Jungleland
Welcome to my jungle!
On June 7th, it will be a year since my suicide attempt. So many thoughts are flying through my head. I really didn't think this "anniversary" would bother me. Boy was I wrong!
I am starting to have the same feelings and thoughts I had a year ago. School is almost over for the summer and my anxiety is climbing.
On August 4th, I will have 1 year clean from abusing prescription drugs. I was abusing soma, xanax and hydrocodone. I am very involved in NA, go to meetings, involved in service which helps so much.
But since Aug. 4, I have not had anything for my depression or anxiety except Paxil. I really feel that I need a medication evaluation. My insurance does not cover psychiatry so my family doctor prescribes my medications. Not sure he is comfortable with changing things, I am very honest with him. Finally, honesty!!!! Feels good.
Anyways, I am talking with my sponsor, sharing at meetings, working my steps, but June 7th loomes over me and frightens me. I will not be alone on the days prior, the day of or after. Will be attending a huge NA function on the 6th, so I know that no one will allow me to do anything stupid. I just hate the stinkin' thinkin'.
I relate to Star's response to Steely's post. I have moved so many times with the unconscience thoughts of "this place will be better, problems will be left behind". I feel the deep desire to jump ship once again, things would be sooo much better in...Timbucktoo... But my conscience mind knows, doesn't matter where I am, once the excitement and relief of being somewhere new wears off, back to the stinkin' thinkin'!
I don't think I have shared all of the above with all of you before. Going on a year free of narcs, makes me feel proud and wanting to share with you, my family.
Sorry my post sorta jumps all over the place, my mind is a bit like that right now.
I love you all for being here for me and my family.
Hugs, Vickie
I am starting to have the same feelings and thoughts I had a year ago. School is almost over for the summer and my anxiety is climbing.
On August 4th, I will have 1 year clean from abusing prescription drugs. I was abusing soma, xanax and hydrocodone. I am very involved in NA, go to meetings, involved in service which helps so much.
But since Aug. 4, I have not had anything for my depression or anxiety except Paxil. I really feel that I need a medication evaluation. My insurance does not cover psychiatry so my family doctor prescribes my medications. Not sure he is comfortable with changing things, I am very honest with him. Finally, honesty!!!! Feels good.
Anyways, I am talking with my sponsor, sharing at meetings, working my steps, but June 7th loomes over me and frightens me. I will not be alone on the days prior, the day of or after. Will be attending a huge NA function on the 6th, so I know that no one will allow me to do anything stupid. I just hate the stinkin' thinkin'.
I relate to Star's response to Steely's post. I have moved so many times with the unconscience thoughts of "this place will be better, problems will be left behind". I feel the deep desire to jump ship once again, things would be sooo much better in...Timbucktoo... But my conscience mind knows, doesn't matter where I am, once the excitement and relief of being somewhere new wears off, back to the stinkin' thinkin'!
I don't think I have shared all of the above with all of you before. Going on a year free of narcs, makes me feel proud and wanting to share with you, my family.
Sorry my post sorta jumps all over the place, my mind is a bit like that right now.
I love you all for being here for me and my family.
Hugs, Vickie