Don't know what to say


Active Member
difficult child and I visited the camp she will attend, for 3 weeks, starting July 27th. We wanted her to know where she was going, so that when the time comes, she will be less anxious. It is a specialized camp for kids with social anxiety, learning disabilities, ADHD, Aspergers and mainstream kids. So throughout the tour we met many kids, some who had a visible disability and as many, if not more, with no visible disability. However, I get the feeling that she zoned in on the kids with a visible disability and that she is feeling bad about herself, because we are placing her in this enrivornment. It feels like it's the elephant in the room and I want to talk to her about it, but I'm not sure what to say. I know she longs to be "normal", but she has some challenges and needs a specialized environment. I heard her talking to a friend last night. She was telling her about the camp but when asked the name of it, she said she couldn't remember it. She definitely did not forget the name, so I assume she feels ashamed and didn't want to say, in case the friend looked up the camp. I just have no idea what the best way to handle this is?!

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Hugs to your difficult child. I think this is a hard one for our difficult children who definitely need these types of environments but don't want to appear not "normal". I know my difficult child is conscious about this type of thing even though he realizes he has disabilities. We have always talked to him about why he needs the type of accommodations he gets and he has become more accepting of these things although I am not sure he would want his friends to always know (although with my difficult child the disabilities are obvious).

We were also very lucky when it came to camps because there was a great camp that accepted kids with and without abilities. They always hired more support the more kids they received with disabilities.


Well-Known Member
You could explain that no matter what camp she goes to there will be kids with disabilities. Show her a few websites that show "normal" camps that have kids with visible disabilities attending. That way she would know that her camp is no different than any other and she shouldn't feel being around kids with visible disabilities limits or defines her.

Here is a link to a regular 4H camp that accomodates kids in wheelchairs