up there). But hey, a circus school would be right up his alley!

I'm trying to get him into a summer camp that has lots of physical activities, including climbing!

 

[gcvmom]

There's a day camp I'm trying to get him into that does have a rock wall and lots of high-energy physical activities he can do... I'll be saving this story for anyone in my family/friends who doubt the need to keep him on a short leash!

 

[TerryJ2]

A circus school? Wow. Cool.

Ditto the applause for your Mommy instincts!

And ditto the applause for husband taking him home and occupying him constructively.

In re: to climbing, you're lucky he asked you to come see him. When I was a kid, that's the sort of thing we would do behind our parents' backs. Telling them what we were doing--especially something like that--I don't THINK so! with-5 kids, at any point in time, one or more of us was running around doing something they weren't supposed to do. And I don't know if it's better or worse, but since there were 5 of us, none of whom were ADHD, we actually plotted this stuff out way ahead of time. Usually one of us was the lookout.

Sheesh, that probably didn't make you feel better, did it?

Again, I'm glad you actually got up to check on your difficult child and that dinner was not a catastrophe.

 

[On_Call]

Y I K E S ! ! !



I am sure I would not have handled it as well as you did!

to you and to husband!!

The climbing wall sounds like a good alternative - or the camp you are looking into!

I have always hated heights. Just watching something on TV where someone is at a great height makes my stomach and legs feel weird.

 

[Wiped Out]

Scary! Sounds like you and husband handled things well!

 

[ShakespeareMamaX]

While reading your story, I was imagining my son up there, prancing along with him. I sympathize with having to treat your 10yo like a 2yo. It's sad when I have to be more attentive to my 8yo than my 14m/o.

You did good, though. Your husband, as well.

Cheers to you guys and your patience.


Hang in there. I know you can.

And as for circus school... That's the best idea, EVER!!! I think I'll look into that for my son. Rock climbing is an awesome idea, too. Now that I think about it, when I was younger, I went to a program called R.O.P.E. It was an entire obstacle course where you climbed trees, crossed 30 ft high balance ropes, and a zip line (all properly harnessed and supervised, of course)! I loved it and I bet our kids would, too. Check it out. Hopefully, there's a program near you.

 

[ShakespeareMamaX]

P.S. Here's a link to the R.O.P.E. program:

http://www.rope.org/

 

[Hound dog]

You handled it wonderfully!

Would've scared the beejeesus outta me. Reminds me of the time when Travis was 3 and he climbed to the top branches of a very tall tree. husband cussed the whole time he was climbing up after him while I held my breath that neither would fall and be seriously hurt.

 

[gcvmom]

Thanks, ShakespeareMamaX! I'll check it out

 

[gcvmom]

... we actually plotted this stuff out way ahead of time. Usually one of us was the lookout.

Sheesh, that probably didn't make you feel better, did it?

Again, I'm glad you actually got up to check on your difficult child and that dinner was not a catastrophe. grin:

Sounds like you grew up in a family like my husband's They've regaled me with many a tale of their "Shhh, don't tell mom and dad"-antics!

I am sooo lucky my three don't band together to pull stunts like that. And even if they did, I don't think I'd want to know about it anyway!

 

[Marguerite]

I was just remembering that scene from "Anne of Green Gables" when she was dared to walk the ridge pole and broke her ankle.

Kids will be kids. Finding an outlet for all that, as well as some way of developing a head for heights SAFELY, can sometimes be the easiest way out.

Marg