Ferb has a new "Mom" and it's

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by pigless in VA, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    One of his friends who is actually a year younger than Ferb. They have been friends since preschool. This young man, I will call him "Bob," is happily for me, one of the most clear thinking friends Ferb has. Ferb still has no job but is living with Bob and his family. Bob's parents are the sort that will not put up with a bunch of malarkey from either young adult. I told Bob's mother that she could do whatever she needed to do as far as Ferb in concerned.

    Candy and I were able to get Ferb to go to two meals with us. During that time, Ferb told me that Bob's parents smoke weed. I'm not especially happy to hear that, but they are working people. They are kind and expect their sons to be respectful (they have another son in middle school.) He is safe with them.

    Bob has to help Ferb with everything. Bob drives him places and allows Ferb to use his phone. Today I had to call the dentist. Their office called me, because Ferb missed an appointment with them. I explained that he was difficult to contact, and I ended up giving them Bob's number. The whole scenario is just weird.

    I asked Ferb if he has visited the incarcerated teacher/girlfriend. He has not been to see her yet, but somehow they talk on the phone. She will be released in March. Ferb told me that the Dr. Phil show contacted her father wanting him to come onto the show. Ferb says that HE should be the one to go on. He seemed to like the idea of being instantly famous. I sincerely hope he does not do this, but I am powerless to stop it. In one conversation with Ferb, he said, "Mom, I don't take advice from anyone."

    If only he would grow a brain . . .
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  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Hey Pigless
    Ferb is being Ferb and does it not just amaze you how they find people willing to take the. In.

    The weed is concerning but why is there for you to do? Ferb will be Ferb.

    Dr. Phil....seriously?!
    I hope he doesn’t do this as well.

    Taking on the phone from prison is not cheep. How is he affordin to do this or who is paying $ into her phone plan that she is using to call him sheesh!

    I just think of the things we write on here. As unbelievable as it is you just can’t make this stuff up!

    I tell people who call me to contact Evan directly. I no longer play the go between for missed appointment, missed school, poor grades. Not my life so not my problems. That was a tough one to make as a boundary and Stick to. So far so good and it alleviates stress for me.

    I too hope Ferb and my Difficult Child grow a brain.
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  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sounds as if they set reasonable boundaries and expect decent behavior. This is a good thing. Maybe they will help Ferb see that you are not being mean when you refuse to accept his disrespect.

    If they are decent parents and otherwise responsible, I personally would not stress about the weed. I have known more than a few families who smoked weed and were amazing parents. Their children grew up to be decent citizens and parents, or are in the process of doing so.

    I don't think weed is a good choice for everyone, but I also don't think it is the worst thing in the world if it is used responsibly. If it is handled the way a drink or two after work is handled, which is largely how I saw it used, I don't see an issue. Maybe if Ferb sees it used this way he will learn that he still has to work and pay his bills even if he wants to use weed. Many of the people I knew who smoked were incredibly intelligent and accomplished great things, so it is possible for weed to not destroy your brain or motivation.

    As far as Dr. Phil, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to see Ferb on tv. It could happen, but hopefully it won't.

    As far as appointments and phone calls, Ferb is an adult now. I would just give people a number where they can reach him. Bob's number is as good as any. If/when he moves out of Bob's house, you may have to tell them that you don't know where he is. Or simply take a message and put it in a folder for the next time you see him. You can put all his mail in there also.

    Dr. Phil. Why? Heavens to Betsy, why?
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  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Well, at least you know he's staying somewhere safe.

    UGH!! The parents smoke weed. I'm sure Ferb thinks that's pretty cool. Hopefully the parents only do it in the evening after work like some people will have a drink. At least the parents both work so Ferb will see that even though they smoke weed they still hold down jobs and are responsible.

    I'm guessing that Bob's parents pay for his phone. If Bob is letting Ferb use his phone for the phone calls from jail those charges will show up on the phone bill. Back when I used to accept phone calls from my son while in jail a 15 min phone call cost me $30. It's crazy expensive!

    Oh Dr. Phil. While his show might be entertaining I will never understand why people would want to go on national tv to discuss their dysfunction. I do hope that this will not come to pass.
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