Well, thanks to everyone who responded to my other thread about psychopathy in our difficult children. I believe our oldest difficult child lacks a developed conscience. This allows him to easily behave in a manner that is inconsiderate of others. Not only is he inconsiderate, but I think he enjoys intentionally hurting my husband and me. We have been busy working on detaching from JT's drama, and it seems to be working. JT doesn't like it, though. He still sends me one-liner text messages, hoping for a reaction from me. Here are some examples: Texted me that I was going to be a grandma. Didn't mention who the mother-to-be was or anything. Just left it like that. I didn't respond. I could only assume it was the girlfriend whom he called the police on for threatening to shoot JT with the gun (rifle, supposedly unloaded) he has sitting out in his apartment. But hey, she paid some of his rent, cooked, cleaned, and let him use her truck. Weeks later he texted me that I wasn't going to be a grandma after all, and he said he was sorry if he "freaked me out". I responded that I wouldn't be freaked out anyway because I am detaching from HIS drama. Then, he texted me a one-liner that he asked a girl he dated on and off since high school to marry him. This is the fourth girlfriend in less than six months. She said yes. I didn't respond. It must have irritated JT that I didn't respond, so he forwarded a picture message to me of a graphic that read something like, "The nicest people I've ever met were covered in tattoos and piercings. The most judgmental people I've met are the ones who go to church every Sunday." Yes, I go to church every Sunday. He should remember that some of those "judgmental" people who go to church every Sunday are praying for him! I didn't respond. A picture forwarded to me this past weekend with no words. It was just a picture of JT with a little girl at a campground. I am guessing the little girl is the daughter of the girlfriend he is now supposedly engaged to marry. I don't know, because he doesn't explain. What does he want from me? I didn't respond. husband was driving over to his parents' place for the holiday weekend, and a car drove past, with someone waving at him. Later, he realized it was JT with his girlfriend and a little girl in the back seat. They were driving the girlfriend's car. JT doesn't have an operating vehicle. husband immediately received a text from JT asking why he had ignored him at the stop sign. He went on that he has a job and is earning every penny and that he is getting married and wants his mom and dad to be there for him; that he is getting his life back on track. husband responded that he didn't know it was him at the stop sign, and JT texted back, "Oh, otherwise I was offended." HE was offended? Really? Let me tell you about what offends us! Using our technology to view porn. Getting jailed for underage drinking and distributing alcohol to minors. Failing college when fully capable of succeeding. Lying about everything. Using and manipulating people. Abusing alcohol and pain pills. Nonstop bragging and boasting; living in complete fantasy about exceptional abilities and talents. Shooting small animals for fun, even if legal. Failing to pay bills or keep promises. Faking injury to collect workers comp. Refusing to leave cigarettes, knives, and lighters, etc. in his truck when he comes to our house. Refusing to call before he drops in wanting something. Disrespectful language toward us. Sleeping/living with different girlfriends all the time. Mooching off of others. These are the things that offend me. I don't know how to reconcile this so we can have any kind of relationship. How do we even visit with someone like this? I don't honestly like anything about him right now, and that's the sad truth. Every day is a new day to JT. He actually feels entitled to our time, attention, and support, not to mention respect. He acts as if we are so terrible for wanting to distance ourselves from him right now and as if he is so great because he has held a job for six months. I'm glad he has kept a job, but it doesn't make up for the dishonorable person that he has become. Today I received a call from an Army Reserve recruiter about JT. Apparently, JT completed an application this month and he left our phone number. Why? JT has his own cell phone. Did he want me to get this call from the recruiter? There is some history here, as about a year ago, JT had also applied for the National Guard, and we were concerned because we knew he had issues that should have disqualified him for eligibility. Well, the recruiter told JT to lie on his application about his ADHD and medications. We were so concerned, we called the recruiting office and reported it. Needless to say, that ended the process at that time. Now, here he is applying again. He has been on ADHD medication in the past year, switched to Vyvanse, and he also has two underage drinking citations and the arrest for distributing alcohol to minors. His credit record is horrible, and on and on. I hope he doesn't get accepted. I know there are waivers in certain situations, etc., but I wouldn't think he would qualify even on waiver. But, I am detaching and disengaging from all of this drama. So, I just gave the recruiter JT's current phone number and left it at that. This afternoon, JT texted me that he now has an iphone 5s because he switched to his girlfriend's cell phone plan. He uses people, and I so detest that about him. He has bailed out on people before that have allowed him on their cell plans, leaving them stuck with the bill. He is also driving his girlfriend's car. Most of these gfs don't last two weeks with him before they figure out what a user he is. I guess he just wanted me to know that he is willing, once again, to lie to the military and use his new girlfriend. I think he knows I know who he really is, and he is taunting me, because he knows my conscience wants to intervene for the sake of the military and this girlfriend. But, I am choosing a new path now.