Active Member
Kanga has not seen her therapist for nearly a month due to some illness & our vacation. She is doing much better than when she was in therapy. We were having a problem in therapy with her attempting to use the therapist as a "court of appeals" and trying to get the therapist to adopt her. While those problems had settled down, I think that a new therapist may be in order. The improvement in Kanga has been very good. Could the therapy have been making her worse instead of better???

(The therapist was good, but Kanga's perception of her role was very skewed.)


Active Member
A good therapist should be able to help a kid with problem solving and give her confidence that by problem solving and working with her concerns and interests are being addressed when mutually satisfying solutions are reached. It could be that it takes time
I suggest finding an older teenager or young adult to be her buddy or buddy-tutor. It helps develop cognitive skills, kid opens up and the buddy becomes a confidant



New Member
This all depends on how long you have been going to this particular therapist. I would schedule at least a phone consult and discuss what happened.

If you don't feel that it is helping and it has been quite awhile with this doctor, or if this doctor deals with children and not many adolescents, it maybe time to change.

I do think that a therapist has the ability to make things worse, it happened here, and what a tremendous turn around when we changed, it was a tough transition though.

Take your time, nothing is URGENT right now.



Active Member
A therapist can be very good, but still not a good fit. And it seems to me, that a good therapist should have seen that she was being used as an arbiter and advocate instead of an impartial adviser.

But I do agree - a talk between you and the therapist would maybe help sort out a few possible misunderstandings.



New Member
<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #990000"> sounds like therapist allowed herself to be drawn in to the triangulation thing.

since she is doing better i think i would be inclined to back off therapy at least for now. use this current lull to look for someone new who might be more suitable. once you find someone make & consult approintment & you go talk to her/him....alone. get a feel for his philosophy & approach. then if/when you need to get her back into therapy you know where/who to call.

</span> </span> </span>

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Triple J,

Call therapist & discuss the situation. He/she may have a referral.

I know that kt's current attachment therapist works wonders with her; this same therapist couldn't make any headway with wm - his partner, though, has the boy nailed & works well with him.

I'm glad that difficult child is doing well for the time being.