Does your husband say one thing but mean the opposite?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tinamarie1, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    This is really getting on my nerves. Let me give you a few examples here lately:
    * The kids are in Louisiana for 3 weeks visiting grandparents. So ding a ling Tina decides to go walk around the animal shelter. Realistically I know that we do not need another dog. We have one, but she is the baby of the family and does not do well around other dogs usually. husband calls me when I am at the shelter and tells me if I want to get a dog thats ok with him. I found a pure bred Sheltie there so sweet. We bring our monster dog to the shelter to meet the Sheltie and she was aggressive towards her. So after tossing and turning all night last night and worrying that the sweet Sheltie would get hurt if we brought her home, I called the shelter this am and explained this to them. We were not able to pick her up until next week anyway and I have no doubts someone will adopt her. All day yesterday husband told me that he would leave this decision up to me. Then when he came home and I told him, he would NOT speak to me alllll day long! Then was mad at me because I didn't want to go out on a "date" with him. AS IF!
    * Scenario #2 I put husband through nursing school for 5 years. I busted my behind working so he could finish school. He told me when he graduated that I could stay home if I wanted. So, here I am..stay at home mom. He asked me last night "what are you going to be doing while the kids are in school this fall?" I said, why do I have to be "doing something"? He said "well you have been going stir crazy since the kids have been gone, I just think you need to be doing something".
    I swear I think every time he says to do something or its my decision, he means as long as its what HE would want. ughhhh!
    I just needed to vent, he is on my reserve nerve.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    So have you asked him what's up with the silent treatment?

    Maybe he needs it spelled out in black & white like my husband how pi$$ing you off is not the way to your heart?
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    sorry he is doing that. On most things my husband is not like that. So all's I can do is send some hugs.

  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Does your husband say one thing but mean the opposite?

    Nearly everyday, if not every week there is something.

    It sounds like you should use this opportunity while the kiddos are gone to hash out a few things. Talk, cry, scream if you need to and then have some makeup sex.

    I am really beginning to believe that men really are from Mars...and we're 'just different'.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You've definitely got some unresolved issues floating around there. I'd set up a pow wow. You could meet at a park, and have dinner afterward.
    Clearly, he was upset about the dog. And it did seem as though he was excited about it. But then he said it was your decision ... meaning, what? Ask him that when you have your pow wow.
    Because I think leaving it this way is a bad idea.
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    All the time! One time it backfired on him - We were invited as always to his Sister's home (the good sister). husband was complaining about going (unusual) so I called sister in law and told her we would not be coming. :(

    husband found out I had cancelled the trip and asked why I did that since he was looking forward to some events?

    When I replied that he said he didn't want to go, he answered, "But you always do whatever you want to anyway!" So the one time I actually take his input into consideration and I end up doing what he doesn't want me to do? :mad:

    I called and rescheduled the visit. ;) LOL!!!

    Just like some difficult children, I have learned that husband's words are not always what they mean and as long as I continue doing what I want to do, he will be happy?
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Not my current Hubby, thank goodness! But Useless Boy...all the freaking time. I finally figured out that by leaving it all up to me, he could avoid any semblance of responsibility, and then whatever happened would be "my fault", and he would be blameless and perfect. But if I forced an issue, he instantly became "The Victim", and he couldn't understand why I was so upset when it was no big deal, anyway.

    I have seven years worth of stories like this. Wish I knew why it took me so long to smarten up.
  8. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Yep. Nuff said.

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hugs - sending you that Pillow Terry mentioned to scream into or crawl under.