Okay, let me set the stage. My dad has lived with me pretty much my entire life. With my first marriage, not as much, when I was single, all the time and now again in my second marriage, he has officially let his apartment go and moved in. So he has helped quite a bit raising my 2 easy child's as well as been around for my 3rd easy child and been in the house with my 3 difficult child's since my husband and I married. In the last few years he has been getting onto me for telling my husband when the difficult child's misbehave. The difficult children are my husbands from his first marriage, but I consider all of my children, my children. I have since day one. I only clarify our situation if someone gets confused and needs clarification. So, my dad thinks I shouldn't tell my husband when the difficult children misbehave because it just makes my husband mad and it makes him feel like a failure. I disagree, because he is my husband and I believe if I can't talk to him about what goes on in my day, this is bad for our relationship. I also feel like he should know what goes on with the difficult children. Especially since until I can legally adopt my difficult children, he is the one who deals with doctors etc. I go to the appointments as often as I can, but it means finding a sitter for the other 3. The psychiatrist office is the size of a loveseat, so you can't take 2 adults and 6 kids in there. 2 adults and 3 kids is already packed. On a most recent rant of my dads, he said that "If you did more things with the difficult children they would want to behave better for you." Well, of all 3 of us, my dad, my husband and I, I take all 6 kids on more outtings than anyone. I like to go out with my kids. The only stipulation I have is that they behave before hand and during. Now you all know how difficult that can be with 1 difficult child, 3 is almost impossible. So while I do take them out the most of the 3 of us, this still ends up being once or twice a week at most during the summer. Those of you who have read the book also know what Mr. Greene says, rewards don't work on these children and they are already motivated to do right, they just can't sometimes. Okay, now all this being said, my dad wants to take the 2 PCs to Florida for vacation. He did this last year. I don't think its fair to my difficult children. The second year in a row that they miss out, I think it stinks. Well, I told my dad this, but the conversation started with him and it was in front of the kids. Grrrr...anyways, he tells me "Well the easy child's deserve it. It's not fair to them that the 3 difficult child's don't behave so they miss out." So now, hes not taking the PCs either and my oldest easy child is needless to say, a tad POed at me. Was I right in standing up for my difficult children and saying its not fair? Did I just make matters worse?