Daughter

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by pasajes4, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My precious 40 yr. old daughter and my 15 year old grandson have moved in with me. It was totally unexpected and has turned my life upside down ...again.

    My daughter is one of the sweetest people on the face of the earth and works long hard hours to provide for her family. She has had one man in her life period. She met him when she was 15 and married him at 20. She payed for college on her own and bought and paid for a house in 15 years time. Her husband could never hold down a job and it became pretty obvious that he was dealing with depression, anxiety, and mood swings. He was diagnosed and put on medication which he hated and refused to take. He did hustle and find odd jobs to cover his wants but never enough to help out. My daughter was ok with this and never complained. I kept my mouth shut even though it chapped my hide that she worked this hard.

    Fast forward to july. He becane delusional and thought that the government had planted a camera in her eye to spy on him (ther were other things such as government cars were following him everywhere). He decided to get a butcher knife to cut the camera out of her eye. She grabbed my gs and some clothes and has been here ever since.

    I don't know what she intends to do or how long this arrangement will last. I am letting her figure things out and learned real quick to keep my opinions to myself.

    It is so hard to watch all of this play out.
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. I can't imagine dealing with someone that is delusional and violent. I am glad you could take her and grandchild in.

    Be safe. Has she requested an order for protection? Would he try to come to your home? Can she get him evicted from her house? I hope everyone involved can get the help they need...

    Ksm
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Oh my dear Pasa stay strong and I do hope that this is a short lived remedy. I hope that your daughter and her husband figure out the care he needs. They are blessed to have you.
     
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry Pasa. What a difficult situation for your daughter and for you. Remember to take care of yourself in the midst of this storm.......sending prayers for all of you......
     
  5. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    How awful!

    Is your grandson doing OK?

    I remember you saying that he is a sweet and well-behaved young man. I hope this isn't affecting him too badly.
     
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    KSM, She called the police to report the incident. He was not there by the time they arrived. They filled out a report wich she took to the court house in her county. An order of protection was filed. That would have got him out of the house. It took 3 weeks to get a ruling. It was denied because he had not physically hurt her or their son. She cannot evict him. They were married at the time of purchase and Texas is a community property state. She will have to file for a divorce and be awarded the house. In the meantime he is destroying the property.

    She has filed a 72 hour psyc. hold, but he has managed to avoid getting picked up. He harasses her constantly and still the courts are dragging ttheir feet. He has decided that she wrote a book and it's all about him and that she has had a baby in secret a week ago. It is scary to think he is on the loose.
    Up until a few months ago, he was able to function fairly well. He took care of the house and cooked as well as taking care of the kids when they were little. He had a yard service that paid for his car expenses and his personal expenses.

    I would have thought drugs or alcohol but neither of them drink, smoke, or indulge in illegal activities. His mother passed when he was very young and it is said that she was a bit off.
     
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Apple, My grandson is doing ok. My daughter immediately sought counseling for the both of them. My granddaughter has been living on herr own for the past year and a half. She is concerned about her father and wants her mother and brother to be safe.
     
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I'm glad your grandkids and your daughter are doing well, considering the circumstances.

    His very bizarre delusions are concerning.

    I hope they can get him in for a mental health evaluation.
     
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  9. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Pasa

    What a horrific story. Prayers for all of you.

    Your daughter is so lucky to have you. I do hope she can get the house and that her husband gets the help he needs.

    This too shall pass (I keep telling myself that).

    Hugs
     
  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry that your daughter is going through this. I really hate how difficult it is to help a person suffering through mental illness.
     
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    OMG Pasa, this is horrible! Texas is sure different than Missouri...here they'll take action just on threats without any actual injury. I hope they find him soon. He's clearly a danger to himself and others.
     
  12. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Lil, I had the same experience when I tried to file one on my son after he made threats to burn down my house and I had the texts messages to back it up.
     
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Mental illness is so cruel. This seems to be very sudden onset of such severe symptoms. I wonder if he used something and it made things worse?

    I only wonder because I have an aunt who got caught up in a similar situation. She married a guy she had known for over a decade. He was a sweetheart. One evening he went to a union meeting and came home raving. He was out of his mind. After that he put her through absolute misery including physical abuse. She pulled away from the entire family because she was afraid of what he would do to us.

    She later learned that one of his buddies put meth in his beer at that union meeting. It literally destroyed his brain. It sent him into a spiral he didn't recover from. He didn't go buy meth or get hooked, but it triggered something in his brain. Sadly the statute of limitations had run out to press charges against the buddy, who did admit it when asked about it.

    I wonder if something similar may have happened.
     
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  14. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    pasa,

    When my husband was psychotic, I got more help from our local county mental health department than anyone else. One of the people there helped me to organize getting my husband into the hospital. She met me at my house with a bunch of cops and we forced him to the hospital.

    Each time I dealt with the police on my own, I got nowhere.

    I feel for your daughter. It is a terrible position.
     
  15. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    Does that 72 hours hold expire after a certain amount of time?
     
  16. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    ctmom, I don't know.
     
  17. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Saying a species prayer for you my Dear Pasa. Much love to you and tour family.
     
  18. Old-hand

    Old-hand Active Member

    Hugs to you and your family, Pasa.