difficult child's new friend is on drugs and I am going to report her


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difficult child is going to hate me for this, but her newfound friend is bringing drugs to school and now I am going to have to notify the school. She admitted to me that her new friend drinks and does drugs. Her friend, who I'll call B, brought LSD to school the week before spring break, and offered it to difficult child. I am very grateful that difficult child chose to do the smart thing and refused the drugs. However, this is not something I feel I can let go. B is a danger to herself and possibly others. difficult child says this girl smokes marijuana and pops pills, and she frequently brings them with her to school.

I am going to notify the school psychologist, who also happens to work at my school. I am going to ask to remain anonymous. Despite my anonymity, I am sure that once this girl gets busted, difficult child is going to know I am the one who spoke up and said something. She is going to be furious with me. She finally made a friend, and now I'm going to blow it for her. However, I don't feel like I have much of a choice. I hope difficult child can understand my reasonings and forgive me. I'm bummed her only friend is probably going to be expelled, but she is not the best influence. This girl had a baby at the age of 13 and now her son is in foster care. All she talks about is having sex with boys. Now the drugs. I hope and pray difficult child can find it in her heart to forgive me, and she can find another friend who is a better influence. Wish me luck.


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I wouldn't worry about difficult child forgiving you - the problem is much bigger than that. I would worry about difficult child making appropriate friends who are good influences. Best Wishes for your difficult child


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Honestly, I'd rather my daughter have no friends than a scary one like that. Report her. She is breaking the law and is a poor influence on other kids (including your daughter). A thirteen year old who takes drugs and already had a baby needs a special placement, not regular school.

Your daughter will have to deal with it. In time, this girl very well may have talked her into doing some of that stuff. In fact, you don't know that she didn't. No kid confesses that they used drugs (or tried them).

Hugs and you are doing the right thing.

I'd be more concerned with why your daughter befriended her in the first place. And I'd talk to her about it too.


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Your daughter told you about the drinking and drugs, so it sounds like she wasn't feeling all that great about this girl pushing her to do things like that. I think she will appreciate your reporting the girl and will feel much safer that you have done so, even if she seems angry about it.

Good grief, I hope B gets the help she needs too!


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I think you are doing the right thing by reporting "B". If your difficult child did know that you were the one to report "B", I'd understand that she would be angry. Why does your difficult child have to know it was you? When your difficult child tells you what happens to "B", I'd act as shocked as the next guy and never let your difficult child or anyone else know it was you. Why borrow trouble when you don't have to?


Just wanted to chime in and say that I agree that you are doing the right thing. It's a tribute to your relationship that your difficult child told you. For me, your issue brings me right to the whole hard thing of parenting-- the constant need to plant the walls for them to rail against, and then endure the railing so they know they are safe. You are acting not only to protect your own daughter, but also to help this other kid into a situation that can tend to her needs.