Okay, our difficult child did something today that I don't know how to handle, and I can't really blame it on her difficult child-ness, but more on the fact that she is a kid who has been pulled away from her mum at a crucial moment in her life.... Here goes..... She went to stay all night with her grandparents (bio mom's mom and dad) who we know are good people and are safe. Problem is, she is only allowed visits with mom on certain days and they must be supervised by certain people. I was worried that if bio mom found out our difficult child would be so close, she might "happen to show up" at her parents' house so she could see her, and they are not technically allowed to supervise a visit, so we knew that could be a bad situation. I called our difficult child's CPS caseworker and asked her what we should do. She told me that our difficult child, the grandparents, and her bio mom know the rules and it is NOT our responsibility to point them out, but that if I found out somehow that she DID see bio mom when she was at grandparents' house, I WAS required to tell her. So my husband and I chose not to say anything, because we figured if they were going to arrange a "visit", that they would do it whether we said they could or couldn't...but if we made a point of saying they couldn't, then they would just make sure we didn't find out about it. Also, as CPS said, THEY KNOW THE RULES, it is THEIR responsibility to follow them. So when she came home this evening, I casually asked if she seen her bio mom while she was gone, and she said "yes." And I asked her if her bio mom came over to grandparents' house, and she said "no we went over to her house." and I asked if her grandpa took her over there and she said "no, me and my little cousin rode our bikes over there". So NOT ONLY did she have a "visit" with mom when she wasn't supposed to, and it was not supervised by an approved person, IT WASN'T SUPERVISED AT ALL!!!!! Now, my dilemma is this...I feel that it is my responsibility to inform her CPS caseworker of this offense, but at the same time, I feel that maybe we should just keep this between us and let it go.... I would almost be willing to let it go had bio mom come over to granparents' house, simply because she WOULD have had SOME RESEMBLANCE of supervision, and it would not have been at her little crack house...but the fact that it was unsupervised completely....that worries me a bit. I have not had a chance to talk to my husband about this yet, as Saturday's are his "guys night" and he is holed up in our pool house right now with all his friends...but I am not even sure how he will respond to this or what he will choose to do about it. Does anyone have any thoughts??????