I have a 22 year old and 19 year old daughter. My youngest is going to school to be a pilot, and has joined the air guard, and just came home to spend Christmas with us. My oldest is going to school for Spanish, but has had a difficult time being successful in college due to depression and other issues. She came home a couple of weeks ago, and told me that she feels everyone is so proud of my youngest, everyone meaning extended family members, and thinks she is worthless. I tried everything I could to let her know how proud I was of her, and how much I loved her.
I have been excited for a month for tonight. I spent all day yesterday baking, bought presents for both of them, and planned an evening of fonduing, decorating the tree, and just having a really special night. At 5:00, I opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate us being together, brought out some shrimp and other appetizers, and gave the kids their gifts. The gift I gave each of my girls was a very pretty nativity scene. My oldest rolled her eyes, and had a look of anger on her face. She has denied her faith, and it breaks my heart. I ignored her, and later told her in a light voice that she could feel free to return it. During the rest of the time she continued to text on her phone, even after I asked her not to. My youngest then got angry at something and left. I was hurt and left.
My youngest apologized, but when we confronted my oldest about her behavior, she informed us she did nothing wrong. I told ehr that she seems so angry, and that she doesn't accept how her behavior affects others. She proceeded to be cold and blame us for being "weird". I then went too far and told her she seemed so cold and wasn't able to be loving. She got up and said she was leaving and would find another place to stay for the time she was home. I started to beg her to talk about this, but she continued to say I was "disgusting". A few hours later, I again tried to talk to her and kept apologizing for what I had said, that I was hurt by the texting and how she reacted with the gift. She still will not talk to me and again called me "f.ed up and disgusting".
I am so sick about this and can't believe she talked to me like this. I feel like I have given her everything, and am always there for her, but she seems angry so often and anytime she hears me discussing anything related to faith or my politics, she will get angry and say rude comments.
I don't know if we are giving her so much that we are contributing to her behavior of disrespect, or if she really feels like we favor my younger daughter. I love both of my daughters more than everything. When my oldest was born, I finally felt that I had a purpose for living. Now I feel like things are getting so messed up, that I am the contributing factor and this causes me more depression and guilt than I have ever thought I could possibly feel.
Sorry this is so long, but I truly would be so appreciative of any help or insight you could give me. Any questions you have, I will try to answer as honestly as possible.
I have been excited for a month for tonight. I spent all day yesterday baking, bought presents for both of them, and planned an evening of fonduing, decorating the tree, and just having a really special night. At 5:00, I opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate us being together, brought out some shrimp and other appetizers, and gave the kids their gifts. The gift I gave each of my girls was a very pretty nativity scene. My oldest rolled her eyes, and had a look of anger on her face. She has denied her faith, and it breaks my heart. I ignored her, and later told her in a light voice that she could feel free to return it. During the rest of the time she continued to text on her phone, even after I asked her not to. My youngest then got angry at something and left. I was hurt and left.
My youngest apologized, but when we confronted my oldest about her behavior, she informed us she did nothing wrong. I told ehr that she seems so angry, and that she doesn't accept how her behavior affects others. She proceeded to be cold and blame us for being "weird". I then went too far and told her she seemed so cold and wasn't able to be loving. She got up and said she was leaving and would find another place to stay for the time she was home. I started to beg her to talk about this, but she continued to say I was "disgusting". A few hours later, I again tried to talk to her and kept apologizing for what I had said, that I was hurt by the texting and how she reacted with the gift. She still will not talk to me and again called me "f.ed up and disgusting".
I am so sick about this and can't believe she talked to me like this. I feel like I have given her everything, and am always there for her, but she seems angry so often and anytime she hears me discussing anything related to faith or my politics, she will get angry and say rude comments.
I don't know if we are giving her so much that we are contributing to her behavior of disrespect, or if she really feels like we favor my younger daughter. I love both of my daughters more than everything. When my oldest was born, I finally felt that I had a purpose for living. Now I feel like things are getting so messed up, that I am the contributing factor and this causes me more depression and guilt than I have ever thought I could possibly feel.
Sorry this is so long, but I truly would be so appreciative of any help or insight you could give me. Any questions you have, I will try to answer as honestly as possible.