BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Well, apparently J. wasn't the angel I thought he was. He did not force sex (they never had any) and he did not break the law, but he was often very mean to Jumper and made her cry, even at prom. He was so jealous of her that if she so much as accidentally glanced at another guy, he would boycott talking to her for HOURS and call her nice names like "*****." She told me that the first three months were good and after that they fought all the time over his delusions that she was cheating on him with boys. SHE WAS NOT. SHE JUST WANTED HIM! Heck, she was always home unless she had a ballgame or was with J.
This was a set of his (J's) behaviors and his rules due to his jealousy and delusions.
1/If she wanted to watch a boy's baseball game or go to a mixed group bonfire, BRINGING HIM WITH, he would either not go and fight with her over it or go and sulk. He didn't want her ANYWHERE where there were boys. Not even if he was there. Her friends hated him because he sulked and would not try to interact with them when he did reluctantly agree to go. He refused to make friends with her friends, girls and especially guys.
2/He texted her from morning to night, giving her no time alone. She wanted some space, but if she forgot to check her texts and didn't get back to him for ten minutes he was positive she was texting a boy. Then he would go cold on her and ignore her for hours.
3/He checked her cell phone. If a boy happened to text her just to say hi, he would threaten to break up with her.
At prom he would not speak to her during dinner (because he said she was checking out some guy who was in their group) and would not dance with her until it was half over. She was crying and her friends wanted to beat him up. She really loved him and it hurt. In his deluded mind, she was ALWAYS checking out guys (Jumper is NOT like that. She is NOT boy crazy).
Finally, this summer she told him straight out she was hanging around with her friends and if he didn't trust her, they would break up. He didn't really want to break up with her, but he said some very hurtful things to her (she showed me the texts). So he finally insisted he would come over and return all the gifts she had given him and expected her to return all the gifts he had given her. That, in his opinion, was what you do when you break up a relationship. YOu give back all the loving things you made for and bought and gave to each other. You do not keep them for memories. You even return pictures and loving cards). I thought this was just plain odd. I never heard of giving back things like the blanket she made just for him, but whatever.
The first time they did it, they cried into one another's arms and couldn't go through with it. The second time, they also cried, but they went through with it. He told her he would never ever speak to her again and would delete her from FB if they ever broke up (friendly, huh?). He won't speak to her, but he hasn't deleted her. So she has checked his FB .
Well, his crazy Stepmother has added him back as a son again. He is back as a member of his family now that they have broken up. She laughed at that, but, as Mom, that hurt ME. Then...he has a sort of stepbrother (won't go into detail) who is rather creepy and he keeps following Jumper around, watching her play volleyball and seems to find out where she is going and goes to watch her. That creeps her out, but she's not afraid of him and she ignores him.
Jumper and I had a long talk about her next boyfriend, which she says she doesn't want for a long time...lol. But when she has another one, she says his family has to like her and he has to be ok with her talking to other boys...at least when HE is with her. He has to be outgoing, like she is because she doesn't want another sulky guy sitting in a corner with his head down, making her cry. She also said she will NOT date a boy who is two years older than her. He can only be one year older, one year younger, or her own age. She learned a lot from this relationship.
J. is a very troubled boy. I felt so bad for him, but I had no idea that he was cruel to my child at times. She does say she IS going to see him once before he goes off to college. Ugh. I hope he refuses, but I think he still likes her, even if he's mad. SHE was the one who ultimately broke it off.
Meanwhile, Jumper has had a carefree summer, reuniting with all of her friends again, and she is doing volleyball, weigh lifting, and basketball. She is not home much and has a ton of friends.
I hope to hell J. hasn't made her afraid to have another boyfriend, but she has to do it in her time. She told me, "Mom, I'm only sixteen. I don't need a boyfriend right now."
So this is the end of J. and Jumper. I am so glad that Jumper is not sitting around and mooning over him. She is truly my most sensible child.
