I had no large family on mother's side. My one hated uncle who gave me the willies fortunately didn't marry until late 40s and didn't breed. My dad had a big, probably, maybe? fun family but Mother ruled our domain and she didn't want us to be close to them and Dad was afraid of her I believe so I had no nieces or nephews in my life to have to maybe watch. My mother had no sisters with kids to be close to.
My life and family was very odd
My mom did not drive. I don't remember her shopping
She must have done it on Saturdays when my grandma came over. I loved my grandma to the moon! My grandma didn't drive either so l think my grandpa drove Mother to the store for food and I got Grandma babysitting time but details are unclear to me.
Except for that and grandpa driving me to drama and singing lessons (I think my mother came with) my mom was housebound and delegated no chores to anyone. She did not clean or cook much herself. She did manage to scapegoat me badly...we had a typical dysfunctional family run by Mother and she had her golden child, my brother, the child she ignored (the lost child) my sister, and the scapegoat for all that was wrong with our family unit....me. I am still seen as such which is why I no longer want any contact with my sister. She thinks that my mother was right and I think my brother does too....so there is no point in contact. But our family weirdness made my early life very unusual. I was never taught the things kids should know or coping skills or responsibility and I was made to feel by all in my little family that I was bad and crazy and the problem. I see how silly that is now, but back then I believed it. Even now my sister diagnosed me as borderline so I give up. I don't have it. I am in therapy and have been since 23, and never gotten that diagnosis, but she needs to think very badly of me.
In truth I believe my mother was the borderline. People to her were either all good or all bad and she was extremely angry, cruel to me, her bad daughter, and she had a horrible temper and little empathy. At least, she was that way to me.
In spite of being raised with no skills taught, we lived in a wealthy area although we were not wealthy and we picked up the sort of spoiled kid deal from the neighborhood peers...many I knew had maids, even butlers. Maybe some kids had chores. I was not popular. But the few kids I knew did not have chores that I remember.
I look back and these are my impressions. No wonder I never changed a diaper.
I vowed my kids would grow up differently. They did. And I was very careful not to call my kids names, even at their worst because my mother's words were in my head a long time. And they all had chores and responsibility and Princess changed diapers for Sonic and Jumper. Paper ones though...lol.
My childhood was a nightmare and I didn't learn much at home and had anxiety at school. Everything I learned, I learned outside of home. And the love came when married my second husband. Since him, I have lived a normal, peaceful life and my self esteem shot up. I so appreciate and adore my family of choice, maybe more than usual because I was so ostracized in my upside down family of origin.
Old Hand, I can feel your affection for your childhood. How blessed you are to have had that!! I am happy for you.
So many of your experiences are foreign to me. Our family was not close nor did anyone teach or guide me into adulthood. I was always a family outcast but that was good, as I am able to connect deeply and intimately with others and I don't think my sister can, maybe from staying close to so much dysfunction. She has never had a recipricated love relationship. I feel very badly for her because of that. But my mother didn't have luck in love either. Only I have. Ironic.
Sorry to rob this great topic. Guess I had to emote lol. Carry on