Don't quite know what to think...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, Jan 1, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    difficult child called sat. to say he was coming home. difficult child calls a little later and him and girlfriend have hit a deer. difficult child comes in at about 10, dumps his dirty clothes out of his bag onto bed, then proceeds to fill his bag with clean clothes. I said to him "I thought you said you were staying?" he said" I have got to go fix barbie's car now I can't stay"
    After a little back and forth, all I could think of was the quote from Ant's mom and I told him he was just using me as a storage unit for his clothes. He looked SHOCKED.
    He didn't say a word, then I asked him who was going to wash the dirty clothes on his bed? He put them in the hamper and said he would get them later.
    Long storyshort~
    I went outside and looked @car, yes they did hit a deer
    I had a pretty long conversation with Barbie, I can't figure out if she's a difficult child, or fixer, or a little of both.
    She is 22, lives w\mom and now that is where my difficult child has been staying :frown:
    we say our goodbyes and they leave.
    The next morning difficult child and barbie show up right after breakfast. difficult child is calm (I have learned this is not always good with a cocaine user) Washed, dried, putup his clothes. He made ham\cheese bisquits for them, and even offered to iron easy child's shirt.He told me he loved me before he left, he gave me barbie's home and cell #'s.
    Told me he was starting a job tuesday, he loves me and will call soon. He called tonight, said I love you and I will tell about the job tomorrow night. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????? Is he feeling remorse for using when he got out of rehab? Was he embarrassed and is now holding his head up because he found a job? Has barbie changed him??? I am dumbfounded by his actions this weekend~ I haven't seen him on a weekend in 4 yrs, unless he was locked up and I was visiting.
  2. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    :confused:Didn't want to go into the whole long story, but they were at my house from about 9:30am till 4:00pm. And both of them acted right at home. I met her for the first time the night before. I am confused?????!!!!!!

    TYLERFAN New Member

    Hi hearthope:

    I guess I would be alittle suspicious too.
    Maybe this relationship with this girl is helping him....time will tell.
    I know how hard it is with a coke user. This is my difficult child's drug of choice too. I think I would relish the time alone and do something nice for yourself. You can't control or stop anything from happening even if he is at home. Maybe he really is serious about changing his life...again only time will tell.
    Wishing you the best.

  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I guess the only thing you can do is wait and see if it continues. Maybe he's not using now and maybe this girl is good for him. Miracles do happen!! I would just sit back and wait. There really isn't much else you can do. Hope the job goes well for him.
  5. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Melissa and Kfld ~ Maybe you two are right. I just was really taken back by the way the two of them acted. I learned (afterthefact) that when he was calm and really talking to me he was high on cocaine.
    I am just waiting, I was prepared to tell him to get his stuff and leave yet, he has called in each night. Barbie asked me if he was calling, she said that she had been reminding him to call.
    Like I said in the earlier post, I was trying to determine why he had such a drastic change. When he called on a weekend to say he was coming home, I just lay in the bed with all sorts of thoughts running through my head. This is a difficult child that believes you are supposed to be partying on the weekend, when he was here, we never saw him on the weekend.
    Then, I thought, Did he feel ashamed at all about the things he has done wrong and now that he has found a job he feels better? I mean he has been gone pretty much since we went to court. All he has told me when I question him is I got this mom, let me do it.
    Then of course is the other thoughts. Are him and barbie high? Did they come by to eat? Is the reason they seemed so at home was because they were in a drug induced calmness?
    I am just waiting, I guess my wondering what is really going on should be put on the back burner.

    Melissa I am going on with my life, we no longer bend under difficult child pressures and needs. We are enjoying the break we are having, honestly I enjoyed him being here for that day. He was very pleasent. I guess that is why I have so many red flags ~ dealing with him is not usually pleasent. The last time he was home and pleasent to be around is when I found out he was being so nice because he was high on coke.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I can't offer any ideas for your son's changes other than to enjoy the reprieve :biggrin:. If it's bad news, you'll find out soon enough...

  7. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I will just enjoy the break. I have learned to not get my hopes up. Hopefully it is him seeing the light and not living in a drug induced fog