Do your difficult child's Debt Collectors Call you?

Stress Bunny

Active Member
Lately, JT's debt collection agencies have been calling here. This has happened in the past as well. JT has been keeping a very good full-time job and makes a good income doing it, for the past seven months or so. He has been living in his own apartment since February. The problem is that he apparently doesn't use his money to pay his bills.

husband and I are both full-time working professionals, and we have always paid our bills. husband helped JT set up a budget and bill filing system when he moved out and offered numerous times to help him organize and manage his money. JT refused, likely because he immediately began spending money above and beyond his budget on dumb stuff, i.e. tools and truck toys.

Two years ago, when JT went off to college, he got himself a Sears card (against our advice and without telling us), and he maxed it out buying a bunch of tools. He also has student loan debt, though he has nothing to show for it, since he flunked out after two semesters. Lately, medical bills have come in for him for ER visits, etc., and he hasn't been paying those. Of course, JT has plenty of cash to buy his cigarettes and alcohol, apparently, and heaven knows what else.

I texted JT that his debt collectors are calling here again and that we're going to take steps to stop the harassment. He texted back that he was going to work overtime this weekend to "shut them up". I couldn't resist texting back that they will shut up when he pays up!!!

Of course he doesn't feel any sense of empathy for the trouble this causes us on a daily basis. He doesn't feel the least concern for how this affects anyone but him.

Anyway, I have two questions for all of you wise ones about this:

  • How do we get the collection agencies to stop calling our home? When we answer, we do tell them that JT does not live here and to please stop calling. So, I'm not sure if it's the same places calling or different ones all the time.
  • Do your difficult children have difficulty accepting financial responsibility for themselves? Is this part of gift-from-god-dom? Words of wisdom?


Well-Known Member
We never had that happen, but you know how debt collection agencies are. I wouldn't even pick up their calls or anything I didn't recognize. They can't do anything to YOU because of an adult's bills. I'm not sure if there is a way to get debt collector's to stop calling. Maybe somebody will know. But, hey, it's not your problem.

I do think it's the rule that most difficult children don't think about the future. If they want something now, they buy it and hope you'll pay the bill. If not, it's no big deal to them. Things they want are free as far as they are concerned. They want a lot and don't want to work to earn them...a conflict to say the least. Your son probably has no interest in paying his debts off. IF it were me, I wouldn't even waste my time telling him about the calls. All you'll get is lies and aggravation.


I used to work in collections for many years. As each collector calls, get the name of the agency and thier address. Then send a blanket letter to each of them listing your name, address, and phone number and tell them to absolutely not contact you anymore. JT could actually do this as well even though he technically owes them. If they call you after you do this they are in violation of the fair debt collection practices act and you can sue them for up to 100x of whatever the original debt is.

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Well-Known Member
I've had hassle from The Student Loans Company. In the UK, undergraduate students take out loans to pay university fees and living expenses. These are paid back when they graduate and are earning above a certain threshold, deducted automatically from pay. The trouble is that graduates have to keep the SLC informed about where they live, work, etc by law. Automated computer forms do not have any boxes for 'homeless' or 'penniless'. You have to give an address and show how you are supporting yourself financially. I've had endless conversations with them explaining that my son is homeless and doesn't work or claim benefits, but is self-sufficient through foraging, growing stuff and raiding store dumpsters. They have a 'computer says no' mentality and refuse to believe that someone could live like this. I now send any letters from them straight back with "not known at this address" written on the envelopes. You can't fight a system like this so I've just switched off. They can hunt him down and confiscate some of his mud as a down payment if they want to.


Well-Known Member
I have gotten calls for my difficult child.... from a debt agency and of course from the police looking for him. I tell them he doesnt live there anymore and then give them his phone number! I guess in the case of his probation officer I told him I would tell him he needed to call them asap!

You dont need to be harrassed and you dont need to protect him either.


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Well-Known Member
Yes we use to get calls all the time about difficult child's debts. In the beginning I said there was no s0-and-so at this number and to stop calling and hung up. Then I got pretty good at identifying the telephone numbers they were calling from and I blocked their numbers.


Well-Known Member
Not with Miss KT...but with her father after he moved out. I was nice and helpful and told them all where they could find him...address, phone number, and place of employment.


yes, numerous calls for years. most of the time I do not answer. now i just tell them he does not live here or else I tell them there is nobody here by that name and do not call back. Slowly they are becoming fewer and fewer.

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Quid me anxia?
Some companies buy old debt, I'm still getting called because of my difficult children. These calls seem to be coming from India now!


Well-Known Member
I am now getting calls from difficult child 34's creditors, and the police departments of 2 small towns. I will put a stop to the creditors calls and I can't give the police anything because I don't know where he is.