First it was the phone, then the ID card, now it's the MATH book!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    difficult child 1 has now lost his math book! It's supposed to stay here at home. I've seen it here at home, first in one room, then another, then on the floor here, then on the table over there. difficult child 1 reaaaaaly struggles (like his dad) to put things back when he's done using them, let alone assign a home for important things and keep them there. The last time difficult child 1 remembers having the book was last Thursday afternoon when he was doing homework in his room.

    We have turned this house upside down looking for this blasted textbook!!!

    His teacher said it's not in the classroom, and they looked for it today. He also said difficult child 1 left at the end of class without asking for a loaner so he could do his HOMEWORK!!! :hammer: I replied that I wasn't surprised, and that this is typical of the kinds of things he struggles with.

    I am just SO fed up with him losing things that are IMPORTANT.

    We'll keep scouring the house, because he swears he never took it anywhere. Yeah, right.

    husband just chalks it up to difficult child 1 being like his dad, who is equally guilty of misplacing important things. :faint:
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I've always had soft neurological signs, since childhood, and I had one heck of a time remembering where I put things. When I was a child I would put something down and, unless my mind wasn't wandering and it usually was :tongue:, I didn't even remember what I did with it. My mom found my things everywhere from in school bathrooms to the refrigerator once.

    I'm still spacy that way, but I have learned to think very hard about what I do with things and put them in the same place every time. This is, strangely, a hard concept for a kid with a short term memory problem, which it sounds like he might have. Look in the most improbable places.

    My mom used to scream at me all the time for losing text books. To avoid this, in high school I started stealing other student's books. I didn't do it to be malicious. I panicked and took them.

    I just wanted you to know what MAY be going on with your little guy, and that he's not the only one and that he probably needs some hands on to help him compensate for his poor short term memory. These are probably things you already figured out. I know they are annoying. I used to get very annoyed with MYSELF! I still do when I lose things.

    When people complain about "senior moments" i say, "Welcome to my world.":tongue:
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oh, I know very well he as short-term memory issues. And the neuropsychologist confirmed it last Spring. It's still aggravating on my side of it! We even searched his dresser drawers, thinking he may have just set it down on one when it was open (they're always open with clothes falling out). easy child was in his room the other day "helping" him to tidy up because I'd asked him about six times and he hadn't done a thing about it. Bless her heart :) I'm wondering if she put it "away" some place. I'm certain it's not in his room. We've dug through the closet, under the bed, behind the bed, behind the dresser, under the blankets, etc. Sigh. Stuff like this makes me cranky.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It can be so hard when you lose things. I did that with keys for years. Now I make a point to keep them in the same place - if I don't I get so freaked I have panic attacks. One of the few things that causes them now.

    Sending hugs and some extra patience for you while he goes through this. Hopefully he can learn some strategies to help with this. If you need to buy another one for home use, get the ISBN number from the teacher (or a copy he borrows until he finds his) and look for it at . I was able to get jessie's textbooks for about $6 each including shipping and they were the same books our school was using - I got the ISBN's from another parent.

    My bro went through a two month period where he couldn't find his math and latin textbooks. He had been beating me when he got frustrated with anything, and then took a book I was reading out of my hands (a school library book) and told me I wasn't old enough to read it and he tore it to pieces. I had had enough and took his textbooks because that would not be something anyone EVER suspected me of. After the initial few days I put them between his mattress and box springs. They were there and I even suggested he look there. He blew me off so I let it be.

    Then one day he bullied me into digging laundry out from under his bed. He wasn't in the room, so I "found" the books under the bed.

    I was about 32 before I told my mother. She was astounded - both at me taking it and at it being there all that time.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This was a big problem with difficult child, too. Did you check under the sofa, bed, in any pile of clothes in the bedroom? Odd ly enough, my son's stuff always turned up....eventually.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    We've looked everywhere. It probably WILL turn up, after we've paid for the replacement! :p

    Kinda like the hat difficult child 2 lost at Disneyland earlier this month. He bought it there with his own money and decided to wear it when we went back a week later. Took it off and stowed it in a storage bag on a ride, then forgot to remove it from the bag. We went back to the ride to search the car he was on, and it was not there :( Reported it to lost and found, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    We went back a week later on our passes, and he decides to buy ANOTHER hat -- even more expensive than the last one, but hey, it's his money. Whatever.

