Duckie was upset today...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    by the behavior another student displayed. "M", a boy in another multiage classroom, has some kind of issue... he has a PCA and I've heard he's had several outbursts. I won't hazard a guess on an underlying diagnosis. Well, he lost it on a substitute apparently. The students move between classroom at different times throughout the day and this sub gave him a direction (along with the other students present).

    Poor Duckie was very upset with M and a little frightened by his outburst. She said children shouldn't speak to adults like that. So I told her the little bit I'd pieced together. We talked about ODD and some of the possible triggers for M's behavior and that he may not have been able to stop himself from yelling and being rude. I also pointed out her ODD diagnosis and that I'm very thankful she only tends to direct that at me and not at the adults at school.

    She asked me if it was okay for M to behave that way, I told her no but I also told her that I'm sure he's receiving some extra help with whatever the issue is just like other students might receive help in reading, math or get Occupational Therapist (OT) services.

    And I told her to be kind and thoughtful when interacting with M, because he probably has a harder road ahead of him than most of the other kids. She seemed to understand.
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    That's our girl. She definitely has her idea of right and wrong and that is huge! I'm sure your talk with her was helpful. Poor "M".
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks ML for the response. I'm concerned because Duckie doesn't connect the dots between her behavior at home and other difficult children behavior, she can be quick to condemn. I hope she learns some compassion and patience for the other difficult children out there.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Wiped Out, I can't count how many times the tweedles came home because they were confused or upset about another classmates issues/behaviors.

    I trod very lightly when I explained the situation (as I was filled in by teacher) to the other peer's issues. I didn't want to give kt or wm fuel for the fire, nor did I want them to dismiss what we considered unacceptable behaviors.

    Saying that, with empathy comes the need of your difficult child (as mind did) to try to fix things. This is not Duckies problem to fix.

    I hope things were better today (so sorry I missed this sooner).

    Give the Duckster a big hug from this cyber auntie.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TM-Sounds like you handled it well-it's great Duckie seemed to understand! It's interesting; difficult child often seems very in tune to other difficult children who are having difficulty. Unless the difficult child is doing something to him he usually handles things very well. I noticed other day when easy child was being totally difficult child and throwing a huge tantrum how my difficult child did not get involved and try to cause more problems. He is often like that. One day when he was dropped off at my school one of my difficult children was being restrained. My difficult child looked at me and asked if he was having a very hard day with empathy in his voice.