So glad to have somewhere for support, as I am in truly desperate need for it today.
So, my 23yr old difficult child has been living with his grandparents for a few years, as we kicked him out when we could no longer live with the violent outbursts, and drug use, and just total lack of respect for anyone else in the house.
While, at the time, I knew in my heart, that this was not a great solution, because it was not showing him that his behavior would not be accepted, I guess that I thought, at least he's gone from my house, and maybe a change in environment would help.
Well, as you all know, it was not very helpful in the end. It turned into me getting phone calls every so often when he would start with his tirades, and then me having to go and deal with the behavior.
Recently, my mother in law came over one Sunday evening in tears, telling us that he is constantly intimidating her for money, rides, and generally whatever else he might want at any given moment.
So, as always, I got on the phone with him and explained to him, very clearly and calmly, that the next time I got a call about this behavior, he would have to leave his grandparents home.
The next week, he convinced everyone (not me though) that he was going to move out and stay with a friend until he can get a place of his own. He was so convincing to his grandma, that she gave him $800 to help (mostly I think in the hopes that he would really leave finally)
Well, as it turns out, he showed back up at their place 3 days later to stay, making up some bullsh** story. They unwillingly allowed him back, of course he had blown all the money on a good time party weekend. So, a few days later, the yelling and demanding and intimidating started again. I again get the call from grandma in tears, so as always, over I go, right into the barrage of insults and threats and name calling. Well, enough was enough and he wouldn't leave, so I called the cops. Of course, once he saw that I was serious, he left on his own accord. Of course not before telling us all how much he hates us, and telling me that when he hangs himself, he'll be sure to make sure that he leaves a note so that everyone knows that it was all my fault.
This was Monday night, and every since then, every night, he has asked me to go get this and that from grandmas house, and meet him, because he has a place to stay, and of course when I get there, it's a load of garbage, and he just starts in with the, I just don't see how this is right, I don't know how you can live with yourself while I'm on the streets with no $, food or place to stay. He then takes a couple of things and leaves the rest in my car, saying, I have nowhere to keep my stuff.
I am basically dealing with all of this alone, my husband works afternoon shift, so I am on my own at night, and that's when he is contacting me.
Last night, he came to my house, because I told him that I didn't have a car, because my daughter was working, so he shows up, again arguing that this isn't right, so I finally told him to leave or I would call the cops again, and he says "go ahead, I have a knife, and I'll stab them", so needless to say, I wasn't able to sleep until my husband got home @ 12:30 and I get up for work @ 4:30am.
I just don't know how to make this stop, the calls, the texts, showing up at my house.
This has been 8 years of pure hell. Drug use/abuse, suicide attempts, robbing us of every valuable thing in our home, including wedding rings, heirlooms, other siblings belongings etc. I am sure my son has undiagnosed mental illness, since he refuses to go see a doctor for help, and since the age of 16, I had no legal control over him.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take!
So, my 23yr old difficult child has been living with his grandparents for a few years, as we kicked him out when we could no longer live with the violent outbursts, and drug use, and just total lack of respect for anyone else in the house.
While, at the time, I knew in my heart, that this was not a great solution, because it was not showing him that his behavior would not be accepted, I guess that I thought, at least he's gone from my house, and maybe a change in environment would help.
Well, as you all know, it was not very helpful in the end. It turned into me getting phone calls every so often when he would start with his tirades, and then me having to go and deal with the behavior.
Recently, my mother in law came over one Sunday evening in tears, telling us that he is constantly intimidating her for money, rides, and generally whatever else he might want at any given moment.
So, as always, I got on the phone with him and explained to him, very clearly and calmly, that the next time I got a call about this behavior, he would have to leave his grandparents home.
The next week, he convinced everyone (not me though) that he was going to move out and stay with a friend until he can get a place of his own. He was so convincing to his grandma, that she gave him $800 to help (mostly I think in the hopes that he would really leave finally)
Well, as it turns out, he showed back up at their place 3 days later to stay, making up some bullsh** story. They unwillingly allowed him back, of course he had blown all the money on a good time party weekend. So, a few days later, the yelling and demanding and intimidating started again. I again get the call from grandma in tears, so as always, over I go, right into the barrage of insults and threats and name calling. Well, enough was enough and he wouldn't leave, so I called the cops. Of course, once he saw that I was serious, he left on his own accord. Of course not before telling us all how much he hates us, and telling me that when he hangs himself, he'll be sure to make sure that he leaves a note so that everyone knows that it was all my fault.
This was Monday night, and every since then, every night, he has asked me to go get this and that from grandmas house, and meet him, because he has a place to stay, and of course when I get there, it's a load of garbage, and he just starts in with the, I just don't see how this is right, I don't know how you can live with yourself while I'm on the streets with no $, food or place to stay. He then takes a couple of things and leaves the rest in my car, saying, I have nowhere to keep my stuff.
I am basically dealing with all of this alone, my husband works afternoon shift, so I am on my own at night, and that's when he is contacting me.
Last night, he came to my house, because I told him that I didn't have a car, because my daughter was working, so he shows up, again arguing that this isn't right, so I finally told him to leave or I would call the cops again, and he says "go ahead, I have a knife, and I'll stab them", so needless to say, I wasn't able to sleep until my husband got home @ 12:30 and I get up for work @ 4:30am.
I just don't know how to make this stop, the calls, the texts, showing up at my house.
This has been 8 years of pure hell. Drug use/abuse, suicide attempts, robbing us of every valuable thing in our home, including wedding rings, heirlooms, other siblings belongings etc. I am sure my son has undiagnosed mental illness, since he refuses to go see a doctor for help, and since the age of 16, I had no legal control over him.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take!