I’m new to this forum but I really need some ideas or advice about a child that has been in my care for the last few years. I’ll give you some of the history first. I got her when she was 6 and she is getting ready to turn 10. Unfortunately her parents are both on drugs and in and out of jail so before I got her she had been bounced around homes. My fiancé is her grandfather and I have known this little girl since birth. I also have two kids of my own which are ages 10 and 7. They have all been pretty much raised together but it’s been a long hard road. The little girls father has ADHD and I am starting to suspect the little girl does too since her teachers have all expressed their concerns to me about it so I made her an appointment with a therapist but it will be almost a month before I can get her in. The biggest problem I am facing is jealousy. I don’t mean the normal kind of jealousy, I mean extreme jealousy that has taken over her life. 50/75% of everything she says and does on a daily basis comes from a place of jealousy. I have tried to spend extra time with her and show her that I love her but it seems like nothing I do even makes a dent in how she feels. An example is that I catch her destroying my daughters things a lot like jumping up and down on my daughters iPad trying to break it. I always buy them the same things so she has an iPad of her own so that’s not the problem. She hides my kids things too. She is extremely intelligent for her age but she is also really manipulative so she tries to set my kids up to get in trouble almost on a daily basis. My daughter really looks up to her but the little girl has so much going on inside of her that she takes it out on my daughter. I hear her all the time when she thinks I’m not listening, telling my daughter how ugly and stupid she is. She is constantly putting her down and making her feel awful about herself. This has really started taking a toll on my daughters self confidence. she has also started lying a lot. She tells a Lot of stories that are not true and almost everything I ask her she lies about even if it’s something she knows I will find out about such as did u clean ur room. Another example of how sensitive and jealous she can be is yesterday her friend was called out of class because she is a cheerleader and they were having some kind of meeting. She started crying uncontrollably in class when her friend left, and she had to go to the office and talk to their counselor for over an hour. I have tried to get her to participate in cheerleading before but she said it was stupid and she would never do something like that. When she came home that evening she was talking about the cheerleaders and how much she hated them and she was getting so upset talking about it my heart just broke. These outbursts have started becoming more common and I know she has been through a lot but I’m struggling with what to do next. I don’t want to see her hurt but I’m feeling frustrated inside. She is starting to take it out on me and say hurtful things to me also. For example she has been getting into makeup artistry lately and she makes it a point to wait until people are around and tell me how bad my makeup looks and laugh at me. It hurts me that she is disrespecting me in such a way that she is constantly trying to embarrass me in front of other people. Another thing she has started doing is looking up facts on the computer and coming to me or the kids and asking these hard questions that she knows no one will know and then she will say hurtful things like we are stupid for not knowing the answer and I know and understand why she does it but it really bothers my kids that she does things like that and it’s really affecting their self confidence. It’s almost to the point that I dread when she walks in the room because I know she is about to say or do something hurtful. I talk to her almost everyday about her behavior and her feelings but I’m just not getting anywhere. She has so much hurt inside and no self esteem so she tries to rip everyone else’s self esteem away too. Any advice or a fresh outlook on the situation would help me more than words could explain. I’m just really tired and frustrated and since my fiancé works out of state during the week I’m on my own most of the time. Thanks and sorry this was so long! I just want to help her feel normal and loved!