Court today

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    is good!!! Yay!!'

    Yesterday at court difficult children lawyer was saying she could get him into a 6 month salvation army program but he still wanted to explore drug court. Well my difficult children PO is not crazy about the salvation army and I think really wants him to get real treatment. The problem with the outpatient drug court is that he has no place to live and no transportatoin so how would he make that work? She also said sometimes they order residential treatment! So I am thinking that is what we should hope for that they get him into some kind of residential treatment.

    When I talked to difficult child last night he said he was thinking of forgetting drug court because it was 52 weeks long and he thought he would probably blow it, that he would just suck it up for the salvation army program...and that he knew having a place to live and transportation was a problem. I suggested he continue with the drug court evaluation but be really honest about is situation. We actually had a really good conversation.

    After I talked to difficult child last night I got really nervous about the salvation army option. My son is pretty close to being an atheist and I thought the religious aspect was going to be a problem for him. When I got to court his girlfriend and I talked about it and neither of us could imagine difficult child really doing anything with a strong religious focus!! The fact that his PO was not crazy about it worried me too. But I was also worried that it was the solution his lawyer came up with and difficult child would go for it as the shortest way to get out of prison!! I worried however that it would all be a total sham. girlfriend was worried about the same thing.

    So we got into court his lawyer was not there and we had to wait for her…. meanwhile we are watching the other drug court cases. One girl in handcuffs was going to residential treatment. One guy also in handcuffs (who had the two cutest twin 5 month old babies with his fiancee in the courtroom, had been held on something was being released but going back to phase 1 of drug court, a girl who had been in drug court who tested dirty on a drug test…. so the question is should she be held or given another chance to prove herself. She spoke etc etc and was given a chance to keep doing the drug court program. So you get the picture that drug court is pretty involved, then there were two people who were doing great, doing what they need to do and everyone clapped! So you get the picture that drug court is pretty strict, that people doing it have to report each week, are drug tested a lot and there are heavy consequences if they don't comply. So I am just praying gig gets into drug court and that they send him to residential treatment.

    difficult child is looking confused and mouths to me he has no idea what is going on…. I try to indicate to his lawyer that he doesn't understand his options…. yeah I know I am a pushy broad…. and she is obviously annoyed with me but does talk to him some more. He is looking kind of ticked off….

    I am nervous he is going to just go to Salvation army…. it is only 6 months rather than a year and probably less strict and also probably less effective! So they get up there and his lawyer says he has agreed to do drug court!!! Yay…… and in the meantime they have to find him a bed so they asked that he be allowed to go to a holding bed if one becomes available and so hopefully that will happen by Friday so at least he won't be in jail. I have no idea how long he will be in residential but he is in drug court for a year and if he doesn't comply he has an 18 month prison sentence hanging over his head.

    Then the PO asked that gig not be allowed to live with girlfriend!!! And so that is ordered for a year, he is allowed contact with her but cannot go to where she lives! I think he is ****** about that and probably blames me but I think it is a good thing. I talked to girlfriend afterwards and she agrees that is a good thing!!!

    So all is good…. i waited around to talk to the PO afterwards. Apparently he did want Salvation Army and she told his lawyer that she was not considering Salvation Army as an option.. his choice was drug court or she would ask for him to be detained!!! Now the judge might not have done that but I guess gig decided not to take that chance.

    The PO also told the judge that his parents have been there for him all the way and it is not time he does this himself!!!

    So I really think the right thing happened by the court today!! I look forward to sleeping again…. and as the PO told me at least he is alive.

  2. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    Awesome news - I love that program - I haven't heard of such things here - but we r working through juvenile - maybe it's different - wishing the best for u and him
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Congratulations TL. It sure sounds like the best option is the one that your difficult child is pursuing. I think it is awesome that his girlfriend is in agreement with "the plan". I really sincerely hope that he will take this opportunity to change his life around while he is still young enough to master a lifestyle change. Enjoy your peaceful sleep. many of us have vivid memories of trying to sleep when surrounded by fear. Way To Go! Hugs DDD
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great news! He certainly has had some very good opportunities. His PO sounds like she knows the real deal. Sending good thoughts TL.
  5. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member


    That is wonderful news!! I know you are relieved....

    It's great about the girlfriend rule and that she took it well. Sounds like an awesome system and they are setting him up for success and monitoring every step.

    *i hope you are able to find some peace.
  6. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    What an awesome court outcome! Wow. I echo Nancy's sentiment that the PO sounds like a winner.

    Hopefully you can get some peace for a while. As DDD mentioned, I still have vivid memories of some very stressful days and nights. Substance abuse is such a tough road - for the abuser and everyone in their circle. It affects everyone and everything around them. Take this time to step back and try to regroup.

  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So I have talked to difficult child a couple of times since the court ruling. At first he seemed kind of mad at me for the ruling that he couldnt live with girlfriend for a year. The girlfriend has seen him and was a bit worried as he seemed to be thinking of running.... but he seems past that now. I talked to him last night and he seems more resigned than anything else.... when I asked how he felt about it he said he had no choice... which is true. Apparently he is sleeping most of the day and then stays awake at night when it is quiet and reads... he is reading a book a day. He did ask that we let him call us and let his visiting time be with girlfriend.... I am ok with that. I drive by the prison ALL the time so I kind of wave as I go by. LOL..... I am doing a lot better myself..... I feel like it is really out of my hands now, a good decision has been made and so there is nothing more that I can or should do. It is kind of freeing in a way. The last two weeks I feel like I have had all these balls in the air and they are all dropping and now I am finally ready to start picking them up.

    Thank for all your support.

  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    So funny how we are both in exactly the same place at the same time...hugs to you - let's enjoy the bricks off of OUR shoulders now! :)