donna723
Well-Known Member
I haven't posted much about my son for a while ... he's doing very well after all the drama of a few years ago. His hours at work have been cut back a bit but he still has his job (he made $11,000 more than I did last year!). For about the last year he's been sharing a house with a female roommate - strictly platonic. They've gotten along very well - she's got a good job and pays her bills on time - very responsible. She also has a six (almost seven) year old son that lives with them. She works days, my son ("D") works nights. D comes home from work in the morning, she leaves for work, D takes the boy to school, then sleeps till it's time to pick him up from school, then she comes home and D leaves to go to work ... he really spends more time with him than his mother does.
So now he finds himself being the designated father-figure and role model for a six year old boy and he's gotten very good at it! Sounds good ... but the kid is a holy terror, a definite difficult child! No real 'disorders' I think, just spoiled rotten and used to ruling the roost and having his way. Throws tantrums like a toddler! His mother tries but he's learned that if he keeps on and keeps on, he will wear her down and she will just give in! The grandparents do the same thing! Not my son! The "rock" has met the "hard place" and it's almost funny! If he screams and hollers, D just turns the TV up and ignores him, so he doesn't do that much now since it doesn't work any more. If he comes home from school, slings his things around and then trashes the kitchen making a sandwich, D makes him clean it up! If he takes a shower and leaves the bathroom full of wet clothes and towels and puddles on the floor, D makes him clean it up! Nobody ever did that before! The kid stays mad at him a lot when he enforces the rules, but he's definately coming around! And he's with D so much, everyone assumes that he's his child. His bio-father is 'around' but never sees him and has never bothered to support him.
So they were having this thing at his school today, "Daddies and Donuts", a father/son get-together thing that I really don't quite understand the point of ... but he wanted D to come! D felt funny about it and told him that he really should call his dad first and see if he wanted to go instead ... if he couldn't, then he would go with him. He refused to call his bio-father - insisted that D go with him! So he did! But isn't it funny that the one person who makes him toe the line and doesn't let him get away with any of his usual crappola - he's crazy about him! I think D is actually very pleased to see his behavior improving and that what he's doing is having a good affect on him. This kid has never really had a positive male role model in his life, someone who really cares, and it's made a big difference in him. But I can see some potential pitfalls too. This 'roommate' arrangement won't last forever and then they will be going their seperate ways, and it will be sad all around because this child has come to rely on him so much.
And what's with the school having a "father/son" thing, especially in the middle of the day! Maybe it's just me, but it seems like anymore, there's an awful lot of kids that don't have "daddies" around to take them to something like this and they would be left out and couldn't participate! Sort of sad for those kids that couldn't go!
So now he finds himself being the designated father-figure and role model for a six year old boy and he's gotten very good at it! Sounds good ... but the kid is a holy terror, a definite difficult child! No real 'disorders' I think, just spoiled rotten and used to ruling the roost and having his way. Throws tantrums like a toddler! His mother tries but he's learned that if he keeps on and keeps on, he will wear her down and she will just give in! The grandparents do the same thing! Not my son! The "rock" has met the "hard place" and it's almost funny! If he screams and hollers, D just turns the TV up and ignores him, so he doesn't do that much now since it doesn't work any more. If he comes home from school, slings his things around and then trashes the kitchen making a sandwich, D makes him clean it up! If he takes a shower and leaves the bathroom full of wet clothes and towels and puddles on the floor, D makes him clean it up! Nobody ever did that before! The kid stays mad at him a lot when he enforces the rules, but he's definately coming around! And he's with D so much, everyone assumes that he's his child. His bio-father is 'around' but never sees him and has never bothered to support him.
So they were having this thing at his school today, "Daddies and Donuts", a father/son get-together thing that I really don't quite understand the point of ... but he wanted D to come! D felt funny about it and told him that he really should call his dad first and see if he wanted to go instead ... if he couldn't, then he would go with him. He refused to call his bio-father - insisted that D go with him! So he did! But isn't it funny that the one person who makes him toe the line and doesn't let him get away with any of his usual crappola - he's crazy about him! I think D is actually very pleased to see his behavior improving and that what he's doing is having a good affect on him. This kid has never really had a positive male role model in his life, someone who really cares, and it's made a big difference in him. But I can see some potential pitfalls too. This 'roommate' arrangement won't last forever and then they will be going their seperate ways, and it will be sad all around because this child has come to rely on him so much.
And what's with the school having a "father/son" thing, especially in the middle of the day! Maybe it's just me, but it seems like anymore, there's an awful lot of kids that don't have "daddies" around to take them to something like this and they would be left out and couldn't participate! Sort of sad for those kids that couldn't go!