BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I never had a typical teen girl, as almost everyone here knows. My last daughter had taken her first toke (is that the word?) of pot at age 12, but she didn't have intercourse until she was 17 (as I share this, using these words, I am blushing like a beet). But, as I've said before, she is older looking and pretty and interested in boys. Last year she had a "boyfriend." He is a year younger than her in school and comes up to her chin, but he's very well liked and she talked to him on the phone all the time. She would also see him when she went to our local skating rink. I'm sure nothing was going on, but I wasn't sad when she "broke up with him." Now they "lilke" each other again. Again, I"m sure nothing is going on, but something bothered me.
He gave her a necklace for Christmas and she lied about it and said they were just giving out necklaces at the skating place. I don't think she wants me to know that she likes him again. I noticed a new secrecy about boys. I have checked her MySpace and nothing is going on, however I'm going to tell her that I know she didn't get that necklace from the skating place for Christmas and make her fess up. What scares me now is that I'm reading so much about oral sex in middle school. I know my daughter isn't there yet. Again, please take my word on it. The most she's done with any boy is hug him (not even kiss). I do have my ways of finding out But how do you stop the oral sex? Right now if I talk about it with her, she blushes and hides her face and says, "Mother, that is GROSS!" or "You think I want AIDS????" But she won't engage in talk about sex. She just turns red and says, "Please, stop this. It's gross." She's only twelve and I think this is early for her to be so interested in boys. She's not allowed to date. But how do I get a good conversation going on about oral sex when she gets so embarassed and doesn't seem receptive? How do you guys handle this? Let's face it, what is gross to her this year may not be gross to her next year or the year after. The school has Sex Ed, but I feel like a lot of this has to come from me. We have a very good relationship. She is starting to hide some of her social life from me, but in a sort of normal way. She isn't going to tell me everything. I didn't tell my mother everything. So how can we teach our kids that they are too immature for sex of any kind and that, yes, oral sex is still sex? I've already said "condom" so often that she laughs when I use the word (and blushes). She is not a fearless kid and has a healthy fear of consequences. But I'm really overwhelmed by this issue. The more I read about it, the more I'm convinced that young teens really don't think that oral sex is that big a deal. I also think it is rampant. I know I can't 100% prevent it, but any suggesions on good things to say to her would be helpful. Remember, I've had two typical teen boys, but NO typical teen girls so I'm like a first timer. Thanks!!!
He gave her a necklace for Christmas and she lied about it and said they were just giving out necklaces at the skating place. I don't think she wants me to know that she likes him again. I noticed a new secrecy about boys. I have checked her MySpace and nothing is going on, however I'm going to tell her that I know she didn't get that necklace from the skating place for Christmas and make her fess up. What scares me now is that I'm reading so much about oral sex in middle school. I know my daughter isn't there yet. Again, please take my word on it. The most she's done with any boy is hug him (not even kiss). I do have my ways of finding out But how do you stop the oral sex? Right now if I talk about it with her, she blushes and hides her face and says, "Mother, that is GROSS!" or "You think I want AIDS????" But she won't engage in talk about sex. She just turns red and says, "Please, stop this. It's gross." She's only twelve and I think this is early for her to be so interested in boys. She's not allowed to date. But how do I get a good conversation going on about oral sex when she gets so embarassed and doesn't seem receptive? How do you guys handle this? Let's face it, what is gross to her this year may not be gross to her next year or the year after. The school has Sex Ed, but I feel like a lot of this has to come from me. We have a very good relationship. She is starting to hide some of her social life from me, but in a sort of normal way. She isn't going to tell me everything. I didn't tell my mother everything. So how can we teach our kids that they are too immature for sex of any kind and that, yes, oral sex is still sex? I've already said "condom" so often that she laughs when I use the word (and blushes). She is not a fearless kid and has a healthy fear of consequences. But I'm really overwhelmed by this issue. The more I read about it, the more I'm convinced that young teens really don't think that oral sex is that big a deal. I also think it is rampant. I know I can't 100% prevent it, but any suggesions on good things to say to her would be helpful. Remember, I've had two typical teen boys, but NO typical teen girls so I'm like a first timer. Thanks!!!