I don't sleep well for days before my adult son has to once again go to court. Not knowing if he will be in jail tomorrow or not. I am worn out. No longer can I help to get any of the therapy, doctors care, services or placement he needs. He is unstable, I feel helpless. But I have learned to stop enabling him, a hard reality I had to face and have discussed with him. My son is not a criminal, but his choices and living in the moment has time and again caught up with him. I cannot go to court this time, I cannot see him taken away again. It is too hard. I have told him the last time he was in jail, if you ever are incarcerated again, I cannot visit you. I will talk to you and write to you I have gone to the wall for my son all his life, home schooled him, got help in placement when crisis hit, and people would tell me couldn't be done, for example from the youth hkme, but I got him directly into placement. I would not take no for an answer and talked to people until I found the ones that would work with me to help him all through his childhood. I never imagined he would struggle so much as an adult. Was I naive to think things would get better? I have to find strength to take care of myself through this once again. And pray for him that things work out tomorrow and he can still work and have a place to live in an apt. he shares. If not, he starts counting days once again. I feel alone in my crisis with my son but I know there are many parents that feel my pain.