Finding Out..

Discussion in 'Failure to Thrive' started by Gail, Oct 24, 2017.

  1. GStorm

    GStorm Becoming Independent

    I just sent my son to an inpt unit to get assessed for suicidal ideation/plan on Wed. Oct 18th. I kept his phone to call his roommate. I found out that my son, RJ, (currently unemployed) was about to get his utilities cut off, that he was lying to his roommate, taking his half of the rent and buying porn stuff online. Before I found this out, I went and paid the electric bill and had (had?) to give his roommate the bad news that they were being evicted.
    My son is about to be discharged from the hospital. At first, I was going to let him stay with me, but now I have decided to NOT pick him up from the hospital. I called to tell him that he would need to get assistace from his caseworker because he has been lying, cheating, & stealing from his rooommate, me (who gave him rent money in Aug, my best friend, who paid 2 months rent, & my sister, who gave him 500. As I was telling him this, he hung up on me!!! So, I guess he is in the right place, because I am refusing to enable him any more. I have his phone and car (both of which I have been paying on since April.
    Any moral support woyld be appreciated. I am glad I found this site! Thank God
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Welcome Gail

    It's good that you are realizing that by helping your son it is actually hurting him.

    My son has drug issues as you can see by my signature but others will be along to offer their support.

    Keep reading the forum. There is SO MUCH knowledge here and no judgement!

    You are not alone. We are all struggling here.
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Welcome
    Please know you are not alone. And the right thing to do is never the easy thing to do.
    I have just put my 18 year old son out of the house for drug use and General bad behaviour and school failure second kick at grade 12. This was impossibly difficult and was only possible by the support of others on his site.
    You are doing the right thing. Hang in there.
     
  4. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    Gail

    You're right. He's in the right place.

    Just like when they were little, and they didn't want to get a vaccine or say sorry for hitting their sister, you have to continue to be the parent he needs, not the parent he wants.

    Things change. Healthy young people may need financial help through college, some tutoring when they're struggling in a class, help with their resume, an ear when they experience their first broken heart. All of which we would gladly provide.

    But our struggling kids needs different things .... a reality check, rock bottom, professional help. Feel confident that you are loving him when you're helping him with those things. You're giving him the best chance at health and maturity.