Could you all rattle some serious beads for my long lost grandfather?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Some of you may have read a few posts from me about my bio fathers family. never knew any of them and then suddenly in 2 days i was contacted by 3 aunts and my grandfather. That was within a week of my baby sister finding me on facebook. I have finally met the one aunt that I have grown very close to. She feels like family. She's a wonderful, kind, caring, accepting and welcoming woman. I feel blessed.
    Despite my parents bitter ugly divorce, I heard nothing but lovely things about my grandfather. Even from my bitter, hardened, still angry, bipolar mother. She adored this man. As did the rest of my mothers family. My aunts talk glowingly of him. I notice his facebook wall always has grandchildren and great grandchildren leaving loving messages. He looks nothing like I expected, from viewing his facebook photos. I expected, since he is my fathers father, that he'd have horns, a tail, a pitchfork attached to his hand.
    Instead there is this lovely aboriginal elder in the photo with a beautiful wise and kind looking wife (he wisely divorced my grandmother over 25 years ago). His eyes radiate love and warmth and laughter. His smile glows. I've enjoyed our random messages via facebook. I cried reading a lovely Easter message he sent to me earlier this year.
    I've just learned he had emergency surgery last night. They found, very strangely, a small metal rod in his colon. They surgically removed it but it had already reached the stage of gangrene. All I know otherwise is "he is not doing well" and that his fever tonight is sky high. I have no clue the background, or what "not doing well" really entails. I'm sure I'll learn more tomorrow. However, from the facebook messages bouncing on my newfound families wall posts, it sounds pretty dire. He lives 4 hours away from me and I have no car to go there. For many reasons I would appreciate some prayers, I have a warm place in my heart for this man even before he found me earlier this year. I heard so many stories growing up of things he did for myself and my brother during my parents marriage. I've been so looking forward to a time when I could find a way to travel to meet him. I've waited 34 long years to find family that were sane, kind, loving and whose lives would be opened up to me. I have no living grandparents other than him. I never knew my moms father. I have lucifer for a father myself. This man, I so wanted my children to get to know a great grandpa. I pray that I still have the opportunity. I don't want to meet him at his funeral :( :(
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, sweetie big (((((hugs)))))) And of course prayers going up for your grandfather, along with body parts crossed, good vibes, and good juju, and anything else I can think of.

    Perhaps a family member could help you make the trip to see him?

    You situation sounds so similar to my own it's a tad spooky. Although I did know my paternal grandfather somewhat growing up because my mother did seem to adore him. (good reason) And my kids did meet him several times (due to distance) and knew him as great grandpa.

    I sincerely hope you and your children get an opportunity to meet with your grandfather face to face and develop a relationship with him in good health.
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thanks Daisylover. I'm in tears so heading off to bed. It hurts extra, thinking of losing him when I've just met him and not even in person. As a kid growing up in foster care, I lost the major bond I had with my grandmother and then she passed away. I lost all those holidays and memory moments with my aunts, uncles, cousins, grands, even my brother. My kids have little family. easy child has many on her fathers side thankfully. For difficult child, its just been me. He no longer sees my mother (don't blame him). We see my brother maybe twice a year. Then theres one aunt and one cousin. We see them maybe 2-3 times a year, even living in the same town. So really, difficult child are on our own and always have been. When easy child is gone to her fathers on holidays etc, it really hits difficult child and I that in one sense, him and I are really left out in the cold. Irony being he and I are very family oriented and crave big gatherings, the laughing, sharing meals, etc. Our photoalbums are kind of sad to look through.
    I'm very grateful I've had a chance to chat with my grandfather online and learn more about him. But I really want to see him. To be quite honest, I want a hug from a grandparent that says I love you. So does difficult child. There's always going to be that little kid in him and I who is looking for that. So close it is. :(
    K, now I'm bawling like a maniac and can hardly see to type. time for bed for me before I wake the kids.
  4. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    Just said prayers for you, difficult child, your grandfather and your new found family.

  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending out prayers for your grandfather. I hope the board magic works so you can get a chance to see him in person.

  6. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I heard from a cousin today (one that hasn't contacted me until last night ... she seems nice and very much same personality type as me, pretty cool). She said the morning update from the hospital is his fever is improving. The surgeon is taking him back to the OR today to do some more cleaning up of his colon.
    I'll be moving not this upcoming summer, but the following, to a military base very near to him. I am so hoping at that point to be able to visit somewhat regularly and be given the chance to get to know him in a true family sense.
    Thanks for the good thoughts etc. I won't feel better until he's home with a good bill of health. Crossing fingers here that this second surgery helps improve the gangrene.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Saying another prayer for him this morning. Adding in all the other. Glad that he seems to be responding to treatment. I hope he keeps improving. Keep us updated.

  8. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Well, another update :(

    He is not doing well. He is going back AGAIN today to the OR for the surgeon to try to do some more cleanup of tissue in the colon. His wife is very concerned, not optimistic. My aunt is driving there today. It's a 8-9 hour drive for her. Normally she cares for a chronically ill granddaughter. So for her to make other arrangements for her granddaughter, means that she feels she really needs to be where my grandfather is right now.

    I just feel so sad :(
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Sending healing prayers and angels to him and you,.
  10. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Just had a message from my aunt. She is leaving tomorrow morning for the long drive. Bringing my grandfathers wifes daughter along with her. My aunt is to have 20cm's of snow overnight and into the morning. I hope she'll be okay driving in that kind of storm.

    She told me that the doctors believe the gangrene has passed to his stomach as well.

    My hope is dwindling. :(
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending more prayers and positive thoughts your way for your grandfather.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sending up more prayers.

    Any possible way you could hitch a ride with one of these family members, dear?

  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Coming in late, but sending prayers that they're able to stem the infection and that he recovers from this. It's good you were able to connect with him, however briefly. (((Hugs)))
  14. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thanks all.

    Not sure about a ride for just a visit. It would still leave me needing to afford a hotel, meals etc. And I don't have extra money. As it is, I've not got a single gift for Christmas for the kids, haven't even thought about it truly. I dread it.

    I have talked about it with S/O and if he is to pass away, I'll see about a ride with one of my aunts for the funeral, and we'll MAKE the money thing work out. Otherwise, if he pulls through this, as soon as Christmas is over, S/O are going to make sure in January I go down for a least a long weekend. Life is short and I've missed 35 years of my grandfather. I hope I get that chance.
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry
    I am sending prayers out to your family