I think J. will not enjoy Indiana State. He's going from a small town school to a big school, and no girl he meets in college is going to follow his insane jealousy rules. College girls are not going to put up with him at all. Not that I wish him ill. I don't.
I do hope he seeks out help for his many issues. He had threatened suicide many times to Jumper.
Well, that's it. Have a nice day
This was a set of his (J's) behaviors and his rules due to his jealousy and delusions.
1/If she wanted to watch a boy's baseball game or go to a mixed group bonfire, BRINGING HIM WITH, he would either not go and fight with her over it or go and sulk. He didn't want her ANYWHERE where there were boys. Not even if he was there. Her friends hated him because he sulked and would not try to interact with them when he did reluctantly agree to go. He refused to make friends with her friends, girls and especially guys.
2/He texted her from morning to night, giving her no time alone. She wanted some space, but if she forgot to check her texts and didn't get back to him for ten minutes he was positive she was texting a boy. Then he would go cold on her and ignore her for hours.
3/He checked her cell phone. If a boy happened to text her just to say hi, he would threaten to break up with her.
At prom he would not speak to her during dinner (because he said she was checking out some guy who was in their group) and would not dance with her until it was half over. She was crying and her friends wanted to beat him up. She really loved him and it hurt. In his deluded mind, she was ALWAYS checking out guys (Jumper is NOT like that. She is NOT boy crazy).
Finally, this summer she told him straight out she was hanging around with her friends and if he didn't trust her, they would break up. He didn't really want to break up with her, but he said some very hurtful things to her (she showed me the texts). So he finally insisted he would come over and return all the gifts she had given him and expected her to return all the gifts he had given her. That, in his opinion, was what you do when you break up a relationship. YOu give back all the loving things you made for and bought and gave to each other. You do not keep them for memories. You even return pictures and loving cards). I thought this was just plain odd. I never heard of giving back things like the blanket she made just for him, but whatever.
The first time they did it, they cried into one another's arms and couldn't go through with it. The second time, they also cried, but they went through with it. He told her he would never ever speak to her again and would delete her from FB if they ever broke up (friendly, huh?). He won't speak to her, but he hasn't deleted her. So she has checked his FB .
Well, his crazy Stepmother has added him back as a son again. He is back as a member of his family now that they have broken up. She laughed at that, but, as Mom, that hurt ME. Then...he has a sort of stepbrother (won't go into detail) who is rather creepy and he keeps following Jumper around, watching her play volleyball and seems to find out where she is going and goes to watch her. That creeps her out, but she's not afraid of him and she ignores him.
Jumper and I had a long talk about her next boyfriend, which she says she doesn't want for a long time...lol. But when she has another one, she says his family has to like her and he has to be ok with her talking to other boys...at least when HE is with her. He has to be outgoing, like she is because she doesn't want another sulky guy sitting in a corner with his head down, making her cry. She also said she will NOT date a boy who is two years older than her. He can only be one year older, one year younger, or her own age. She learned a lot from this relationship.
J. is a very troubled boy. I felt so bad for him, but I had no idea that he was cruel to my child at times. She does say she IS going to see him once before he goes off to college. Ugh. I hope he refuses, but I think he still likes her, even if he's mad. SHE was the one who ultimately broke it off.
Meanwhile, Jumper has had a carefree summer, reuniting with all of her friends again, and she is doing volleyball, weigh lifting, and basketball. She is not home much and has a ton of friends.
I hope to hell J. hasn't made her afraid to have another boyfriend, but she has to do it in her time. She told me, "Mom, I'm only sixteen. I don't need a boyfriend right now."
So this is the end of J. and Jumper. I am so glad that Jumper is not sitting around and mooning over him. She is truly my most sensible child.
I think J. will not enjoy Indiana State. He's going from a small town school to a big school, and no girl he meets in college is going to follow his insane jealousy rules. College girls are not going to put up with him at all. Not that I wish him ill. I don't.
I do hope he seeks out help for his many issues. He had threatened suicide many times to Jumper.
Well, that's it. Have a nice day
Last edited: