SuZir
Well-Known Member
easy child has had some major changes this fall. He started High School and changed school from our smallish, semi-rural, everyone knows everyone middle school to bigger High school in the centre of nearby big city. Most of his middle school friends continued in local High school or went to other schools. He has only one old class mate in same school with him. He does however have few new classmates he knew beforehand. Still, almost all class mates are new. He did also change a sport club, so team mates are also new (he did know many beforehand though.) He is busy so he has very limited time for old friends and it is likely he will have less and less in common with his old neighbourhood friends (different schools etc. tend to do that.) So it is challenging time socially for easy child.
In his sport he is in middle ground between two junior teams and will likely play in both. Which one will be his main team will be seen. Other one is mainly for kids who are 16- or 17-year-olds, I think they have maybe few who are only 15. Other one is mainly for 18- and 19-year-olds and there are few over agers who are twenty, few under agers who are 17 and easy child is the youngest. Especially those 18 to 20-teams are known for hazing rookies, especially under agers. easy child's team luckily doesn't have as bad hazing tradition difficult child former team (the one which he was kicked out from) has, and easy child is much more adept to handle hazing than difficult child ever was, but I do worry some. Especially if he will end up spending most of his time with older kids team, the peer pressure will be high. There is also certain kind of 'cool jock' atmosphere around the sport and these older junior teams I'm not too fond with. Maybe one fourth of these kids end up pros or semi-pros for at least for some time, but they all tend to think they are very hot stuff (and unfortunately many girls tend to agree.) Some of the kids also begun to understand, that they will not be in that group that will make it (and it is dream for all of them) and there is always some jealousy going on when it comes to those who look like they may end up being in that one fourth (stars of the team and under agers.) That doesn't make very wholesome atmosphere.
There are other worries with all these changes, but alcohol is a big one. Legal drinking age around here is 18. Most kids start much earlier (more than half of our 15-16-year-old kids drink monthly according the studies.) 'The cool kids' tend to drink more. Kids of our minority tend to drink more than majority kids. Kids in easy child's sport are known of drinking more than many others. Our easy child has been caught drinking few times. He has likely drank quite a few times more. Last night he had permission to be out till 11 p.m. husband picked him up then and could smell he had been drinking. He confessed he had drank two beers (12 ounces.) Double or triple that and it may be close to truth I think (he wasn't really drunk, but he is a big kid.) He had been in the party of an older team mate (19-year-old, lives on his own.) easy child is currently grounded and will stay so next two weeks and even after that his curfew will be earlier for some time in weekends.
husband seems to think it is more about boys being boys, but I do worry about easy child hanging out with older boys. He is mature for his age (polar opposite to difficult child), but he is still only 16. And I really don't want him to get caught up on being so cool, he forgets his goals. When his season really starts, most of his weekends will be filled with games and tournaments and if he plans to be serious with his sport (as he says is his plan) all kind of drinking, staying up late etc. will be out of the question. But there probably will be kids in his team (which ever it will be), who are more serious about being cool and having fun than their sport and who will be able to sneak around coaches etc. I do worry easy child will get some pressure to join in.
I never thought that I would miss the times difficult child was in this position and was never invited and was so totally ostracised by his team mates (even before he started to steal from them)...
In his sport he is in middle ground between two junior teams and will likely play in both. Which one will be his main team will be seen. Other one is mainly for kids who are 16- or 17-year-olds, I think they have maybe few who are only 15. Other one is mainly for 18- and 19-year-olds and there are few over agers who are twenty, few under agers who are 17 and easy child is the youngest. Especially those 18 to 20-teams are known for hazing rookies, especially under agers. easy child's team luckily doesn't have as bad hazing tradition difficult child former team (the one which he was kicked out from) has, and easy child is much more adept to handle hazing than difficult child ever was, but I do worry some. Especially if he will end up spending most of his time with older kids team, the peer pressure will be high. There is also certain kind of 'cool jock' atmosphere around the sport and these older junior teams I'm not too fond with. Maybe one fourth of these kids end up pros or semi-pros for at least for some time, but they all tend to think they are very hot stuff (and unfortunately many girls tend to agree.) Some of the kids also begun to understand, that they will not be in that group that will make it (and it is dream for all of them) and there is always some jealousy going on when it comes to those who look like they may end up being in that one fourth (stars of the team and under agers.) That doesn't make very wholesome atmosphere.
There are other worries with all these changes, but alcohol is a big one. Legal drinking age around here is 18. Most kids start much earlier (more than half of our 15-16-year-old kids drink monthly according the studies.) 'The cool kids' tend to drink more. Kids of our minority tend to drink more than majority kids. Kids in easy child's sport are known of drinking more than many others. Our easy child has been caught drinking few times. He has likely drank quite a few times more. Last night he had permission to be out till 11 p.m. husband picked him up then and could smell he had been drinking. He confessed he had drank two beers (12 ounces.) Double or triple that and it may be close to truth I think (he wasn't really drunk, but he is a big kid.) He had been in the party of an older team mate (19-year-old, lives on his own.) easy child is currently grounded and will stay so next two weeks and even after that his curfew will be earlier for some time in weekends.
husband seems to think it is more about boys being boys, but I do worry about easy child hanging out with older boys. He is mature for his age (polar opposite to difficult child), but he is still only 16. And I really don't want him to get caught up on being so cool, he forgets his goals. When his season really starts, most of his weekends will be filled with games and tournaments and if he plans to be serious with his sport (as he says is his plan) all kind of drinking, staying up late etc. will be out of the question. But there probably will be kids in his team (which ever it will be), who are more serious about being cool and having fun than their sport and who will be able to sneak around coaches etc. I do worry easy child will get some pressure to join in.
I never thought that I would miss the times difficult child was in this position and was never invited and was so totally ostracised by his team mates (even before he started to steal from them)...
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