    Guess what arrived in the mail TODAY? Yup. His lost hat from Disneyland. They found it! Oh well, now he has two hats. :p
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Natural consequences.....they work like a charm for boys this age!! He'll get it....or he can keep spending his money!!
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    When you find it see if my difficult child's calculator and yellow folder is with it.

    I think what frustrates me the most with my kids is their lack of concern when they do loose something. Why is it that all the anxiety of finding it falls on me? Why can they not suffer some of that feeling? Maybe because while I take on that responsibility, they feel safe in the fact that mom will find it no matter how angry she gets?

    Do let us know where it shows up - it may give some of us like me another place to look for our next lost item?
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Check for Miss KT's sunglasses, too. Finally, she has designated places for schoolbooks. Finally.

    Good luck in your search!
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm just so TIRED of people LOSING stuff around here, and like Andy said, I'm the only one to worry about it!

    So tonight I met my li'l group of gal pals for our monthly LNO (Ladies Night Out) at someone's house.... a lovely dinner, a few glasses of fine red wine, and I'm not worried one whit about the book. Or anything else for that matter. :p
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs-I completely understand. Of course, when my difficult child loses something, it isn't his fault, it's ours!
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Did you check in the cars? Especially husband's car? I ask because they seem to become the repository for most things lost around here. :winks:
  13. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Check the car. husband's car is a sty, and easy child left her mp3 in it. Took months for it to turn up.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He did check the car(s). No luck. My guess is that it's hiding somewhere in the house, or he took it to school and doesn't remember (because he's pretty vehemently denying that it ever left the house).

    I found an online source for the book like Susistar suggested. It's an $80 textbook, and I can get one for about $24 new, including shipping. husband says to give it another week and then to go ahead and order it. I need to check with the school first, though.
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I have to track every thing. I have to NAG every one to just leave thing where they are. I have set up spots for studies etc. JUST LEAVE IT!
    It kind of works.
    But my girls are still young. And husband is very trainable.

    I so wish I had a LNO, SIGH... I am working on it.
  16. ML

    ML Guest

    I am going through the same thing. Manster is forgetting to bring things home from school and getting in trouble. Punishing doesn't work and the teacher doesn't see it that way. Ugh. I know what you are going through.
  17. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    It's probably one of the most frustrating aspects of parenting for me.

    We still haven't found the math book, but he has a loaner. husband says to give it a few more weeks, and then difficult child 1 will have to come up with the money to pay for it.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Glad the website helped. Are there used copies that would be less expensive? I am thinking difficult child could buy both the new copy for school and a used copy for home. Then the school copy could stay at school and the used one could be his at home copy for studying and homework.
  19. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Been there. difficult child goes through ID's several times a week. If you don't have it when you get to school they make you purchase another. Last year I was unaware this was going on. Until I got a bill for over $50 within two months. $6.00 for ID and $3.00 for lanyard. It was going to cost me several hundred dollars a year just in ID's.

    This year when I went to register him there was a $65 charge for algebra book. I questioned that because I had a second set of books at home. When I went to meet the person to return them he didn't show up and I gave them to someone else. I needed to know if it was MY book or his. He never took his book home, used the one at home. They said they would check into it and I haven't heard since.

    Middle school was the same. I could drop him off with the book and by the time he got to class he would lose it. Grrrr. Isn't it frustrating? Thankfully he has not misplaced his phone.

    Good luck, hope you find it. Did you check the car?
  20. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Susie, I have to find out if they'll let me go that route. I don't see why not, but you know how bureaucracies can be about their "rules"..

    Kjs we've checked everywhere. I'm going to be VERY surprised if and when we ever do find it. Probaby when he graduates!