In 1996 I had a stage 0 cancerous pinpoint in a microcalification of my left breast. It was very controllable and most women would have, without blinking twice, have opted for a lumpectomy. Or even just watching it because it wasn't an immediate threat and had not spread anywhere. Well, me being me with my anxiety I said I wanted a masectomy. My dear, dear husband understood and supported me and I had one. Since it was not a radical masectomy, it was really not a big operation and I recovered fast, vacumming with my other hand two days later because I was antsy and couldn't stand the rug. It didn't surface again...until today. I went for my yearly mammo, which I never miss. They called me back in the imaging room from the waiting room andwanted to have another mammo... and my stomach tweaked a bit. I had another one, which the X-ray tech explained was a larger one so that the radiologist could see it larger and see if I needed an ultrasound. The x-ray tech let me see my ex-ray and it was really cool. I'd never seen a microcalification before. Apparently there were some there that were not there last year. Now they are NOT cancer, but can hold itty bitty cancers in them, which would warrent their removal. So... I got called back again from the waiting room and I was not happy and was a little nervous, but, hey, I went willingly. The Radiologist, whom everyone says is very thorough, which I think it s good thing, wanted the ultra-sound, which showed up not only the microcalcification but a lymph node that had not been there last year. I'd had a lymph node before, and it was benign, but being Mr. Conservative, he also did a songogram. I was at the hospital for a long time. Everyone was so sweet and reassuring. I felt warm and fuzzy. The results will be back Tuesday or Wednesday. I was assured that this is not life threatening. That if the worst comes back, and the lymph node is cancer, it would be a Stage II and also higly curable and that a mastectomy would take care of it. That's all well and good, but what if it all comes back, well, different than last year, but cancer free? I had a long talk with my doctor's MA (can't believe this angel took so much time with me) and asked if I could just have a mastectomy, since that breast was at risk and since I just plain couldn't handle the stress of worrying about breast cancer every single year. She talked to me and assured me that if I wanted this, the surgeon would do it with my history both of stage 0 breast cancer in my other breast and the new microcalification surprises plus lymph node in the other breast. My husband was with me every step of the way. I mean, I bless his wonderful, always-there support. We decided, as we drove home, that I would have the mastectomy even if there is no cancer...yet. And so the decision is a done deal. And I still don't know if there is any cancer. Either way, the breast is gone. I will be the breastless wonder And, no, I have no desire for surgery to enhance my breasts. I will just wear prosthetic bras. Please send prayers. I am kind of scared. Not REAL scared, but kind of. But it will be what it is. And I have a busy weekend at work and will not allow myself to dwell on the results, which won't come yet. Either way, the decision has been made. It is final. DONE!!!! I just wanted to share this with my board family and friends. by the way, I did have the BRCA-1 test and it was negative. I did have a few red flags...the cancerous first microcalification showed up at age 43, which is young. Also, my famly is 100% Akanazi Jewish. No, I do not in any way stay connected to that religion, but it is my ethnicity and the rate of the BRCA-1 gene is higher amongst us. Ok, no responses needed. Just a vent. Over and out I have to get my beauty rest (haha...there's not enough hours in the night....) so that I can look good for work in the morning. You all take care and get those mammos. They are lifesaving.