Hanging-On
New Member
Need thoughts on all of this, please.
If you remember difficult child came home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in June10. It was a horrible start. He was not stable on medications, which at present we have worked on and I think are doing so much better. His behavior at school and after school with his BMS providers is GREAT. BUT at home he treats us like dirt. He cuses me out almost everyday, calls me fg b several times a week (which is better, since it was several times a day), orders me around, throws a 2yr old tantrum when he doesnt get his way, throws things at me (mostly my face and head), punches & kicks me, and tries to kick my knees in backwards to break them, is harmful to easy child, and basically makes our lives a living hell. easy child has told me he doesnt want difficult child at home, and that he cries and is sad the way difficult child hurts me all the time.
I have been told by his providers that its good that he is behaving so well outside the home. It shows that what Ive been teaching him he is using outside the home, and that his support services are working. But that the problem is in the home. I am pleased that he is using his skills outside the home, but Im devastated beyond words that he doesnt use any skills at home. Im not only tired of them telling me this and not helping me resolve it, but Im exhausted, depressed, sad beyond words to tears, and basically living the life of the battered wife syndrome just to not have it worse at home. I have mentally and emotionally shut down in regards to difficult child, and provide his care as a robot. When he throws a tantrum I just walk away and remove all things that are mine and easy child's that he would destroy. My bedroom is now a pile of stuff, literally. My stress level is flooding me with cortisol with the result of gaining back 20 lbs since hes been home, all of which I lost while he was gone.
I just dont know what to do. My mom says he has to go because hes destroying our lives, and my business and any hope of earning a living; which is 100% true. But hes my son, and I have to raise him. Theres no one else. So, I live in hopelessness and despair, and grieve over what easy child has to live with.
I know a lot of you would say put him in another Residential Treatment Center (RTC), hospital or foster care. But these things are only temporary solutions, and we would be right back where we are now. I need a permanent solution to how he is at home.
Thanks for listening.
If you remember difficult child came home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in June10. It was a horrible start. He was not stable on medications, which at present we have worked on and I think are doing so much better. His behavior at school and after school with his BMS providers is GREAT. BUT at home he treats us like dirt. He cuses me out almost everyday, calls me fg b several times a week (which is better, since it was several times a day), orders me around, throws a 2yr old tantrum when he doesnt get his way, throws things at me (mostly my face and head), punches & kicks me, and tries to kick my knees in backwards to break them, is harmful to easy child, and basically makes our lives a living hell. easy child has told me he doesnt want difficult child at home, and that he cries and is sad the way difficult child hurts me all the time.
I have been told by his providers that its good that he is behaving so well outside the home. It shows that what Ive been teaching him he is using outside the home, and that his support services are working. But that the problem is in the home. I am pleased that he is using his skills outside the home, but Im devastated beyond words that he doesnt use any skills at home. Im not only tired of them telling me this and not helping me resolve it, but Im exhausted, depressed, sad beyond words to tears, and basically living the life of the battered wife syndrome just to not have it worse at home. I have mentally and emotionally shut down in regards to difficult child, and provide his care as a robot. When he throws a tantrum I just walk away and remove all things that are mine and easy child's that he would destroy. My bedroom is now a pile of stuff, literally. My stress level is flooding me with cortisol with the result of gaining back 20 lbs since hes been home, all of which I lost while he was gone.
I just dont know what to do. My mom says he has to go because hes destroying our lives, and my business and any hope of earning a living; which is 100% true. But hes my son, and I have to raise him. Theres no one else. So, I live in hopelessness and despair, and grieve over what easy child has to live with.
I know a lot of you would say put him in another Residential Treatment Center (RTC), hospital or foster care. But these things are only temporary solutions, and we would be right back where we are now. I need a permanent solution to how he is at home.
Thanks for listening.